AIBU to think drinking every day is normal?

[BitBehind]

Just that really.

I grew up in a household where both parents drank every night. Always wine with dinner and then sometimes gin or whisky afterwards.

They were never smashed. But they definitely drank every day without fail and often a little wobbly before bed. I didn't think much of it.

Now I always have wine in the evening. Soon as the kids (toddlers) are in bed it's my routine to come down and have a glass of white wine in the quiet at last. And then maybe one more with dinner. And maybe one more after dinner. Small glass. 3 max. I never go out drinking anymore so that's it. I'm never drunk but also would find it hard to not have that glass at the end of the day

Is this normal? My partner says it's definitely not.

No, not normal to drink everyday. It’s a habit. Just like smoking a cigarette every morning.

Not ‘normal’ sorry but reasonably common in some circles. Regardless of who does what it’s above the recommended limits and you do not want cirrhosis. Also who has the money for a bottle of wine a night!

21 glasses of wine a week ? That's "normal" maybe in some cultures, but possibly a bit OTT in these times. Is there no other way of relaxing. I had a (female) relative who would drink 5-6 tins of beer a night and would think this was completely normal. She had a high stress job, and extra strength lager was the only way she could get suitably blitzed to block it out. Sadly, I think you've come here for reassurance rather than our opinion. I don't think a (small) glass a night is overdoing it, but 3 glasses a night probably is.

No it's not normal. You are in danger if becoming alcohol dependent..
Can you try and have at least two alcohol free days a week. And then gradually cut down to weekends only.
A friend of mine became an alcoholic without realising it, by telling herself she never drank before 8 and she needed that glass of wine to relax after a hard day with the kids. Gradually she needed more to feel ok and she couldn't cope without it. She became very ill.

Oh how I loathe that silly expression ", you do you"

The OP is drinking well above recommended guidelines.

As for "not harming anyone else"- yeah, right, alcoholics never impact on anyone else.

Very common amongst lots of my friends whereas others only drink on occasions. Whatever works for you!

Sounds normal to me. I know everyone else is saying the opposite but if that’s the case then I’m
not normal either!

Not normal.

My parents had a glass of wine or two on a Saturday night maybe. Nothing else.

We don't drink at home at all really, apart from Christmas and birthdays, and I rarely drank whilst out over the last 20 years. I could easily go 6 months between drinks.

Are you asking if it’s normal or if it healthy? They aren’t necessarily the same.

It’s neither in my opinion, but I am seriously pissed off that the menopause has left me virtually unable to drink, so I might be a lot jealous!

I rarely drink now, but pre-migraine era, I would drink most nights. But never every night, and average of two units. Maybe five nights out of seven. About once every three months I’d drink with others and drink a lot more; but it was rare. I’d say that’s healthy, but possibly not normal (as a lone parent I could never go out, so I was never driving or doing anything more interesting, which I assume most people do think f an evening!) I do miss it. Not the booze but the drinks. If you could take out the alcohol and the drink tasted the same, I’d be happy! It’s not worth the consequences, though.

I think the high end of normal, I know people that may have a glass of wine, but not 3. I vary rarely drink during the week apart from perhaps when on holiday, just have maybe a couple on a sat and sun but certainly not every week.

1 glass of wine with your meal = normal
3 glasses a night just because = not normal

I think it’s great you’re thinking about your health and lifestyle and are willing to be challenged on it OP!

I personally used to depend on alcohol for my ‘treat’ and like you, didn’t drink a lot but did psychologically depend on that drink at the end of the day. I found it helpful to gradually reduce the days (to 5 days a week, then 4, then only on Friday-Sunday) and replace with other healthier things on the days I wasn’t drinking. E.g. I run at 6pm on such and such a day (and then wouldn’t feel like a drink). I get that this can be hard with toddlers!

I found I really enjoyed the rarer glasses of wine as a result.

Well according to this I’m a raging alcoholic! But i love a glass of wine in the evening.. i fucking love it!

@wmch well life is probably going to be a fair bit shorter if you drink every day!

Sorry to be a downer too. If you need a drink everyday that is a problem. Try a week without drinking and see how you feel. If you feel rough that is alcohol withdrawal.
I gave up in January this year. Too many issues.
I started like you when the children were small. Twenty years of not being in control.
Also who drives if there is an accident?
I sleep so much better and I am nicer.
My parents didn't drink. I used alcohol as a coping mechanism. Join the af thread if you need it. Very supportive.

The media might suggest that its normal, but it really isn't. Its not good for your long term health if nothing else. If you and your partner are both ''over the limit' then what would you do if there was an emergency that required you to drive one of your kids to a doctor/A&E? Bugger waiting for an ambulance these days - I tend to keep under the legal limit most days just in case (although my partner doesn't always do this). AS for weekends, well I just have to hope that nothing happens that requires driving anywhere!

Whilst I don't agree that drinking every day should be normalised, I think the "what if your kids needed A and E? " argument is a red herring.
Especially as you've insinuated you might both drink at weekends.
I've needed A and E once in 16 years of parenting, but I don't not drink during the week "just in case". I prefer not to drink weekdays because its better for my health/finances/figure. And if anyone needed A and E on a weekend evening, I would find an appropriate way of getting them there. I'm not drinking so much I couldn't organise an uber, or arrange for a friend or neighbour to take them.

How are you doing this evening OP?

This was normal for my Dad. He was a functioning alcoholic but the older he got, the more the mask slipped. He died fairly young from heart failure - no idea if that was related to his drinking or not.

My brother went through a period of doing the same then realised how unhealthy it was. Now he and I both very sensibly (probably too sensibly for some, but that’s ok with me) - never to excess, never more than a couple of nights a week.

I remember HATING seeing my Dad drunk and I would never let myself get that way in front of DCs.

Wow, there are a lot of boring, sanctimonious people here. You do you. I don't think you're drinking too much. And if it doesn't harm anyone else, there's no reason to stop. Life's too short. Enjoy yourself.

You do know that it's possible to have fun and joy in your life without having alcohol, yes? All I've suggested to the OP is that she cut out the mid week drinking and take it from there.

Thing is, it can do immense harm. The OP probably isn't at that stage yet, but you don't become alcohol dependent because someone flicks a switch. It's often more of a gradual slide. And then at some point, actually, your whole family is worried about your health. I've known alcoholics spend thousands of pounds, racking up debt that has forced house sales. It can affect everyone around them. Their personalities change, or they become some kind caricature of themselves. None of this is fun. Wiping their arses because they've shat themselves isn't fun. Worrying about money because they've pissed it up the wall isn't fun.

Having a cold beer on a warm Friday evening can be great. Drinking every night so you slide into alcoholism not so much. Life really is too short for that.

@Tipsyturvychocolatemonster What a horrible display of ableism.

🙄

OP has asked if people think she's drinking too much. Why is it "sanctimonious" or "boring" to say that you think that she is?

No I don’t think your drinking is unreasonable. Try weed instead a few nights a week if you need to chill 😆

Typo! Hope your getting on ok Without a wine

You’ll be fine. If it isn’t causing you any issues then don’t worry about it. My pal who is a doctor once told me secretly that he learned in med school if you drink up to a bottle of wine a day you’ll probably be fine. It’s spirits that do for ya.