To think class parents need to do more?

[annoyedatotherparents]

Probably will get told that people have their own lives, everyone's busy, etc etc.

But am seriously annoyed today. I've done two years of being a class rep at my DS's school. Primary aged kids, but pretty minimal work - organising vouchers for teachers at Christmas, occasional presents for class mums who've had babies, organising volunteer rotas for two fairs a year (Xmas and summer). The kids are getting older so there's minimal reminders needed and everyone knows everyone else now so fewer social things - people just hang out in the groups they like. So all pretty easy.

I asked around today as the usual pattern is for people to do two years as class rep then hand over to someone else. The class WhatsApp was totally silent...tumbleweed. Everyone appears to be utilising the Mumsnet maxim of no being a complete sentence. However....this will mean I end up getting saddled with it all again. And I have 3DC and a full time job. There are plenty of mums in the class with one child and no job. (Rich enough husbands to not need to work).

I guess my AIBU is - would I BU to just tell everyone I'm drawing names out of a hat? The competitive busyness thing is ridiculous and I'm sure everyone will have a tantrum if I do that but the alternative is me just putting up with it and that will drive me mad!

Agreed there’s absolutely need to give the pregnant mums presents for their second third or fourth child. Also, it’s an independent school, they can’t exactly be struggling and needing some extra sleepsuits. The whole thing sounds like a load of unnecessary work, which is why no one wants to do it.

Just stop doing it. This drives me mad - the pressure to volunteer. I don’t want to do it for my DC’s class. I don’t want to go to the fair, or the parents’ drinks, so I don’t want to organise it. If nobody wants to organise it, it won’t happen. That’s a natural consequence. If there isn’t a class rep, the school will have to email the parents on a group email. No big deal. If you don’t want to do it any more, then just don’t.

If you drew my name out of the hat it would be going straight back in again I’m afraid.

nobody wants to do it so you’ll have to stop it. You can’t force someone!! 😂🤣

YABU just say your not doing it anymore, if the PTA try to contact you tell them your not doing it and if they still contact you just ignore them. You don’t have to do it!

Ooh an Assistance Panda. You could put my name down for that, ill
otder the bamboo now!!

I always loved the class teddy too they always enjoyed the pamper sleep over & laundry service.

Our school is like a parallel universe! Not only do we have class reps but people jostle for the position!

Happy to let them get on with it!

I couldn’t agree more. Now both my DCs are at secondary, I can look back and see how stressful and unnecessary it all was. Our primary school took parental involvement to a ridiculous level. I remember when the DCs were in Years 6 & 4 remarking to DP that I might as well give up all my annual leave to school commitments.

WTF is a class rep?

Do you mean your the self apointed busybody who does all the shit no one asked for or wanted doing?

There was always one or two parents like that, took it upon themselves to constant organise 'class' gifts for what ever they came up with and we could all see through the fact the where ripping us off (yeah 30 people give you £5 but the person got a bunch of flowers, an poster frame with a sheet of paper signed by the 30 kids and some mid range chocolates - no where near £150 worth).

Just stop doing it, most people fucking hate that parent anyway... we are capible of choosing our own gifts within our our priorities and budgets.

I want an assistance panda.

Goodness, just say you're stopping as if end of term. I've seen 2 dc through primary and work in one. Never heard of a class rep. If no one takes it up then it's not the end of the world!

No one has volunteered because they too have busy lives. All this silly extra stuff we are expected to do is ridiculous. Just stop doing it, if the PTA contact you, you just reply sorry, no longer available.

I have a child who's been in school for 11 years now, and I have no idea what a class rep is It's definitely not a thing around here!

Just don’t have one, we are a fairly small rural primary 20/25 in lower school year groups, 15/20 in upper school year groups (we have a private school nearby and by Y5 most go to there) and This is the sort of thing that would get suggested every now and then but nobody really wants to do it as quite a lot of the parents have professional careers, not many are SAHP’s.

Agree that it sounds a bit OTT. Why do Mums who've had a baby need a class present? Does everyone chip in? I mean, teacher gifts is one thing (some pick and choose with those, even) but I can't imagine adding to a kitty for some cliquey Mum I'd rather avoid at the school gates just because she's had another baby!

Maybe ask if the class want it all to continue or if they'd rather it be paired down, going forward?

Also agree that you should just give a date of when you're stopping doing it then stop.

I can’t believe how judgmental you sound, for reference I am a mum of one child and don’t work, but my child has SEN and I have a complicated family set-up with care and other responsibilities that I shoulder on behalf of a disabled parent.

Your assumption that mums like me are lazy and have nothing better to do is laughable. If you drew my name out of the hat I would tell you to bugger off!

What's necessary the PTA should do.

The rest of it sounds excessive.

But the issue is that if I 'just stop' which I get is the main advice, then the PTA will just continue to contact me for all this stuff.

Keep replying with 'sorry I'm not class rep anymore' each time

Our school has class reps, each class has 2 reps and they form the PTA.

This is a blinking contest. Send a reminder again in a couple of weeks and then one at the end of term "just a reminder that I'm stepping down as class rep at the end of the year. If anyone is interested please contact xxx."

Right now people think you'll cave and do it again so they're not volunteering but once it's clear you're out they might rethink.

This

This

Just say you’re done!

Yanbu.

You know what they say - if you want something done, look for a busy person. They will get it done.

Same at my school. The busiest working parents are the same ones who agree to go along for school swimming because no one else will (knowing it gets cancelled if there are no volunteers), while the SAHP stay silent. It's the busiest parents who agree to be governors. Who fill in to play piano for the musical when the music teacher gets Covid. Who find time to get into school on special occasions to tell the children about their religion. Etc etc.

I've tried "stopping doing it". It meant a trip had to be cancelled because no one would go & help.

Unfortunately though OP, you can't make other people get off their arses and contribute.

I strongly disagree with these responses and think you should definitely draw names out of a hat. And then report back here on how it goes.

I presume mums who had only one child deliberately chose that path so they wouldn't have to do pointless busy work. As for the preggos not getting any presents... so what? Let them buy their own stuff. Better than forcing people to volunteer.

I’m shocked so many schools don’t do class reps. They are definitely a thing at ours and I thing it is part of why our school has such a strong community feel. From reading MN it seems not everyone wants that but around here people love it and it is part of why the school is so sought after.

That being said OP, you do not have to keep doing this job. Just tel othe PTA and the class you are done and if they email you remind them you are no longer doing the job. It’s as easy as that.