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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think class parents need to do more?

275 replies

annoyedatotherparents · 15/06/2022 18:37

Probably will get told that people have their own lives, everyone's busy, etc etc.

But am seriously annoyed today. I've done two years of being a class rep at my DS's school. Primary aged kids, but pretty minimal work - organising vouchers for teachers at Christmas, occasional presents for class mums who've had babies, organising volunteer rotas for two fairs a year (Xmas and summer). The kids are getting older so there's minimal reminders needed and everyone knows everyone else now so fewer social things - people just hang out in the groups they like. So all pretty easy.

I asked around today as the usual pattern is for people to do two years as class rep then hand over to someone else. The class WhatsApp was totally silent...tumbleweed. Everyone appears to be utilising the Mumsnet maxim of no being a complete sentence. However....this will mean I end up getting saddled with it all again. And I have 3DC and a full time job. There are plenty of mums in the class with one child and no job. (Rich enough husbands to not need to work).

I guess my AIBU is - would I BU to just tell everyone I'm drawing names out of a hat? The competitive busyness thing is ridiculous and I'm sure everyone will have a tantrum if I do that but the alternative is me just putting up with it and that will drive me mad!

OP posts:
JLwac · 15/06/2022 19:11

*You're

Furrbabymama1987 · 15/06/2022 19:13

Never heard of a class rep. Occasionally some parents take it upon themselves to organise a group present for the teacher. If they didn't want to do it, why put themselves forward for it? If you pulled my name out of a hat I'd tell you to do one, sorry. Don't be a busybody if you don't want to be one.

notsallyrooney · 15/06/2022 19:13

We have a class rep (PTA thing - not in America, and not a private school - every single class in our school has one) and a class WhatsApp. Someone else usually volunteers to sort a teacher gift etc though. It's super useful for organising volunteers for school fairs and reminders etc and occasionally the teacher will ask the rep to put a message out to remind about anything we need to remember.. or we use it to organise leavers hoodies or whatever.

One of my kids in secondary, and another in Y6, and we've had the same class rep the whole time tbh, it's not onerous. I would just carry on with it if I were you but certainly wouldn't be doing gifts, just pass on the PTA messages? Or if you really want to stand down can you go to the PTA chair and tell them you are standing down and they can ask another PTA member to do it.. (Surely you can't be the only PTA person in your class!)

(This says the person who is still doing preschool voluntary role despite my youngest being in y3 now 😳🤣)

Noisyprat · 15/06/2022 19:14

The world has gone mad. There is no need for this - gifts for Mums who've had a baby? Collections for this and that? This stuff never happened when I was at school and everything worked absolutely fine!

You're being so over the top OP making a drama out of nothing.

fairlygoodmother · 15/06/2022 19:14

My kids' school has this - you're not the only one OP! I've also done a similar thing for my son's football team.

I don't think it's on you to find the next person to take on the role. Get in touch with the PTA and tell them you're stepping down and they need to find someone else. Then they have no excuse for continuing to contact you about it.

PeekAtYou · 15/06/2022 19:15

Just tell everyone when your last day is and if the PTA contact you then say there is no longer a class rep. I don't understand why you think you need to do it longer than the standard 2 years? The school isn't going to crumble if there's no class rep

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 15/06/2022 19:15

I'm so glad there's none of this busybody nonsense in either of my children's schools. Have never even been in/known of a class WhatsApp group for my Y6 child. Life is full enough already.

Original poster
annoyedatotherparents · 15/06/2022 19:15

Grin ok, fair enough.... no names out of hats! Thanks Mumsnet massive. Sorry I crowbarred the private school question in, I thought it might explain why hardly anyone seems to have heard of the class rep thing! I will take the excellent advice given, tell them I'm giving up and if no one else takes over the poor preggoes will go present-less....

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 15/06/2022 19:15

Our school seems to function fine without a rep. Those who want to buy an end if year/xmas gift buy one, and the PTA sort the fairs (PTA being totally optional).

I'd actively avoid a "rep" so no chance I'd choose to be one!

Topseyt123 · 15/06/2022 19:15

Never heard of class reps before. None of the things you list are jobs that need to be done. Just stop it. If no-one picks up the reins then it will fizzle out and be no sad loss.

My DD1 was already in primary school when I had DD3. No presents from the other parents of children in her class, only from my close friends. It wouldn't have occurred to me to expect anything else.

CapMarvel · 15/06/2022 19:17

Ah, so you are the busy body who hassles people into donating for pointless collections that nobody cares about and which people feel obligated to contribute towards whether they can afford it or not?

Just stop doing it.

JuneJubilee · 15/06/2022 19:17

11Hawkins · 15/06/2022 19:02

Is this a private school thing? Grin

@11Hawkins

Sorry, what's the joke?

loafs of people saying they haven't heard of 'class reps' all 8 private schools I've been
involved with had had them. None of the state school I know have them.

why did you find my question so hilarious??

saraclara · 15/06/2022 19:17

Of course you can't just draw a name out of a hat and tell someone it's their job. Don't be ridiculous. It's not compulsory to do this, and you have no idea what's going on in people's lives. Imagine if you drew the mother whose parent is terminally ill and almost living at the hospital?

Just give a date when you're stopping, and sit back. It's not your job to find your replacement. If the school/PTA want someone to represent your class, then they take on the recruitment.

Leeds2 · 15/06/2022 19:17

My DD's primary school (she is now 24!) always had class reps, and they always struggled to fill the position. Once someone got lumbered with it, it seemed to me to be a job that you got stuck with whilst your child was at that school!

In your case, I would put it on the WhatsApp group, and tell the PTA, that you are standing down in September. Let the PTA do the recruitment of your successor. And if the PTA come to you with jobs just say that you've done your bit and it is no longer your responsibility. Don't give in!

saraclara · 15/06/2022 19:18

Ah, cross-posted. I'm glad we've persuaded you to just resign and leave them to their fate.

goodcall101 · 15/06/2022 19:18

Yes you are being unreasonable I’m afraid, and your attitude towards the other parents means that despite all your hard work over the two years, it’s possible they don’t even appreciate it. You might think you are being nice, and maybe that is the way they see it, but it’s also possible you are adding to people’s sense of guilt about not “doing enough”.

Soubriquet · 15/06/2022 19:19

We don’t have a class rep.

Not every school needs one.

Ncwinc · 15/06/2022 19:19

I love MN. Someone mentions something that’s not a universal experience and a dozen posters pop up to say that’s not thing! I’ve not had experience of class reps but they sound like a perfectly reasonable thing that some schools may choose to have. It’s not like the OP is posting about Yr 5’s Assistance Panda or reception through to Yr2 being off on the annual spelunking expedition.

Original poster
annoyedatotherparents · 15/06/2022 19:20

Assistance panda!!! GrinGrinGrin

OP posts:
thecatsthecats · 15/06/2022 19:21

To be honest I think all these reminders and events are symptomatic of an overburdened and overinvolved parent-school relationship.

What families need is less faffy nonsense on top of school, not more. I work in the education sector, and the knock on burden of all this gumph is part of the teacher retention issue.

Hugasauras · 15/06/2022 19:21

If my name came out of that hat, the poor preggoes would be sadly disappointed.

CecilyP · 15/06/2022 19:23

I'm giving up and if no one else takes over the poor preggoes will go present-less...

Do they really need a present? That seems really weird to me. I can just about understand organising a teacher present to save mums doing it individually, but a present for pregnant mums? How on earth did that start?

MrsAmaretto · 15/06/2022 19:24

Wowsers, you pay school fees and have to do this?? Sounds hellish!

I’d just day I was stepping down at the end of term and refuse to engage further.

WGACA · 15/06/2022 19:24

Just tell the PTA you have done your stint and are unable to continue from September. They will hound someone else to do it in my experience!

Luredbyapomegranate · 15/06/2022 19:25

It's nice if you like doing it, but it's busy work - other mothers and teachers do not need presents from the class parent group.

The school fete I can see needs volunteers, but they dumped all the class reps and just called for volunteers twice a year you'd probably be fine.

Just let it go and do something more interesting. Tell the PTA you have a blah and can't do it anymore.