AIBU to lose my sh*t at these cheeky f*ckers?

[StitchInLime]

So we decided to give some toys away for free to a woman who posted on local Facebook page saying she is struggling with money as a single mum of twins (boy and girl) and was worried about their upcoming 7th birthdays. She was delighted, said they’d make ideal presents and was super grateful. My only stipulation was she comes to collect them herself.

So last night she turned up… with another couple. Fine, they have a van so makes sense (quite bulky toys: Barbie dollhouse, Avengers plane etc). But then the other woman in the couple starts asking me if I’m giving any other toys away for free, or even kids clothes, as their kids could do with some stuff too. I was a bit 😒 but just sort of smiled and said no. But then (and honestly can’t even believe this happened as I type this) the (quite big) dude actually walks through into the play area we’ve set up in conservatory and starts going through the other toys. Toys we’re keeping! When I asked what he was doing, he said he was just seeing what other toys they could take, like I hadn’t just made it clear only the stuff in the hallway was to be taken.

So obviously lost my shit a bit and told him we weren’t Toy R Us and he was like ‘alright, calm down love’ while his wife / GF gave me a right look and I swear I heard her say ‘stupid bitch’ under her breath. The original woman we were helping did look super embarrassed, to be fair to her.

They stormed past me and start loading the toys up, giving me filthy looks as they did and I just wanted them out of the house as honestly felt a little threatened by then and hubby was at footie (kids were playing upstairs thankfully). But then they realised they can’t fit the mega dollhouse in so ask to come back the next day. I say not possible as I’m out, and the dude said ‘well that’s the only time we can do it’ and that was it, I was done with these CFs so I just said ‘dollhouse withdrawn from offer then’ and closed the door on them. They actually knocked a few times then eventually left.

But now I’m feeling all sorts of guilt. I did email the woman to explain how I felt about it all, but if she has other people who can help her get the dollhouse then she can still have it but she has left me on read. AIBU for withdrawing the dollhouse? She did get an Avengers plane and easel plus some other bits for free. I just couldn’t deal with the idea of those CF turning up again!

Never feel guilty for standing up for yourself against rude entitled cunts. They 💯 give zero fucks about your feelings so why should give a fuck about being ‘rude’ to them (you weren’t rude)

That's really sad and I actually feel sorry for the original woman if she looked embarrassed. Maybe she had no way of transporting the stuff without relying on these people. They sound horrible and I'm glad you shut the door.

I give quite a few bits away on social media, and I only ever arrange collections for when my husband will be home. I don't ever let them into my home. They knock when they arrive, I talk to them through the fly screen and then I bring the stuff outside. We don't live in a particularly nice area and I have young children in the house.

Not surprised.

There are a lot of entitled cheeky fuckers around who know if you enough have brass neck you can get away with pretty much anything.

It's not a new thing.

for you OP.

Fuck feeling guilty, I'd get angry. The woman should be contacting you to apologise
How fucking dare he

I agree - it sounds planned. Looks like they're the type who'd sell the toys on a bit like some guys I saw rummaging through the clothes bins in the street

That bloke sounds terrifying

Is the mutual FB friend someone you know in real life?

I haven't done a car boot sale in years, but there used to be people exactly like that bloke. They descended on each new car as it arrived, peering through the windows & then as soon as the boot/hatch was opened they'd be reaching in & picking stuff up & asking, "How much d'you want for this?", while the hapless seller was trying to set up a table & get boxes out.

It's very unnerving when you don't know it's going to happen to you! Well done for dealing with it so well, OP.

This is why I tend to not advertise items for free on e.g. Freecycle.

Had a work desk that I hadn't used, brand new in box. Had loads of people want it, then the woman who took it, very quickly took it, hardly a word of thanks etc.

No good deed goes unpunished.

I would have felt very threatened and asked them to leave as soon as the bloke walked into the house and attempted to steal my property! Never advertise free stuff - it attracts all the scammers. Even if you just charge a fiver it puts them off. Then if a genuine person turns up you waive the payment and just let them have it.

I've read so many posts like this that whenever I'm tempted to list something for sale, I remind myself not to and then donate it instead. Some people are so rude and entitled.

They sound awful. I think they are scammers tbh. I would've called the police and taken note of the registration number.

Facebook marketplace is nuts. I advertised a free dining table and chairs. I had tons of people wanting it even when I updated to say it was gone pending pick up. Can they not see that there are 96 comments before them wanting it. One guy said ‘well I can take it today so you lucked out having to wait!’ Erm ok. One woman kept asking for it even after I explained several times it had gone.

Sounds like they are fishing for stock for this weekends boot sale. Do not have anymore contact, you are too kind for your own good.Next time donate directly to a charity.

This is why I never sell things or give away things for people to collect, you just don't know who will come knocking on your door, I have a friend who was trying to sell something people turned up and was actually threatening they had to call the police, after that she was to scared to leave her home. Just be careful.

Got burnt like this on freecycle years ago.
Spoke to a lovely woman on the phone who gave me this sob story (not needed as I just wanted rid of some stuff).
Said her husband would come and collect.
Two big blokes turned up in a white van already bulging with items.
Never again.

I really hope the toys were for her children. Some people are just shameless. I once did similar and gave away quite a bit of barbie dolls and accessories that my girls had outgrown. Easily could have been sold, but thought it nicer to give to a little girl who would enjoy them and otherwise wouldn't be able to afford them.

Fast forward to the following weekend and we went to a car boot sale and there the mum was selling them all off, packaged up into separate 'lots' and way above what i'd consider affordable for a little kid spending their pocket money.

I was fuming, she saw me, but I didn't say anything, just raised my eyebrows (I hate confrontation, I know, I know). Later on I just justified it to myself that she probably must be so desperate to be able to take advantage of people like that. But in reality she was probably just a cheeky fucker.

Should have made them unload the entire van. Though I appreciate you didn't feel comfortable, so you did what felt right. Cheeky as hell

I do both put and collect stuff on Freecycle. You can weed people out pretty well to make sure it's.not just a seller who gets stuff from the way they reply and how quickly they reply (very quickly - a seller that's constantly updating the page). I am always polite and grateful to collect. People are generally polite when collecting from me, the odd person less so. But you can't stop recycling stuff and doing good because of a couple of bad apples.

Sounds like a bunch of thieves, I do hope you have good security, wouldn't put it past them breaking in and helping themselves to your electrical goods too. This is precisely why I won't offer anything for free on market place, I give stuff to family and the rest goes to the tip. I just wouldn't want to be inviting people like this onto my property. It's a shame for the poor woman with the children, but I think free stuff does unfortunately encourage people like this.

The comments on this post put me off giving stuff away.

Don't be to suprised if they're being sold on. So many losers who think they can make a tidy profit by flipping

YANBU. I have a friend who had a similar experience to yours and I’ve heard other people say the same. It’s why I will just keep taking stuff to the charity shops instead.