AIBU to think drinking every day is normal?

[BitBehind]

Just that really.

I grew up in a household where both parents drank every night. Always wine with dinner and then sometimes gin or whisky afterwards.

They were never smashed. But they definitely drank every day without fail and often a little wobbly before bed. I didn't think much of it.

Now I always have wine in the evening. Soon as the kids (toddlers) are in bed it's my routine to come down and have a glass of white wine in the quiet at last. And then maybe one more with dinner. And maybe one more after dinner. Small glass. 3 max. I never go out drinking anymore so that's it. I'm never drunk but also would find it hard to not have that glass at the end of the day

Is this normal? My partner says it's definitely not.

Oh dear, I have wine, crisps AND chocolate most days, that makes me quite a failure on here 😔. However, an elderly relative lived til 95 and she had a g&t with a packet of Randy salted crisps at 6 every evening, without fail. No health problems til a year or so before she died, at least not alcohol or heart related. But obviously aware we are not all that fortunate.

I once would have thought it was normal but I don't any more. I only have a drink at the weekend now. I feel much better (and slimmer).

Ooh pass me the randy salted crisps @Asparagusluvva ;-)

🤣 *Ready not Randy 🤣

Exactly Asparagusluvva, my DM, 94 years old. Her standard lunch is a packet of crisps and a can of Special Brew and an evening rarely passes without either gin or a large sherry.

I agree that this is a really helpful thing to do. I know I need to cut back,. My issue is that I have zero willpower in the face of temptation, so if DH pours himself a glass, then i want one. But when we do Dry Jan, we both make a fuss of creating delicious non-alcoholic drinks to mark the end of the working day.

I just can't take drink any more. Two small glasses and I feel fuzzy-headed and drunk and lethargic. I need to learn how to say no.

Years ago I stopped drinking for a few months because DH was on medication and I didn't want to drink alone and I did lose weight. But we used to have a bottle a night between us (not every night). At some point we decided that we didn't really want that much so stuck to a glass each/half a bottle. So we drink about 3 bottles a week between us now.

However, I was shocked to see that that is around 12 units a week so still quite a lot and it's only one glass of wine a day and not every day. It's very easy to overdo it.

I eat crisps every day too.

It isn’t cool to drink wine instead of juice or water or vice versa it’s a drink

To be fair juice isn't good for you either as it's packed full of sugar. The only thing that is good for you is water. And that is super boring!

You've had lots of comments now but just to answer one of your points:

I absolutely love good red wine and could easily have a glass (or two or more) everyday. I often 'fancy' a glass with dinner. I resist because I know it's not healthy and because my relationship with alcohol is something I actively manage to avoid it becoming problematic. A weird phrase but accurate I think. In general I have a loose rule that I only open one bottle of wine a week (DH doesn't drink). Usually I open a bottle with a Friday takeaway and then it lasts however long it lasts - I have a vacuum coke think so it stays fresh. Usually I drink a glass or two on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Sometimes I'll drink a lot of Friday and hardly have any left on Saturday and sometimes I end up drinking a glass on Friday and then leaving it till midweek. Either way I don't open another bottle and that's that. I would happily let myself have 'extra' at someone's house for dinner or when out at a restaurant because those events are more unusual for me.

@BitBehind

well done on deciding to try to change your habits, I have some practical advice I wanted to share.

1. Try buying the smaller bottles like this, a bottle keeper is also good but can then be encouraging the habit that you will drink again the next day.
2. Try getting some bottles of the fancy fruity cider like this, its lovely cold possibly with ice. Drinking from a wine glass would give you 2 big or 3 small glasses as a change from wine, it's a 500ml bottle at 4% abv so the entire bottle contains 2 units and if you split it with oh a half bottle is just 1 unit.
3. Low alcohol wines have come a long way e.g. these 0.5% ABV wines you certainly don't sound like you're drinking in order to get drunk, so is it the alcohol you're looking forward to or a chance to knock off with a cold glass of something tasty?

Pretty normal for me to have 1/2 a night to be honest.

To me, your drinking is very much a European continental approach OP.

I was brought up in Southern Europe where it was considered strange not to have a glass of wine with lunch and dinner. Then after dinner a shot of something stronger is usually downed to help with digestion.

Children are often introduced to wine early. I had my first taste at six years old (diluted with water) at the Sunday lunch table. Then every Sunday after my first holy communion, I had a sip of wine in church.

i still drink a glass of wine with my evening meal each night.

if you are happy with it, aren’t putting at risk your own health or your family, then I say crack on life is too short.

I can see some harsh comments, so kindly yes you are drinking way too much. I think the problem is it’s your treat for surviving the day with kids/work which I totally get but it’s not healthy to drink so much. I love a good glass of wine but honestly don’t fancy it every day. Am not calling you an alcoholic but you have definitely normalised drinking so much that it’s a normal thing to have a drink with dinner, even if that’s beans on toast! Personally if I were you start with no drinks until Friday then it’s a weekend treat. I only drink every few weeks but there I’ll sometimes be a random Wednesday where I think mmmm I fancy a glass of wine in the bath! Like everything treats / things that are not good for you should be in moderation

I don't think it's normal, but I do the same thing. As soon as my toddler is in bed and the house is tidy, probably at around 8pm, I have an alcoholic drink. Would probably have half a bottle of wine every evening unless I'm working (shift work so when I work I usually work through the evening and that's a few days a week). I don't drink in the day time, it's more of a routine and evening relaxation thing for me.

I think that the wine feeds sugar addiction.

Whenever I look in the drinks fridge, I look at the wine and look at the gin but always choose the wine. I think it's the sugar I want rather than the alcohol

BMI about 19, exercise 5 days a week (running/walking/weights). I'm a very 'clean eater' apart from sugar in wine

It’s not that bad in itself but your partner has a problem with it and that is a red flag.

I think most people, if they're being really honest, would acknowledge that the longevity is likely to be in spite of rather than because of the diet and the drinking.

A friend of mine is a heavy smoker. She often used to defend her smoking by talking about people like this, who ate high fat food and didn't have heart attacks, or smoked and lived to 95, or who drank and have healthy livers. She took this as evidence that statistics and medical research are all bollocks. Then her sister, also a heavy smoker, died very suddenly of a brain aneurysm, something which is far, far more likely if you smoke. And suddenly she stopped justifying her smoking in that way.

She didn't stop smoking, curiously enough, but she did acknowledge that by doing so she was taking a massive gamble.

@toastfairy you give some good ideas on how to cut down alcohol intake on a day to day basis.

But for someone with a substantial, daily alcohol intake I was wondering if longer term the association between relaxing and drinking (as in drinking anything, not just alcohol) needs to be reset if the OP doesn't want each day to feel like she's having something 'second best'. As in if she's having a lovely mocktail but really wants a glass of wine - every time she has that mocktail will it be a reminder of the wine she's not having?
Genuine question, I don't know the answer myself.

I've never got in to the habit of drinking as part of my daily routine and so for me using drinks to e.g. 'mark the end of the work day' / 'kids going to bed' just isn't a thing. It's not that I'm thinking that I want a drink and denying myself, it just doesn't cross my mind. I don't see the attraction/fun of drinking while I cook/watch TV - I'd rather have a clear mind. I do like to have a few drinks when i have friends over/go out to the pub though. For me that's fun.

Every smoker has a great uncle who smoked 3 packets of fags a day and lived to be 105. Still doesn't mean that statistically it's a terrible thing for your help and wellbeing. Same with drinking.

YABU. That is too much. But even if you drank half that amount, if you still felt you couldn't do without it, that would still be a massive red flag. So it's the amount but also the addiction...... Both a worry.

The media might suggest that its normal, but it really isn't. Its not good for your long term health if nothing else. If you and your partner are both ''over the limit' then what would you do if there was an emergency that required you to drive one of your kids to a doctor/A&E? Bugger waiting for an ambulance these days - I tend to keep under the legal limit most days just in case (although my partner doesn't always do this). AS for weekends, well I just have to hope that nothing happens that requires driving anywhere!

I used to drink shedloads in my 20s and early 30s, but I was never a daily drinker. I don't drink much these days as it really doesn't agree with me. Half a bottle of wine a day is unquestionably bad for you and I very much doubt it's normal.

What I find annoying and kind of pathetic on MN threads about alcohol are the blatantly attack-is-the-best-form-of-defence posts from the people desperate to pretend their drinking habits are ok. A bit like DARVO. Pretending that 'on MN you're an alcoholic if you drink more than a thimble of sherry once a year' and the sneery 'I prefer to actually enjoy life rather than deprive myself and live in healthy misery to 103'. When it's perfectly obvious that literally nobody on any thread is suggesting anything of the sort. Make the moderate, reasonable people sound pious and extreme by making up their views.

I was talking about this earlier. My go's always had sonething with tonic/ginger ale an hour or so before their evening meal and wine with the meal. I don't think it's abnormal.

Get the try dry app. I recorded every drink I had last year ( started to help with dry January.) it was a very interesting experiment - eye opening!

Wow, there are a lot of boring, sanctimonious people here. You do you. I don't think you're drinking too much. And if it doesn't harm anyone else, there's no reason to stop. Life's too short. Enjoy yourself.