To think class parents need to do more?

[annoyedatotherparents]

Probably will get told that people have their own lives, everyone's busy, etc etc.

But am seriously annoyed today. I've done two years of being a class rep at my DS's school. Primary aged kids, but pretty minimal work - organising vouchers for teachers at Christmas, occasional presents for class mums who've had babies, organising volunteer rotas for two fairs a year (Xmas and summer). The kids are getting older so there's minimal reminders needed and everyone knows everyone else now so fewer social things - people just hang out in the groups they like. So all pretty easy.

I asked around today as the usual pattern is for people to do two years as class rep then hand over to someone else. The class WhatsApp was totally silent...tumbleweed. Everyone appears to be utilising the Mumsnet maxim of no being a complete sentence. However....this will mean I end up getting saddled with it all again. And I have 3DC and a full time job. There are plenty of mums in the class with one child and no job. (Rich enough husbands to not need to work).

I guess my AIBU is - would I BU to just tell everyone I'm drawing names out of a hat? The competitive busyness thing is ridiculous and I'm sure everyone will have a tantrum if I do that but the alternative is me just putting up with it and that will drive me mad!

Well you could draw my name out of a hat but I wouldn't do it. Absolutely no need for a class rep. I'm on my 9th year of having kids in primary school and there hasn't been a class rep in any of my kids' classes and no mention of needing one.

So this is a private school - not sure if that makes a difference?

Nope, not at all. If you've had enough, just stop. Ignore any further messages asking you to do things. What's the worst that's honestly going to happen?

You don't have to keep doing it! But don't draw names out of a hat. Just tell the group you're stepping down from x date. If it's an official thing that the school expect, tell the school they need to ask the other parents for a new rep. I can see the point of passing on important messages from school but there's no need for vouchers/new baby presents or any of that stuff either.

Im
amazed at the number of people claiming not to have heard about Class Reps?!?!

is it a private school thing?

if you don't want to do it, just say you're stopping on x date and are happy to hand paperwork over to anyone willing to take it over.

you wanted to do it, so you did, you have absolutely NO right to draw names out of a hat to TELL someone it's their 'turn'. I'd tell you 'no way' (on a good day, it might end in OFF on a less than good day)

who do you think you are???

you're showing your typical 'class rep' attitude. It's not pleasant.

Agree with everyone else.
We don’t have that role at our school and manage just fine.
Presents for class mums who’ve had babies is nice but totally unnecessary. Presents for teachers - people can do it if they want. We often club together for vouchers but usually someone just decides to message and ask people if they want to do it, it doesn’t need a designated organiser!
Volunteers for fairs - that’s down to the school or pta if you have one.

I assume this is a school thing and each class has one? If no one wants to do it that’s their problem not yours. Just let your WhatsApp group know you’re not doing it next year and let the school know there isn’t one.

No one is obliged to take on a role like that or justify why they don’t want to do it.

You don't need to do it. Tell the PTA you're not involved anymore. Simple.

You certainly don't get to dictate that anybody else should do it.

Is this a private school thing?

OP my DD’s school also has class reps and I find them extremely useful for all the reasons minipie mentions. Organising class presents is brilliant, easier for the parents plus the teacher usually gets a couple of hundred quid of vouchers for John Lewis or somewhere instead of 20 mugs/boxes of chocolates/whatever.

I think in your position though you’re just going to have to say that you’re stepping back, thus leaving the class without one, and then hopefully someone else will realise that it was actually really useful having one and will then step up!

I figured it was an American thing tbh. My oldest is in secondary school never had a rep. Would always be a parent or two who would try and sort a end of year collection but a lot just did their own thing. PTA does events, we don’t give random gifts for babies unless the person is actually a friend not just another mum from the class.

Just quit.

Does anyone actually want or need the stuff that you have taken on? Tbh, none of this sounds particularly useful (with the exception of the rota for the school fayre). People may just be happy to not have a class rep.

Just stop, and make it clear you'll do nothing with the messages. People don't step up unless they have to, if they think you'll just carry on, they'll let you. The next time there's no collection 3 days before the end of term someone will sort it.

Just stop doing it. If the school needs there to be a class rep for the odd fundraising occasion, then they will ask for one.

Someone in the parent group being willing to organise vouchers for teachers and congratulations for new babies is unnecessary. I say that as someone who has been a very grateful recipient of teacher collections many times. Parents will take it in turns to organise collections or they’ll sort out their own gifts or they’ll decide not to bother, and that’s all fine!

Not a thing at our school. Whoever remembers its forest school and can be bothered too will put a reminder on WhatsApp.

Gifts for Mum’s with babies - why? Completely unnecessary!

Sounds like a massive amount of micro managing of other parents!

I don’t think it makes a difference that it’s a private school. My DCS were at a state primary and we did have class reps. In my eldest’s year group I think we managed a rep - or sometimes 2 - for every year from Reception to Year 6. In my youngest’s, the parents were less involved and there were plenty of years where nobody stepped forward. I can’t say I noticed much difference to be fair. Each year had cake sales, the school fairs still happened, etc.

Just stop. Don’t be a martyr about it, step back and let the vacuum sort itself out.

If you drew my name out and announced I was the new Class Rep for 2 years I’d delete you on social media to avoid telling you where to stick it. You can’t just volunteer strangers for tasks.

Yeah no class reps in my kids school but a mum who regularly informs the rest of us about cancelled clubs and pe kits. Basically repeats the information that the school has sent us which is pretty annoying and completely unnecessary.

Have never heard of a class rep. Just say you aren’t doing it and let the PTA know that no one has come forward to offer.

As someone who is heavily involved in our PTA, you need to accept that some people just are not willing to do any of that stuff. We’ve got a fab bunch of PTA members at the moment but at other times we’ve had hardly any.

People are happy enough to constantly get something back / benefit from other peoples generosity. But they won’t always be willing to repay it.

We don’t have a class rep but the same person is always willing to do teacher collections. If she didn’t do it, people would just need to organise their own gifts. But people are glad that she does.

If you aren’t the rep, people will need to sort their own gifts. Simple.

YABU I'm afraid. It's not actually a role that's needed? My DC's school don't have them and we still manage to organise end of year teachers gifts. Organising gifts for new parents is a bit odd, I don't know most of the parents well so wouldn't be interested in contributing to that if I didn't know them.

Just say you're stepping down as you've done 2 years. Whatever happens next isn't your problem.

It's easy to get caught up in these things as being a big deal but at the end of the day they're not really.

Just step down. Our class doesn’t have a rep but somebody steps up to do the xmas or summer teacher collection each time and the rest of the stuff isn’t important. I’ve done the collection twice but can’t guarantee I won’t be overwhelmed with work next time (I’m freelance and work load varies) so won’t agree to be official class rep.

As for drawing names out a hat that's silly, you can't tell other parents what to do?!

Every class has a class rep at dds school..they help with the fundraising and managing what'sup groups. Liaising between the teacher and parents plus general reminders. At the beginning of the school year people put themselves forward.

I think you should not engage by not replying. You can do that. If not learn to be assertive .

Don’t be such a bloody martyr😂. God knows how my kids managed to get through 15 years of pre school and school without ever having a class rep😂

If the PTA keep contacting you just keep replying with the same message “as previously advised, as of x date I am no longer class rep”. Rinse and repeat

Your one of those people that asks me to cough up £10 at the end of every term to buy the teacher a gift, aren't you? Yes we have one of those. You can't just pull a name out of a hat and force someone to be a class rep! Just step down like others have said and stop doing it.

Gifts for new babies of class mums? Heard it all now. No offence to you OP, but maybe they don't want a class rep because it puts an end to that kind of thing.