AIBU to think drinking every day is normal?

[BitBehind]

Just that really.

I grew up in a household where both parents drank every night. Always wine with dinner and then sometimes gin or whisky afterwards.

They were never smashed. But they definitely drank every day without fail and often a little wobbly before bed. I didn't think much of it.

Now I always have wine in the evening. Soon as the kids (toddlers) are in bed it's my routine to come down and have a glass of white wine in the quiet at last. And then maybe one more with dinner. And maybe one more after dinner. Small glass. 3 max. I never go out drinking anymore so that's it. I'm never drunk but also would find it hard to not have that glass at the end of the day

Is this normal? My partner says it's definitely not.

It's the normal for a functioning alcoholic.

My Father drank every night after work he was never fully present emotionally throughout our life.

That's hugely excessive

How you feel tonight will tell you a lot about where you are with this. Really listen to your feelings. Write down your thoughts. Hear me out on this. Do it.

It will give you something to sit down and consider moving forward. About how you really felt about going without the wine. And how much of a relience you've built up. You might, and I hope you do, find it really easy. If you struggle, I think that will help you see it's an issue and how much of one it is for you.

The alcohol free wines these days are surprisingly good - if you need something to drink that tastes familiar without such a health impact. It might help you wean off at least… My fav (ttc) is Nozecco.

Also not preaching, but yes. I've never smoked, keep my weight in healthy limits and exercise frequently to make sure that not only am I a healthy weight, but I'm carrying more muscle mass and have good cardiovascular health.

Feel free to disbelieve this and then make a PA comment that you don't mean me though.

3 glasses of wine a day is A LOT. Way too much, in fact. I can't imagine how awful you must feel, but you got so used to it, that you probably don't even notice it anymore.

Same as you OP

I was drinking 2-3 large glasses of red wine everyday, 1 whilst preparing dinner, 1 with dinner and 1 after dinner. It was a very nice comfortable but expensive habit. I genuinely enjoy a glass of wine with dinner and whilst watching TV/movie. Hubby would frequently join me and we could easily drink 2 bottles between us 2x nights a week. He works nights 3x a week.

However, this past May it all started to feel a bit too much, not only weight gain / health wise but the sheer expense of it. So I have cut back and I am going for at least 3 - 4 nights a week alcohol free - give my liver and bank account a rest. Will be aiming for some alcohol free full weeks over the summer and then to reassess.

Good luck OP

Don't drink
Quit smoking
Exercise 4-6 days a week for 30-90 mins
Overweight but nothing else I can do about that other than eat healthily and exercise

Why be so arsey? I believe you.

The amount of over weight people is getting really bad but they don't get slagged off. I'm just on another thread which is discussing weight.

Yes, OP know it's too much but again you get posters coming on telling them they are functioning alcoholics. No, they just to cut down.

I am a bit overweight but fit and healthy (and currently losing weight) and never got on with smoking. If I drank alcohol every day I'd have a lot more weight on me as I make poor food choices when drinking. If ever I have a phase of drinking too much I go on the Drink Aware app, logging what you drink soon brings it home. Plus I just feel shit and don't sleep properly! The advice is to have at least three nights off. I have two gin and tonics, twice a week (measured) which is about 8 units a week.

@VWBZ because you can choose whether to drink alcohol or not
You can't choose not to eat. And weight is complicated with medical conditions, ability to exercise, type of food, medication.. alcohol is drink it or don't

I've been to get a healthy lunch. A woman was putting a load of unhealthy food in her basket which is not my business but she was happy to have cake for lunch. She could have made a healthier choice.

I also went walking yesterday with a friend and I was really pushed and could have gave up but I didn't.

You can do this OP. My suggestion would be to do something different with your evening than you would if you were drinking alcohol. So if you usually sit and watch TV with a glass of wine then don't sit and watch TV tonight as you will miss the wine and it might feel like you're depriving yourself. Instead go for a walk, maybe do an online relaxation video, call a friend - anything really but just something you wouldn't associate with alcohol. Keep yourself busy. Brushing your teeth as soon as you're finished eating dinner can also signal to your brain that you're finished - then only water after that.

Today can be the start of a new healthier you ☺️. Good luck.

Good luck OP!

I absolutely love wine and prosecco and could quite easily drink it every day and thoroughly enjoy it when I do have it.

I chose to stop drinking during the week, and this is helped by having hobbies that I attend 2 evenings in that week. So thursday evenings and friday evenings I'm out at a martial arts class. I may occasionally have a glass when I get back on friday, but I'm usually too knackered 😄

I really think you should consider a hobby of an evening that gets you out the house. I work full time with 3 kids and martial arts help maintain my sanity. I go 3-4 times a week.

I stopped drinking in my late 30s after realising is what making my anxiety worse in the long run.

quit lit was me friend for much of that first year, I found it hugely inspiring.

I’d never go back now. The scales have been well and truly lifted from my eyes. alcohol is a poison , there is no way around it, and I don’t want to slowly poison my blood / brain / body so I won’t drink alcohol. Simple really.

And knowing I need to be at training at 9am on sunday mornings certainly stops me drinking too Saturday night.

I don’t think it is normal, but you grew up with it so have normalised it.
I have friends who drink a lot more than me & when I’m with them I drink more than I probably should (I can go a few weeks without drinking if nothing is going on that warrants it).
I listened to a podcast recently which said everyone should have days off from drinking in the week - and remember the safe limit us 14 units p/w which is only 2 small glasses of wine a night.

Sorry no it isn't normal, or good for you.

I used to drink every day. It became a daily thing during the first lockdown and I would pour myself a glass as soon as I finished work which without the commute meant I was drinking earlier/more than pre lockdown. I used to say tonight I will have a night off and after realising I kept putting that off and was having serious cravings decided to stop altogether. I stopped in July 2020 and said I would do 3 months which turned to 6 months and then a year alcohol free. It took a good few weeks for the cravings to stop. I now only drink socially and less than I used to. I never or at least very very rarely drink home alone. I also am inclined to buy low alcohol or alcohol free. I love wine, still do but am pleased to have broken the habit. Both the financial savings (approx £100 per month) and health rewards are worth it (I now sleep better and have less indigestion).

Oh and drinking socially for me is every few weeks on average, not weekly.

I've never smoked, never been overweight, exercised fairly regularly since my early 20s.

But a couple of years ago I "got in the habit" of drinking a G&T every night, then two, and eventually three double G&Ts each night. I stopped keeping any alcohol in the house, and just drank when I went out with a 3 drink maximum, but it really doesn't agree with me and am now trying to not drink at all.

The hard thing about not drinking is that if you are at a social occasion and aren't drinking, and someone notices that you aren't drinking, then will question why aren't you drinking?! Are you pregnant?! On antibiotics?! Boring?! An alcoholic?! I never mention that I'm not drinking or why, but someone always picks up on it and asks why, or buys me a drink and says "oh go on, just one!" (Looking at you MIL).

If I said I was on a diet I'm pretty sure I'd be left alone. But by not drinking it seems to rub people up the wrong way, probably because the culture around drinking to have a good time in the UK is so ingrained.

I don't drink very often because I work full -time and I have to be alert for work. At weekends I've to catch up on housework, grocery shopping, laundry, gardening etc. and I don't want to be rushing around trying to fit in everything with a hangover

But people who drink very regularly and have built up a tolerance for alcohol wont feel like they shouldn't drink because they are working next day, and won't generally have a hangover.....so that reasoning (unfortunately) doesn't neccessarily persuade someone to cut down. If you drink moderately or infrequently you probably would feel much worse than someone who drinks regularly.

I prob drink a bit too much at the weekends but usually don’t have any alcohol from Sunday through to Thursday unless I’m out socially. There was a time years ago when I drank almost every day - I realised I was self medicating as a result of an acrimonious divorce and stopped wine with dinner and other random drinking other than in a social context . You should try to cut back

OP, I think a lot of us have 'pouring a glass of wine' as our 'moment to exhale, sit back and relax' ritual.

Much in the same way as we might take off our bra and work tights at the end of the day. In winter the moment that I put on my furry comfy boot slippers is my 'relaxation moment'. I associate that action with the end of my jobs. It is a ritual. Some people have a scented bath, or whatever.

Same thing with a cold beer on a hot Friday evening.

It's easy to get into these rituals without actually being an alcoholic, or being dependent on the actual alcohol - when I discovered an alcohol-free beer I liked I still enjoyed the taste and coldness as my 'relax' ritual, but was glad to not clock up units - but it does mean, as in your case, that you are being less than healthy.

Find something else to mark that 'phew - job done, Me Time Starts Now' moment.

That's called A Problem.

Using wine as a treat after.a busy day with dc is v v normal!