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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to lose my sh*t at these cheeky f*ckers?

224 replies

StitchInLime · 17/06/2022 07:59

So we decided to give some toys away for free to a woman who posted on local Facebook page saying she is struggling with money as a single mum of twins (boy and girl) and was worried about their upcoming 7th birthdays. She was delighted, said they’d make ideal presents and was super grateful. My only stipulation was she comes to collect them herself.

So last night she turned up… with another couple. Fine, they have a van so makes sense (quite bulky toys: Barbie dollhouse, Avengers plane etc). But then the other woman in the couple starts asking me if I’m giving any other toys away for free, or even kids clothes, as their kids could do with some stuff too. I was a bit 😒 but just sort of smiled and said no. But then (and honestly can’t even believe this happened as I type this) the (quite big) dude actually walks through into the play area we’ve set up in conservatory and starts going through the other toys. Toys we’re keeping! When I asked what he was doing, he said he was just seeing what other toys they could take, like I hadn’t just made it clear only the stuff in the hallway was to be taken.

So obviously lost my shit a bit and told him we weren’t Toy R Us and he was like ‘alright, calm down love’ while his wife / GF gave me a right look and I swear I heard her say ‘stupid bitch’ under her breath. The original woman we were helping did look super embarrassed, to be fair to her.

They stormed past me and start loading the toys up, giving me filthy looks as they did and I just wanted them out of the house as honestly felt a little threatened by then and hubby was at footie (kids were playing upstairs thankfully). But then they realised they can’t fit the mega dollhouse in so ask to come back the next day. I say not possible as I’m out, and the dude said ‘well that’s the only time we can do it’ and that was it, I was done with these CFs so I just said ‘dollhouse withdrawn from offer then’ and closed the door on them. They actually knocked a few times then eventually left.

But now I’m feeling all sorts of guilt. I did email the woman to explain how I felt about it all, but if she has other people who can help her get the dollhouse then she can still have it but she has left me on read. AIBU for withdrawing the dollhouse? She did get an Avengers plane and easel plus some other bits for free. I just couldn’t deal with the idea of those CF turning up again!

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 18/06/2022 18:27

Even with the confirmation that the twins exist, I bet the toys are currently for sale.

Penguinsaregreat · 18/06/2022 18:34

No I would never fall for this crap again. Give it to charity.
My local tip had a section called ‘special things’ or something like that and I put quite a few toys in there. They were in immaculate condition and I sometimes regret it as if I had had the room I would have kept them for future grandchildren.
Anyway when I went to the tip this section had gone so I really hope it hadn’t been abused by cfs.
I would tell your mutual friend what happened and that you are very angry about how the other couple behaved.

rnsaslkih · 18/06/2022 18:34

What utter bastards. Only to charity shop in future.

pinkpantherpink · 18/06/2022 18:40

CFs. I'm concerned at his boldness

Take care x

Huxley1234 · 18/06/2022 18:42

That’s disgraceful behaviour from them. They’ll probably be selling all the toys on a website. Be careful who you let into your home. I hope your alright.

Londonderry34 · 18/06/2022 18:48

Take everything to a charity shop. I love Mind and our local hospice charity.

Notbeforemycoffeeplease · 18/06/2022 18:50

I’m amazed at how terribly these people have behaved, you were doing a kind hearted thing so don’t feel guilty at all OP. You don’t owe people anything, it was an act of generosity and she brought people along that behaved disgustingly - frankly I’d have been scared if someone had waded their way into my home like that. You say she brought those people along because they have a van and yet a dolls house still didn’t fit - sounds a bit strange. Either way, she’s had some free toys from you, don’t bother trying to do anything else. She should be offering you an apology for the way her friends acted.

CompletelyConfusedMummy · 18/06/2022 18:52

Wow! Disgusting behaviour…YANBU! I would have felt very uncomfortable, even a bit threatened by that sort of behaviour. You handled it well. Sorry you had to experience that when you were just trying to do something good. x

Hutchy16 · 18/06/2022 18:53

Tl:dr all posts, so sorry if I missed something…but this stuff is definitely going to a car boot sale 💯

Tessabelle74 · 18/06/2022 18:55

Have you got security? If so make sure it's set as they sound like they could be trouble and come back for what they liked the look of

Skynorth · 18/06/2022 18:58

Why did you allow strangers into your home?
Yourd not being unreasonable and in fact I would have kicked them out and refused to give them anything.
Next time, donate the unwanted items to a women’s refuge or other charity that helps vulnerable families. Sadly, the people you mentioned who took the toys would certainly have done so to sell them on.

GothamGirl1970 · 18/06/2022 19:16

I am filled with disgust at this absolutely appalling behaviour. I’m so sorry and I hope you are ok!

Lunalae · 18/06/2022 19:27

They're full of shit. They're putting that all back up for sale.

Pixie2015 · 18/06/2022 19:29

That’s awful to hear how you were treated - just read few of the replies I put some of my baby things on our area Facebook and someone replied asap as said would be great as sister having twins - and no other posts from her on any topics other than taking free things - think from what others have said think they probably been sold !

MissMaple82 · 18/06/2022 19:29

Totally not being unreasonable!

wentworthinmate · 18/06/2022 19:40

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lifewithelenakatrina · 18/06/2022 20:05

I'd have called the police - he had no right to enter your property or touch your kids belongings. I would still consider reporting the behaviour to the police in case they are known for this kind of thing.

CharlotteLightandDark · 18/06/2022 20:11

“I did email the woman to explain how I felt about it all, but if she has other people who can help her get the dollhouse then she can still have it but she has left me on read.”

how can you tell if an email has been read or not?

ALongHardWinter · 18/06/2022 20:23

Omg the cheek of some people! 😱

Reginaldina · 18/06/2022 20:51

You're not being unreasonable, that was fucking rude! It's not as if you'd advertised on FB that you were having a clear out and everything must go, you'd stated the item this lady could have.
Good on you for helping her out, don't feel guilty, she's obviously aware of how rude they are and she I doubt she's thinking bad of you. Maybe these CF's were the only people who could help her with the collection.

Scurryfunge12 · 18/06/2022 21:10

YABU for giving the cheeky fuckers anything! How dare they give you filthy looks while taking your kids toys that you have kindly donated? Beggars belief!

CambsAlways · 18/06/2022 21:21

Oh good god I’d have gone ballistic, it’s obvious they are selling them on! The minute he tried to get into my house he’d have been told to get the f out! So the person that was having the toys brought in another couple that’s quite odd!

CambsAlways · 18/06/2022 21:25

just seen the post further down, so you let the couple into your house and he went into conservatory without being told he could! I’m extra cautious and if it was me the toys they could take would be at the front door with me, I don’t allow strangers into my house

Hawkins001 · 18/06/2022 21:42

I Understand you trying to do a charitable consideration, if you offer any in the future op, id keep them outside or a section where it's locked down from the main premises.

JuneJubilee · 18/06/2022 22:07

GrazingSheep · 17/06/2022 08:06

Also lock your door so people can’t walk past you into your house.

????

yeah, that'll make it super easy to give someone stuff they've come to collect, what do you suggest? They break the toys up and push things out of the letter box???

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