To think class parents need to do more?

[annoyedatotherparents]

Probably will get told that people have their own lives, everyone's busy, etc etc.

But am seriously annoyed today. I've done two years of being a class rep at my DS's school. Primary aged kids, but pretty minimal work - organising vouchers for teachers at Christmas, occasional presents for class mums who've had babies, organising volunteer rotas for two fairs a year (Xmas and summer). The kids are getting older so there's minimal reminders needed and everyone knows everyone else now so fewer social things - people just hang out in the groups they like. So all pretty easy.

I asked around today as the usual pattern is for people to do two years as class rep then hand over to someone else. The class WhatsApp was totally silent...tumbleweed. Everyone appears to be utilising the Mumsnet maxim of no being a complete sentence. However....this will mean I end up getting saddled with it all again. And I have 3DC and a full time job. There are plenty of mums in the class with one child and no job. (Rich enough husbands to not need to work).

I guess my AIBU is - would I BU to just tell everyone I'm drawing names out of a hat? The competitive busyness thing is ridiculous and I'm sure everyone will have a tantrum if I do that but the alternative is me just putting up with it and that will drive me mad!

Well you can't pull it from a hat because the person pulled would be within their rights to still say no and/or 'piss off'.

Oh god this has been an amazing Mumsnet AIBU experience so thank you - all you lovely ones who tried to be helpful and the nuts ones who went off on some v odd but hilarious tangents!
For the avoidance of doubt, preggoes was a joke (thought that was obvious but clearly not....) It seems everyone has fixated on the 'buying gifts for pregnant mums' thing - my fault, bad example as I think that literally happened twice in two years?! The main jobs are:

organising rotas for help at the school fairs

Organising teachers' presents at Christmas and end of year (so they get something sensible instead of 24 chocolates/wine and also to save parents having to think about it - they pay once and it's done).

Communicating between PTA/parents - reminders etc.

Attending PTA meetings a few times a year to feed back to classes what the plans are for the next term (events/socials etc for kids)

Nothing too onerous but equally some posters have hit the nail on the head with the idea of the inherent unfairness of people being willing to benefit but unwilling to contribute. If everyone thought like that....etc. Some of the 'god you sound hard work, I run a million miles from any kind of enforced school fun' lot - well if you're not taking your kids to the school fairs or coming to the socials then I guess fair enough (though shame....) but all the mums in this class are participating and enjoying, hence my annoyance.
It's a small class and I'm pretty sure no SEN children/ secret divorces/submarine deployments /other mad suggestions going on - everyone gets on fairly well and I think I'd know?! Though generally a good point that everyone is fighting a battle etc and we should all Be Kind. Especially to Pandas.

Not rtft and maybe I’m nitpicking but how come you’ve had 2 fairs a year to organise when your 2 years ‘tenure’ have spanned the period of the pandemic? Our primary’s fairs only started back up last Christmas.

Anyway, as others have said, you can just stop. Sounds really self-important to take on the role of having to appoint a successor. You’re not Elizabeth I.

Just don't volunteer. Last year (Y3) we had two reps this year (friends who shared the same role) we don't have one this year, but someone did organise the Christmas and engagement collection. Teacher is fab, but most children in the class are the 2nd/3rd/ 4th child so we are less enthusiastic. I always use to volunteer but am very last min at the moment. I was class rep for middle DC in Y2 (they are now in Y7) and it stressed me out! They will be fine without a Rep.

You’ve done 2 years just say you are.out at the end of term. I don’t know why so many posters have said they don’t know what it is. I was one and it was bloody hard work actually. I’m not doing it again any time soon. In schools with a very active pta there is often a lot to do.

can you suggest splitting ut out so there are a few parents that share rather than just one person. It’s too much otherwise.

Glad you’ve decided not to draw names. I got drawn for a shift at one of our events and it really pissed me off. I had to say that actually I wouldn’t be there because I was working so while they may have drawn my name it was pointless as I wouldn’t be there.

I get it - you were bothered enough about these things being done and about having a pleasant community to take the role in the first place, so you're still bothered enough not to particularly just want to drop it and have no one helping with this stuff. Really nothing to do with any delusions about being royalty. I remember being in more or less this situation, actually, and I think I asked a few likely-seeming people who tended to come to stuff individually and it was fine, there were willing people. Easier to keep your head down in a group.

And I agree with two people doing it together. Less to do and someone to moan to when PTA or other parents being annoying.

🤣

You reminded me of the time I was a very reluctant class rep. It was for dc#2, and my fellow rep was also dc#2. We volunteered because there was no one else and did what we had to do, but neither of us was keen (we also both had dc#3 as babies too).
End of year R a couple of parents with dc#1 came to us and said would we mind if they asked to be form reps. We were polite, lovely and said good luck, very happy etc. And round the corner grinned at each other and said "thank goodness." 🤣

Well, week 2 of term all the parents got the first "monthly Tiger class noticesheet" with all the things they planned to do for the class that term. There was everything from picnic at the park for the children, through social events for parents, planned class birthday cards for the children etc.
Fellow ex-rep grinned at me and said "don't we feel inadequate!"

And then I don't think we heard from them again until November when we got a little note saying "sorry the half termly noticesheet is a little late, will be with you shortly". And I think that was it for the year. 🤣 They didn't stand the following year.

Most of the stuff in the list could be replaced by an email sent by school. Really not seeing the need for a rep. If you want to do it do it, if not say that’s it from end of term. Does class rep usually get a gift and you need successor to organise it.

Never heard of a class rep. Not exactly a necessary role so just step down. They’ll live without one.

I don’t know why so many posters have said they don’t know what it is.

Because we don't know what it is.

Sorry but I work full time. I was able to do drop off and pick ups due to being self employed. I really couldn't care less about some pointless volunteering. So what if the teacher gets 20 boxes of chocolates?

Yeah. I'm a teacher and a parent. This.

Our state primary has class reps.

Their official duties are setting up a class WhatsApp and relaying messages from the teacher to the WhatsApp. (And unofficially they also do a teacher present collection and write a card with the names of everyone who gave money.)

I have no idea why the teacher can't just group email the parents those messages directly, but frankly the school is so bad at communication in general anything helps.

Its completely separate from the PTA and volunteers for the fete stalls, which is done via a Facebook group.

So glad we don't have a class rep. That would piss me off, no end. Organising presents for mums that have had babies? Fuck off. That's nothing to do with me.

Idon’t know why so many posters have said they don’t know what it is.

because most/many schools don’t have them, so of course people don’t know what it is.

If I had a parent organising my child's thank you gift to a teacher I'd be really annoyed. It sounds a bit ott. Why does there need to be a communicator between PTA and staff? Surely the PTA just email staff?

Is this a worry that when you stop, if no one picks the role up it therefore devalues your role and makes it look like it was a waste of time?

I have one child and work part-time. I’d tell you to bugger off. There’s no need for all that, I’m happy with a quiet life.

You can't volunteer people for things just because you feel guilty about giving it up. I also think you can't comment about how busy you think people are. You can never know about people's other commitments.

I’d make a great class rep. I'd start by getting rid of collections for teachers and pregnant mums. If your child wants to give a present they can.

Then I'd explain to PTA they don't need a class rep to communicate to each class individually, use the school website /app/an email distribution list or any of the other technology available.

Then let the PTA get on with whatever it is they do and save them a job of managing the class reps 🤦🏻‍♀️

Just wanted to add a class rep appreciation post, as it seems to be the minority view here! The (state) primaries in our area rely quite heavily on the role; there are usually two per class, the school doesn't recommend anyone with a full-time job attempts to do it, and suggest that ideally different people take it on each year.

The reps coordinate with their class teacher to organise parents to come in and assist with reading, cooking, escorting the class to swimming lessons, school trips etc, and with the PTA to coordinate the class involvement in whole-school events like annual quiz, fireworks night, kids' film night, disco, summer and Christmas fair.

I had no idea that class reps weren't a UK-wide thing; you learn something new every day. Our kids' schools would struggle to provide as much extracurricular stuff / extra funds for the kids without the reps doing that coordination job, and the many many other parents who then help on a regular or ad hoc basis. Total cliche, but it all also adds to the great sense of community that the schools have.

So OP, good on you for taking on that role for 2 years. I agree with the majority though on:

1. I'd be far less inclined to volunteer my time at a school if I was paying large fees, and I suspect I wouldn't be the only one!
2. Presents for other parents is just odd. Maybe someone did it for a close friend one year and the next rep thought it was a 'thing'??
3. Parent involvement in any extra-curricular activities is entirely voluntary, both for you (surely the school should advertise empty rep positions at the start of the year, it's not your responsibility), and for others who may not want, or are not able, to get involved at all.

PS) I do actually know someone who did the 'names out of a hat' thing to fill a parent rota for a big school event after no one volunteered. Let's just say it (understandably) did NOT go down well and the Head got brought into it...😁

It’s a made up job. The tasks you’ve listed could quite easily be done without a class rep. It’s not a role I would ascribe any value to so it’s not a role I’d volunteer for. My volunteer work is meaningful.

I assume there are plenty of parents in your school who feel the same. It’s also possible that some of them are busier than you, and even more committed to the community than you.

Organising teachers' presents at Christmas and end of year (so they get something sensible instead of 24 chocolates/wine and also to save parents having to think about it - they pay once and it's done).

As a teacher, I would love to get 24 bottles of wine! (Would also love to just have 24 children in the class). But I can assure we are not in it for the gifts. A card (or nothing) is fine. Maybe private school teachers have higher expectations?!

This sounds similar to the class WhatsApp - am very thankful this wasn’t around when DT’s were at school. Totally unnecessary

And I have 3DC and a full time job.

Sure you do OP, sure you do

in any event OP, WHY DON’T ASK THE CHILDREN’S FATHER TO DO IT??