Attempted upskirting by delivery man

[upskirting]

Bizarre and shocking experience today, thanks to a delivery man working for a large well known delivery firm acting on behalf of a major U.K. retailer.

He "had to tie his shoelaces" three times in the 5ish mins he and his male colleague were here. I was home alone. Each time he moved uncomfortably close to me and then knelt on the floor and put his phone camera-up on the floor next to him. I felt uncomfortable but couldn’t believe that he was trying anything.

The third time I was in an area like a utility room, and he'd knelt in front of the doorway, essentially blocking me in... and then said, oh sorry, i'm blocking you! He moved himself but not the phone, which I would have had to step over or close to over, to get past into the main room. Fortunately I had the good sense to stay where I was.

AIBU that this man should lose his job? As should his colleague, who clearly knew what was going on? And also, WWYD now, if you were me?

Yeuch, what a horrible thing to happen to you.

I agree with all those telling you to report. His colleague may not have realised what was being attempted (Maybe would have thought “this is a bit odd”), or maybe he was encouraging it, who knows. That’s up to their employers and the police to work out.

I cried when I read this. OP I’m so sorry this happened to you. Hasn’t it come to something when we’re safe at home getting a fucking furniture delivery to make our home nicer and get sexually assaulted.

the trouble with “hitting a man back” is that they get up.

I hope you get a resolution for this. I must be a “wimp” too because I hate strange men in the home because you just don’t know what they’re capable of.

Come on op. Why did you not karate chop him and undertake a citizens arrest? What were you thinking?

some of the earlier responses were enraging! In the rare occasions I have been in a bad situations my response is to just freeze.

I'd put it on Twitter and @ the company. They hate being exposed on social media. Put that they clearly aren't taking it seriously too. If you don't want to do it under your own name, create an anonymous account.

Op that’s awful. It sounds unnerving and does come across as some kind of pre planned confidence trick. I wonder what else these two have been doing? Even without the evidence on the phone, their behaviour is very worrying given they must deliver to a lot of women home alone.

Do you or any of your neighbours have cctv ?
Usually a company will have a log of which van/lorry has been assigned to an employee . If you can get the registration number or the fleet serial number it may get acted upon.
(FWIW I used to work for a utility company and when we received complaints about field staff and bad driving there was little we could do unless we had one or both of these).

Thank you for posting. You did women a service to share this, so we are warned and prepared. As you said OP, now you have to wear trousers to have a delivery!!!

You handled yourself very well in a confusing and abusive situation.

Would you create an email trail, outlining the facts and how you felt, to the head of his company, his HR and PR? Include that you reported it to the police. If they don't help, you have the option of going to the media? Whatever you decide to do, it is your choice. I am fuming this entitled man tried to violate you in your own home. Best of luck.

Yes he should loose his job but I'm not sure how you could prove it I'm not sure his colleague should though. It sounds like he didn't do anything and how could he even stop him

this, it's his word against yours really.

I'd put it on Twitter and @ the company. They hate being exposed on social media. Put that they clearly aren't taking it seriously too. If you don't want to do it under your own name, create an anonymous account

over what though? Technically nothing happened. I also don't think you should use the actions of 1 person to damage the company many others work for.

I would have accidently kicked his phone across the floor. Accidents happen and all that, he should put his phone else where.

That's horrible. I'm glad you've reported to the police. Don't let anyone try to minimise this!

Op I think you handled yourself perfectly in the circumstances. Had you tried to smash his phone or gotten violent in anyway, the odds of 2 or even 1 man against you would not have worked in your favour. As said before if you get no response from the company, social media is the best way to get a fast response.

Why did he even leave his phone on the floor to start with ?
Surely he should be doing his job delivering stuff not walking around with his phone in your house .

Just stop it.

It would be hard to believe what was actually happening in the moment. Definitely report his odd behaviour.

Agree with this in spades.

And thank you, OP, for troubling to post this thread and tip other women off about it. It's a depressing but necessary reminder that even in our own homes we need to be vigilant.

When you see victim blaming, remember that it's the blamers problem, not a reflection on the victim.
Victim blaming is a response to a scary situation, people want to rationalize it as something that wouldn't happen to them as a psychological defence. So they try to work out whether what they thought they would do in the situation would prevent it.
Ultimately they are making the victim's situation about themselves instead, which is the opposite of what the victim needs. But these situations scare people enough that they also struggle to deal with it.
Ultimately the more this is talked about the better, so thanks to the OP for posting.
Take care.

I believe you OP.

I also don't think Id have done anything any differently.

If i have two big men (and these delivery men are normally pretty big) I would not have confronted them.

Hopefully this will be followed up and they can look at the contents of his phone to see if he's done this before. It's really fucking depressing and I hope you are ok.

Please report to the police . My dd's friend worked in a branch of H&M the security guard was doing something similar with staff and customers , the girl was horrified to find he had pictures of her on her phone she knew nothing about . He was convicted .

I have to wonder how many of the "why didn't you stand on his phone" types have ever actually stood on a phone or if they've only seen it in movies.
As a very clumsy person, I can hand on heart say it would have done shit all and he probably would have got a shot up her skirt as her leg came towards the phone.
This thread makes me sad. If women can't support another woman who has been the victim of an attempted sex crime, who will support us?
OP I hope something comes of it but I fear you're right and that the police/company Twitter account will do shit all unless somewhere major picks this up like the DM.

Absolutely report to the police. It might be that he's been reported for this a couple of times and a red flag will be raised. A quick warning phone call from the police might stop him in his tracks.

But he needs to be on the police's radar and your report will do that.

Definitely report it everywhere including Twitter etc.

This is a link below is about upskirting law. Hope it is helpful. Please know that the police can fob off people initially, so going up the chain of command can be necessary, with an email log for evidence. I think it helps to know the law and your rights. If he has done this before, there will be evidence on his phone. Some serious crimes against women, the perpetrators start at a lower level and become emboldened, as they get away with, voyerism etc.

www.gov.uk/government/news/upskirting-law-comes-into-force

The victim blaming on this thread is fucking astounding.

OP I hope the police get back to you. Upskirting, or voyeurism, is absolutely taken seriously by the police. As others have said, even if he deletes photos, they can be recovered when they seize his phone (and other electronic equipment)

I would also report to police and to the company (DFS, right?) and blast it all over their twitter and insta etc. The person you report to might not take note, but another manager might see it and ask what's been done about it.

If his phone was checked, you might well find years of photos of unsuspecting customers. They might even be selling them online or something.