It doesn’t have to be like Christmas pudding - Super special occasions only, but also not everyday. There’s a lot of room between those two extremes, (and neither of them are normal). I mean, you don’t have a gourmet meal or watch a film every weeknight or just at Christmas, (do you?)
I drink in the week often. But then I often don’t at weekends. My job is way less taxing than my parenting responsibilities, so the strain of keeping the school night routine is quite a big one, and I’m much more likely to reach for a remedial gin after a difficult bedtime than on a Saturday night after a chilled out day.
I really shouldn’t reach for it as a reward (I’m just as bad with food) and one good thing about not being able to drink as much is I’m less likely to do that now. As DD grew and bedtimes got less stressful (and later) I also found that our evenings found their flow and weren’t such a struggle. Which meant less of a ‘thank fuck she’s finally asleep and I can breathe’ moment.
I think it would be healthier for me to DO something in the evenings sometimes! A couple of classes or catching up with a friend would be awesome. But I can’t, so what else does a single mum treat herself to at the end of the day? It must be cheap, silent, housebound and not too draining! It tends to be a slice of cheesecake, cheese and biscuits and a glass of port or a g and t (not all on the same day). I just feel I both need and deserve a little indulgent treat at the end of day. I try to do yoga, which I do enjoy, but it’s not the same).
I’d say do a dry month (February is better than January imho) and also pick a couple of nights when you do something else and have a reason not to drink. When mine was tiny and just slept in the car seat I met up with a friend and grocery shopped and had a coffee or went for an evening walk somewhere nice. And pre kids I usually had an evening class or a team sport fixture, too. Obviously harder with kids, but it’s as much about breaking the habit of automatically and ALWAYS reaching for it. I would say drinking four days a week would still mean wine is a pretty big part of your life. I don’t see that you must do something EVERY day for it to be a normal and defining thing.
Also, sooner or later your kids will need ferrying to various after tea things, so you might as well face it now…
(I think adults drinking Squash is a bit weird. I don’t know why, it just seems like something meant for children to me. Like ice poles or petit filous. I never drink it (hot ribena if I’m ill, but it’s full of horrible sweeteners now, so I don’t even bother then) I know loads of adults do, so no need to spam me, its just an illustration of what we unthinkingly internalise as normal.