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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To veto DD's choice of decor

176 replies

ChewChewsBiscuitTin · 13/06/2022 11:16

DD is 4 and we're currently decorating her bedroom. She helped chose the colour and the wallpaper and is pretty on board and excited about it being done.

I had the bright idea that she could chose a couple of pictures to go in the wall so she had something that was entirely her choice. Anyway, the ones she has chosen are (in my opinion) awful, they also (objectively) don't go with anything else in the room.

Do I override her choice in the interests of taste or do I get over myself and let a 4 year old have what she wants in her own bedroom as nobody is going to see it anyway ?

Obviously I have attached pictures so you can make a reasoned assessment.

YABU - it's her room, stop being a bell end and let her have them

YANBU - they are awful, intervention is required

(This thread is intended as a little light humour, I will probably get the posters despite my better judgement)

To veto DD's choice of decor
To veto DD's choice of decor
OP posts:
seven201 · 13/06/2022 12:30

My dd is 5 and we recently decorated her bedroom. I would describe it as... random. Definitely not an Instagram bedroom. It's her bedroom though, and she is over the moon.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 13/06/2022 12:33

ChewChewsBiscuitTin · 13/06/2022 11:48

From the kids section of a website that sells prints and posters. I flicked through them all with her and they were the ones she liked, she likes crowns because of making them at nursery for the jubilee, I read the words to her but they don't have any meaning for her she just likes the crown.

Show quote history

I was also wondering about the crown one, and you've just dredged up a memory. Your DD is the age that I was during the Silver Jubilee in 1977 and we also spent ages making crowns for a competition at nursery as to who could make the best. Rules were supposedly no parental help Hmm I carried in my totally wonky, lopsided, partially chewed entry, and was soundly beaten by the winner who wasn't even allowed to carry her own entry as her parents proudly bore it aloft and kept reminding her not to touch it, darling, mummy's worked so hard... It was a brutal early lesson that "cheats never prosper" is a comforting lie.

Anyway YABU and I predict in 10 years when she's nailing up the latest hideous manufatured pop band you'll look back at the unicorn and crown all misty-eyed and nostalgic Grin

Original poster
ChewChewsBiscuitTin · 13/06/2022 12:34

ManateeFair · 13/06/2022 12:20

Haha, they’re terrible, yes, but it could have been much worse and you can easily swap them for something new when she grows out of them. They’re not permanent and she loves them so no big deal really.

When I was about that age I remember my grandad telling me I could choose any book as a present from a gift shop at a museum we’d been to and I ignored the children’s books and chose a field guide to fungi. I loved it. My grandad never forgot it!

A field guide to fungi - 😆 love it!

OP posts:
Ohtoberoavingagain · 13/06/2022 12:35

Wait until the room’s decorated then suggest she check again “ just in case you’ve changed your mind” But they’re fine really.

Joystir59 · 13/06/2022 12:35

I think they are both great.

slashlover · 13/06/2022 12:36

It could be worse, my mum and dad let my sister decorate her own (tiny) bedroom and ended up with this Rainbow Brite wallpaper on all four walls. Sister loved it though.

To veto DD's choice of decor
AnotherLongDay · 13/06/2022 12:37

My 10yo DD wants to paint her walls black, does this help put it into perspective? 😫

Newpuppymummy · 13/06/2022 12:39

Could have been much worse. I’d let her have them.

TheNoodlesIncident · 13/06/2022 12:39

I don't see the point of asking her for her input and then vetoing what she chooses, what sort of message would that give her? She'll likely want to change it in a few years anyway, and they're not the worst she could have chosen (worst in terms of being garish, clashing horribly with existing colours, etc). They look fine to me

My DS has put hand drawn stuff up around his room, they don't look great in my opinion but I have left them where he put them for years, as it's his room, his choice. I have a slight ishoooo with this kind of stuff, as my SF was horrible about our rooms when we were kids, declaring the rooms and all the contents as his to do what he pleased with. I still get a little thrill of delight when DS says innocently "my bed" or "my chair" as we were not allowed to say something was ours (well, we could, but believe me with the shitstorm that followed we knew better Sad)

So I do think children should be allowed some say in their décor, and to feel that their opinions are valued, even if not always implemented.

User3568975431146 · 13/06/2022 12:39

Don't dull her sparkles! It's her room, it's her choice 😄

wantmorenow · 13/06/2022 12:40

Let her choose - you will cherish her choices in years to come.

I still smile when I look remember taking my daughter to play group dressed in pink sparkly wellies, a flouncy party dress and a faux fur coat. Would never have chosen to buy those clothes but they were in a bag of hand me downs I was gifted and they were love at first sight for her.

Mortified at the time but wonderful memories now.

worriedatthistime · 13/06/2022 12:40

Let her have the pictures.

LateAF · 13/06/2022 12:40

AnotherLongDay · 13/06/2022 12:37

My 10yo DD wants to paint her walls black, does this help put it into perspective? 😫

That’s my nightmare as well- could you just paint one wall?

ChocolateHippo · 13/06/2022 12:41

I would let her have the unicorn one, get it in the smallest size possible, frame it in black and put it on the wall with the door in it so you can't see it as you look into the room.

The crown one...well...much as I think you should respect her choices, I might try a little diversion on that one. Tell her it's out of stock and redirect her to another picture including a crown?

ArtVandalay · 13/06/2022 12:42

Agree both hideous and the pink is nauseating. But you’ve let her choose so I think you have to go along with it.

Johnnysgirl · 13/06/2022 12:43

ArtVandalay · 13/06/2022 12:42

Agree both hideous and the pink is nauseating. But you’ve let her choose so I think you have to go along with it.

God, it's a four year old girl's choice. They like pink. It's hardly nauseating 🙄

Seeingadistance · 13/06/2022 12:45

Comefromaway · 13/06/2022 11:22

I love the message in the second picture!

Yup!

SoupDragon · 13/06/2022 12:46

You let her choose, you now have to live with that.

there's nothing wrong with those posters in a 4 yo's bedroom. Let her have what she wants!

by that age my DD was insisting on choosing her own outfits. At least this is just in her room.

skybluee · 13/06/2022 12:46

I mean they're for a four year old's bedroom not the lounge. I don't mind the unicorn one. Not really a fan of the crown but if she likes it who cares? I think another animal would go better with it but it's up to her.

frydae · 13/06/2022 12:48

How did a 4 year old manage to choose something you didn't like? At 4 you give her options to choose between. Where did she even find these things? Obviously the message on the 2nd picture isn't something she would understand but equally it's not something you should really be offering as a choice to a 4 year old.

Original poster
ChewChewsBiscuitTin · 13/06/2022 12:48

slashlover · 13/06/2022 12:36

It could be worse, my mum and dad let my sister decorate her own (tiny) bedroom and ended up with this Rainbow Brite wallpaper on all four walls. Sister loved it though.

This would have been my choice when I was 4 😆 DD has impeccable taste in comparison.

OK fine, the Rainbow Brite wallpaper puts it into perspective. DD gets the pictures.

OP posts:
FishcakesWithTooMuchCoriander · 13/06/2022 12:51

I’m also wondering how the 4 year old had them as options.

Equally, it’s just posters. Who cares if the 4 year old has crap taste?

TolkiensFallow · 13/06/2022 12:51

Awwww…I think if you’ve already let her choose then you have to get at least one (I’d go with the unicorn) as she’ll be super pleased and proud to choose. The trick with letting them choose is to present a range of acceptable choices in the first place…

mogtheexcellent · 13/06/2022 12:52

Its fine. Not brilliant but it could be a lot worse.

SIL bought a print for DDs room with 'inspirational' sayings on that I disagree with (basically you are a girl - like pink,be pretty and kind etc), fortunately DD is not bothered about it and SIL rarely visits. I now need that giraffe picture for DDs room instead to go with the Frida Khalo print she chose. Grin.

TokyoTen · 13/06/2022 12:52

Odd choice for a 4 year old in my opinion. But yes - if you said she could choose and she did then she has them.

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