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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘Telling off’ from a teacher?

111 replies

Thistledew · 14/06/2022 21:42

DS is in year 1.
Summer born so not yet 6yrs old. He is being investigated for potential ADHD.

He was the last one out of the classroom and then had to go back in because he had forgotten his water bottle. His teacher stopped him as he was finally coming out and told him that if he had been paying more attention and not messing around then he could have been out of the classroom much earlier.

Would you think the teacher was being unfair and could have approached the situation in a way to better help DS learn?

OP posts:
KazzaN · 14/06/2022 21:44

Thistledew · 14/06/2022 21:42

DS is in year 1.
Summer born so not yet 6yrs old. He is being investigated for potential ADHD.

He was the last one out of the classroom and then had to go back in because he had forgotten his water bottle. His teacher stopped him as he was finally coming out and told him that if he had been paying more attention and not messing around then he could have been out of the classroom much earlier.

Would you think the teacher was being unfair and could have approached the situation in a way to better help DS learn?

Well was he messing around? Teachers get such a hard rap but she sounds like she WAS helping him learn!

kittenkipping · 14/06/2022 21:45

I'd think the teacher was there, experienced and knows more than me about what dc did it didn't do throughout the day. Doesn't sound overly harsh or humiliating in any way, so I can't see the problem. Mountain out of a molehill territory

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 14/06/2022 21:45

Had he been messing around?

kittenkipping · 14/06/2022 21:45

*did or didn't do

rodham · 14/06/2022 21:45

Doesn't really sound like a telling off. What would you have liked the teacher to have said?

ComDummings · 14/06/2022 21:46

Most kids need to be told things in black and white for it to get through to them. Teacher sounds fine from your OP.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 14/06/2022 21:47

The teacher had a good point. Has your DS got used to you remembering everything for him?

FlissyPaps · 14/06/2022 21:47

Kids will have much worser “tellings off” than that.

If it has really affected him then you’re better off having a meeting with his teacher to discuss and make them aware of potential ADHD.

Hercisback · 14/06/2022 21:47

What?
He messed around, got let out last, teacher explained that's why she let him out last, and off he went?
If that's what happened I don't see how she's unreasonable at all.

12Thorns · 14/06/2022 21:47

Sounds like a telling off was what he needed TO help him learn.

why would you intervene with such an standard teacher/ pupil interaction? Nothing to do with you. Leave the teacher to do their job

AppleKatie · 14/06/2022 21:48

Yabu

She was pointing out the incentives for good behaviour. It doesn’t really sound like she even told him off.

teachers are allowed to chastise children, even if they might have adhd.

pilates · 14/06/2022 21:49

Oh dear you don’t like your DS being reprimanded.

Get a grip.

Dahlly · 14/06/2022 21:50

She was helping him learn. She was explaining to him that he was the last one to leave because he had forgotten something.
If he doesn’t want to be last and wants to be out running around with his friends, then he will have to try and remember to organise himself.
I understand that being organised may be something he struggles with but he will still have to learn. He has 12 years of school ahead of him. He needs to take small steps now. With your help, trying to find a system that works him.
I think you’re being a tad sensitive, this is a good opportunity for him to learn. Taking responsibility and being organised is key to success at school

Basilbrushgotfat · 14/06/2022 21:50

Blimey, that's your idea of a telling off? 🙄

Confrontayshunme · 14/06/2022 21:51

ADHD or not, 6 year olds mess about a LOT. I dread to think what some of the kids in our class would say! I would assume that lining up for lunch takes at minimum, 5 minutes, and he will have had multiple reminders to get his bottle. Even with SEN, we have had at least 150 days of school in which to practise already. Yabu.

moita · 14/06/2022 21:51

My sons just turned 5 and I say that to him when he comes out with his book bag (regular occurrence!!)

Vallmo47 · 14/06/2022 21:52

Maybe your child was messing around prior to collection and you weren’t there to see? Either way, this kind of thing happens quite regularly and teachers do nag about it… I guess it’s a pet peeve after 10 times of reminding the class daily to bring their things out, and there’s always someone forgetting or not listening. Pick your battles Op :)

Starlightstarbright1 · 14/06/2022 21:53

My ds has adhd.. He is very disorganised..i would not of batted an eyelid if the teacher said that to my ds

mnahmnah · 14/06/2022 21:54

Total non-issue

pinksquash13 · 14/06/2022 21:55

Can you imagine if everything you said to 30 children in a day was picked apart. Anyone who's got/worked with kids knows they can test your patience. Sounds like an absolute non event to me. How do you know that's what happened?

RaaRaaLaLaLa · 14/06/2022 21:55

How is it unfair? Should she keep some other children who weren't messing around back so your ds isn't last?

RenegadeMatron · 14/06/2022 21:57

This is why I would never, ever, in a million years, be a teacher.

ZebraScarf · 14/06/2022 21:57

What would you like the teacher to have done?

Genuine question because generally children of that age will have been reminded several times every single afternoon to make sure they have their bags/letters/bottles. Some of them will have had their bottle actually put in their hand for them - only for them to drop it on the ground again because they've decided to join their friend in practising Spiderman poses on the carpet.

The there's usually a final reminder as they're coming out of the classroom door to make sure they've got everything. And still there will be someone who ends up coming back inside because they've forgotten something. It's incredibly frustrating.

If your son was messing about (and many children do) then the teacher was being very fair in saying what she did.

Benjispruce4 · 14/06/2022 21:59

Sounds like she was doing her job. He’d probably been told to get his water bottle earlier but wasn’t listening.

Azandme · 14/06/2022 21:59

YABU. IMO this is actually an opportunity for you to learn.

That wasn't a telling off, it was a clear statement of facts about actions and choices having consequences - which every child needs to learn. You may not like what she said but that doesn't make it untrue or wrong.