AIBU to think drinking every day is normal?

[BitBehind]

Just that really.

I grew up in a household where both parents drank every night. Always wine with dinner and then sometimes gin or whisky afterwards.

They were never smashed. But they definitely drank every day without fail and often a little wobbly before bed. I didn't think much of it.

Now I always have wine in the evening. Soon as the kids (toddlers) are in bed it's my routine to come down and have a glass of white wine in the quiet at last. And then maybe one more with dinner. And maybe one more after dinner. Small glass. 3 max. I never go out drinking anymore so that's it. I'm never drunk but also would find it hard to not have that glass at the end of the day

Is this normal? My partner says it's definitely not.

No its not normal but I used to do it and normalise it and say I was fine. I haven't drunk more than 2 or 3 drinks a week for 12 months and I can tell the difference in every way.

Until a few months ago I had a large glass of wine every weeknight with dinner and 3/4 glasses on weekend nights. I stopped as I was gaining a lot of weight . I have alcohol free wine now with the very occasional glass of Prosecco. Also increases the risk of certain cancers in my age range drinking alcohol very regularly.

Met up with a friend from high school who invited me to stay for the weekend. When I got there, we had fizzy water with dinner, and I started to get a bit uncomfortable - was just expecting to have wine, I guess.

She tells me that she's an alcoholic and I had totally missed the signs.

Anyway, it acted like a mirror and really examined my drinking habits.

I will drink on the odd occasion like going out maybe twice a month, but other than that will drink some of the non alcohol replacements.

It’s not normal for me but I think I drink less than the average and have done for years. I used to work with a group of women who talked all the time about having a couple of glasses of wine after tea, and were forcing themselves (and often failing) to have some alcohol free days each week. They all assured me that when I was older and had kids I’d need that glass of wine every day. Lo and behold, now I’m their age with young DC and I still don’t drink much at all. That said they all seemed perfectly happy and successful without any obvious health issues so it didn’t seem to be doing much harm.

My in laws drink everyday but only have a glass or two a day. We try and only drink on a weekend as we can't stop at one. We have just finished up a second bottle of wine (so a bottle each) and will probably have a gin and maybe a Baileys later. We are going to the theatre on Thursday so will probably have a couple then too.

It's not normal daily on a long term basis, not 3 glasses even small ones. If you feel you need it, then you do have a problem. Nobody is critical of having drinks some days, it's habitually drinking that's an issue

Oh dear...
That's made me feel bad...
But not for long, I think I heard another cork popping.

It was normal in my family when I was growing up. My dad is now an alcoholic and has brain damage from this. I would also say that over the years, alcohol has destroyed the man he used to be. The only other times I have seen this as normal amongst families, at least one person has been alcohol dependent.

Thing is, my dad started like this. He has normalised it and won't accept it, or the damage it does. If I were you OP I would try to cut back mid week. Have a no-wine Wednesday. Then add in Tuesday, then keep adding in days until you just drink on weekends. At this stage, you'll probably find you can manage this and get back to a healthier drinking pattern. If you can't, then you've got more of a problem.

Soon as the kids (toddlers) are in bed it's my routine to come down and have a glass of white wine in the quiet at last.

What happens if you can't have that glass @BitBehind . Can you go a couple of days without any drink.
For the American health institute, with 3 drinks a day, more than 7 a week you are a heavy drinker www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-health/overview-alcohol-consumption/moderate-binge-drinking

Funny how in UK everyone is so crazy about the sun and the risk of cancer and completely disregards the cancer causing properties of alcohol.

It took me an awfully long time to give up smoking and I associated smoking with drinking, so stopped going to the pub and switched to tea at home. I will sometimes have wine when I'm out but I see it as a sugary treat (I like sweet wine) in the same way I see puddings - nice but not for every day. I normally never drink at home now; special occasion only. Same with DH. Prefer tea!

Nope not normal… I’m 37 grew up on rough estate still on same estate and seen it all… where we live your alcoholic if you drink everyday a dear friend was a drinker and he’s just died and he wasn’t even 40 year old :( I don’t touch it apart from 3 times of the year and then it’s only 1 glass to socialise and be Merry (christmas lol) xx

IMO alcohol is worse then heroin x

I guess it doesn’t matter if other people do this or not, it’s not very healthy to drink that much every day. I think you’ve formed a habit here.

Wow, I am really surprised at these responses. It is totally normally in our household. Enjoy!

I see alcohol as akin to a pitcher plant.

If you have the odd bit of alcohol, you probably won't get sucked in.

Drink enough though, and suddenly, you'll find that you have been lured unknowingly into the pitcher plant.

Once you are lured in, the only way to halt the descent is to abstain from alcohol. Some can't even manage to do that, and plunge to it's depths.

Where you are in this pitcher plant trap, I don't know. But I would recommend trying to be careful.

@BitBehind

I'm drinking a glass of wine currently (about a 175 ml sized for disclosure) and won't have alcohol tomorrow or Tuesday but will on Wednesday after choir practice, not on Thursday (driving) then Friday and Saturday definitely will. I'm no goody two shoes and do exceed the government guidelines - don't feel you are alone. We got into bad habits drinking gin daily during lockdown 1 but kicked it when I worked out I was exceeding 30 units some weeks.

Have 2-3 alcohol free days a week and stick to 2 drinks some nights, it will help

Well said @MrsTerryPratchett
EVERY SINGLE THREAD about alcohol someone pastes this phrase in.....almost as if they are trying to justify their own drinking perhaps ???

I'm not tee total, nor anti-drinking at home - indeed I have a glass of wine beside me now as I type - but aside from the health issues, and dependency issues, I am surprised how many people are saying "everyone" they know has a drink every night. Don't any of you go out anywhere in the evening ? I am regularly driving in the evening after I've eaten my evening meal.....either my own volunteering or hobbies, or dropping and collecting dc to theirs. Do none of these people ever go anywhere ?

Also stopping having wine every single night was really tough. I'm pretty confident I had a problem with it and I'm glad I pushed through a month off the booze all together to reevaluate it. I haven't had wine for 12 months and feel like I probably won't drink it ever again.

I got the 'Dry January' ap and I cant recommend it enough. I put in my baseline drinking (half a bottle of wine a night, more at weekends, plus a couple of beers) and it adds up how many units and money you save. Really inspired me to carry on.

Yeah sorry but your perception of normal needs reconsideration
And i say that as someone who enjoys a drink as do my parents and husband

I love wine but not every night no. Not normal. It sounds like your family have an alcohol problem.

Not normal in the slightest, and I say that as someone who loves a drink. I confine my drinking to one day a week, usually Friday or Saturday, depending on what I have on. I appreciate that probably amounts to binge drinking but it doesn’t sit well with me to drink every single day.

I grew up in a house where my mum drank every day, she can’t now as her liver is fucked. My husband drinks every night and no doubt his liver is fucked. The difference I think, for the surrounding people, is that my mum is a very mean drunk and my husband for the most part is a happy drunk. Both high functioning alcoholics

My parents drank like this. Gin and tonic before dinner, then wine, then my dad would often drink whisky after that. It seemed normal to me as a child and I did the same in my 20s. I only realised that it’s not normal once it started to catch up with me. Now I largely don’t drink at all except for special occasions.

Realising that they drank (and still drink) a lot put a different spin on quite a few childhood memories.

It sounds like you have normalised this amount. You are putting your health at risk if you continue this long term. If you are alcohol dependent, I'd recommend you seek help. Good luck.

Ask your doctor.