Aibu to carry on seeing this guy?

[Heelsoverhead]

I've been seeing someone for 4 months now. Not long but it's all gone really fast and we've even talked about moving in together soon. We've met each others families and we get on so well.

We live about a 2 hour drive apart but he's been staying with me nearly every weekend since we met I spent a week off work at his place. We speak on FaceTime most evenings.

He was a little dishonest with me when we first met, he didn't tell me initially that he had a baby., he was honest with me about this once he realised how into each other we were and that things were serious. His dd is 5 months old now but his ex won't let him see the baby. He broke up with her before the baby arrived because he just wasn't in love with her anymore and she was controlling and she's still bitter about it. She lets him see the baby then changes her mind. She sounds like a complete psycho.

Now his ex has actually found me on social media, she's sent me a message telling me that he's still been sleeping with her regularly, that he claims he still loves her and is having unprotected sex with her. She says he's been messing her around and now she's supposed to have found out about me.

I don't know what to believe but my boyfriend said she's a complete liar and that she tries to blackmail him into staying overnight with her to see his dd, he's stayed on her sofa and nothing happened.

I really do love him, he's such a lovely guy he'd do anything for me. I've been looking at transferring my job to his town to move in together.

He is having you on . Come on op. He walked out on a vulnerable pregnant woman just because he felt like he wanted more from life? Selfish selfish selfish. She is a pscyho? Yep another classic line from selfish men.

And he started seeing you when he has a newborn ? The guys an arsehole

Surely you aren't that naive?

I really hope you don't have kids!!
YABU to believe him so easily. Be wary. Pull back and forget any ideas about moving. Ask him to look at the messages between them and tell him you'll know if he's deleted them.

He sounds dreadful

‘A little dishonest’ lol, if that has been followed by ‘he exaggerated his height by 2 inches I would agree with you. But you are minimising his behaviour.

Who suggested moving in together? Was it him by any chance? Fair chance that he’s a fantasist, imho

She sounds like a complete psycho

Sure.

Are you really oblivious to all of the massive red flags waving right in your face? You be mad to ever speak to him again. He's playing you for a fool.

Run for the hills

I really do love him

You don't even know him.

I don't want to drip feed but she honestly sounds awful.

She got pregnant on purpose to trap him she told him she was taking contraceptives. Her family sound awful he dad attacked boyfriend once because she told her dad he'd hit her. She's actually hit him rather than him hitting her. I honestly think he just wants to be a good dad to his baby and she won't let him.

I've stayed at his place and they are definitely not living together.

I get that it all sounds so bad but he's honestly such a lovely guy, we have a laugh, he's been travelling to see me nearly every weekend, we've got so much in common.

You’d be a fucking mug to carry on seeing this man.

Oh yeah the old 'she got pregnant on purpose' excuse. Get shut

Do not invite this level of complexity into your life.

Definitely think you should end it.
My ex told me one of his exes was psycho, accused him of hitting her but it wasn't true.
I was with him for 4 years and didn't realise how he emotionally abused me. Eventually left when he threw me against the wall (first time he'd been violent).
Not saying he actually did hit her but he is obviously going to tell you what you want to hear.
I would be out of that situation straight away.

People on the internet can’t tell you if he’s lying or the ex is.

what we can say is based on what he’s told you, he has a young baby and an ex who says he’s sleeping with her. They broke up when the baby was born…

I would say pull back. Let it play out, see what happens with the ex. Do not move in with him and make sure you’re using protection

Oh come on op. Where are you getting these ‘facts’ from? From him (she’s a psycho? He sleeps on the sofa? Oh please!) Wake up and smell the lies - I wouldn’t believe a word he said. I wouldn’t necessarily believe everything she says either, but I would look at the facts - which are that he lied to you about having a child…. Not exactly a minor detail.. run far, far away!

I am guessing your boyfriend told you all this.

I'd be well rid OP.

This must be a wind up.

Set the bar a bit higher. Actually a lot higher

God it gets worse
open your eyes!!!

The ex is ALWAYS a psycho who prevents the poor bloke seeing his children. Ask him how things are progressing with the courts so he can have access to his child and see if you can find any evidence he is paying maintenance.

I'd bet he's not taken any legal advice about how to get access to his child and I'd bet if he's paying anything towards his child's upkeep it's nothing like enough.

Written down I can see how bad it looks.

We met on a weekend away so he said he didn't feel the need initially to tell me he has a child but once he realised things were serious between us he told me.

He absolutely wants us to move in together, he house shares with his cousin (he rents a room) so we'd live there until we're certain it's going to work out.

You do realise this is the absolute textbook script for a cheating arsehole who has left his partner while pregnant?

The “complete psycho” is straight out of the script. Even if he hadn’t abandoned his pregnant partner the fact he lied to you about having a baby is a huge screaming red flag.

Wake up and run for the hills. He is not a good man.

On the off chance that this is real, look up love bombing OP.