Attempted upskirting by delivery man

[upskirting]

Bizarre and shocking experience today, thanks to a delivery man working for a large well known delivery firm acting on behalf of a major U.K. retailer.

He "had to tie his shoelaces" three times in the 5ish mins he and his male colleague were here. I was home alone. Each time he moved uncomfortably close to me and then knelt on the floor and put his phone camera-up on the floor next to him. I felt uncomfortable but couldn’t believe that he was trying anything.

The third time I was in an area like a utility room, and he'd knelt in front of the doorway, essentially blocking me in... and then said, oh sorry, i'm blocking you! He moved himself but not the phone, which I would have had to step over or close to over, to get past into the main room. Fortunately I had the good sense to stay where I was.

AIBU that this man should lose his job? As should his colleague, who clearly knew what was going on? And also, WWYD now, if you were me?

The main question, were his laces undone?

Call the non emergency police number - I have found them very helpful in the past. They will take this seriously and you are not wasting time. (they asked if I was Ok, did I feel vulnerable, did I need victim support - and this was just over stolen bin !)
This man may have been reported before, or he may move on to other sex crimes. He sounds like a nasty creep, and it must have been a horrible experience for you

He will very likely have done it before and have stuff on his phone or computer.

Did you report that to the company?
What did they say?

I don't agree that it's just OP's word against his. OP's account is very convincing, and he's just some random man - no reason for OP to have made this up about him. A serious company would take this very seriously. What if they do nothing and in a week's time he sexually assaults a woman in her home? It gets into the press, and OP publicises the fact that she complained and her complaint wasn't taken seriously?

disgusting pervert-if you dont hear anything back go on twitter and tag them-i'll retweet for you

@SpringIsSprung1

urgh find your attitude disgusting

save your incredulous questioning for the actual perpetrator of the crime will you

omg poor you - please tell ocado if you haven't already

Anyone delivering furniture and concentrating on doing the job properly won't be faffing around with their phone. There's no reason for a phone to be seen unless perhaps an e-signature is required.

This. Most people carrying furniture in would not have their phone out. And a signature would be on a work device and I can't see anyone wanting to use a work phone for taking photos (unless he's very stupid). Sounds like it was something he had thought through.

Why are you blaming the victim of the crime? Do you ask rape victims what they were doing to be assaulted too? nasty

Because escalating the situation can result in physical assault, rape or murder.

Not hard really to think why a woman trapped alone in her house with 2 unknown males might not want to try going Rambo on them. You say you would, but if it actually happened to you, you may find your response to be flight or freeze more than fight.

Stop fucking victim blaming

Stop fucking victim blaming.

Re: Victim Blaming

We have been programmed to be polite/not cause offense. It is well documented that many female victims of serious crime: rape and murder - succumbed partly through being too worried about upsetting someone (the perpetrator). and trying to assume the best in people.

People have
'gone in for a coffee' so as not to appear rude
'accepted a lift from a friend of a friend' as they were just 'being kind'
'helped a stranger' with something / pass me this/hand me that etc because they didn't want to be stand-offish
ignored being touched inappropriately incase they are 'mistaken and cause offense'

And on it goes...

All due to being polite.

99 percent of us would have reacted as the OP has done. BUT I have made myself get better at calling things out/saying 'sorry, no' and walking away from anything that sets my radar twitching - even if it might cause offense. It's fucking hard as it goes against everything I was raised to be: kind/polite etc, but we need to learn to do it.

OP well done on your actions so far. Sorry this happened to you and let's all stop being so fucking polite.

Not necessarily. If this is his particular paraphilia I'm sure there would be lots of evidence on his devices.

There can't be many women who haven't been perved on, groped, stalked, raped, intimidated, belittled by a man. I've experienced all of the above, yet we're just supposed to open up our single sex spaces to all of them?! There are actually women who campaign to allow this, with their "you can pee next to me" campaigns. And then others who are determined to victim blame. We are our own worst enemies sometimes.

awful. Please report it. Fingers crossed you get a good response from
police.

You were in your own home with a man who was attempting to create and then probably distribute pornographic content without your consent, made you feel incredibly uncomfortable and unsafe and hyperaware something wasn’t right.

you were lucky, by being OK, alert and able to get him out. Other women may not have or may have already reported him but there isn’t sufficient evidence. Your complaint could be the next in a chain of evidence in getting the pervert dealt with appropriately.

I’d pull out all the stops and report to all appropriate authorities…company, police etc. No mercy on this one and hopefully a lost job and some sort of sex offenders record will stop him getting another one. Unforgivable behaviour.

Shocking. Not everyone would cotton on what he was trying to do either.
I was once asked to step outside while a delivery man took a photo of me holding a parcel. Like an idiot I did, he then looked at the photo, said "nice" and winked at me. I was so shocked I did absolutely nothing.
The next time I opened the door to find him there he said "Hi (Dgtrs first name, that he had read from the parcel), how's my fav bored housewife today". I rang the depot after that and he hasn't been back.

Please report to the police OP

Well the delivery company called me back and asked me a question about the man’s appearance… however the descriptor didn’t match either man, so not sure what will occur now! Hopefully they get the right person. They said they wouldn’t be able to update me further, but are taking it very seriously, apparently.

How can the company not know who was delivering your item?

Well, quite. I’m going to follow up, as I’m a bit concerned there’s been some confusion and this will disappear quietly behind the scenes.

That's a fob off if ever there was one. They should know who delivered your order, of course they're said they will not get back to you because they'll do nothing so nothing to report back.

Time for the police.