AIBU to think drinking every day is normal?

[BitBehind]

Just that really.

I grew up in a household where both parents drank every night. Always wine with dinner and then sometimes gin or whisky afterwards.

They were never smashed. But they definitely drank every day without fail and often a little wobbly before bed. I didn't think much of it.

Now I always have wine in the evening. Soon as the kids (toddlers) are in bed it's my routine to come down and have a glass of white wine in the quiet at last. And then maybe one more with dinner. And maybe one more after dinner. Small glass. 3 max. I never go out drinking anymore so that's it. I'm never drunk but also would find it hard to not have that glass at the end of the day

Is this normal? My partner says it's definitely not.

I'm at increased risk of breast cancer (family history). At my appointment with a clinical geneticist he used graphs to illustrate how my personal risk level, and how that excess risk (relative to an average woman without family history) increases with age.

One thing that really struck me was that he said my risk profile was very similar to a woman who drank in excess of 14 units of alcohol every week (compared to a women who drank smaller amounts).

I have to live with my inherited excess risk but if you drink a lot, you are choosing to give yourself that increased risk. And the risk level is substantial enough that I qualify for annual mammograms on NHS from age 40.

Exactly.

A client of mine was an alcoholic and passed away last year.

She was in her early fifties and looked about 75. She had all sorts of health issues as a result of her drinking - bad skin, horrendous teeth, pancreatitis, cirrhosis of the liver as well as heart and lung issues as a result of constant chain smoking.

She was so young but her life had been totally ruined. She drank herself into oblivion to the point of messing her bed and vomiting down herself weekly if not daily.

She died in hospital of multiple organ failure.

Now I'll get jumped on and told most people don't end up like that but in her thirties she worked full-time, had a partner and a home and was perfectly fit and well.

If you're already developing alcohol dependency in your thirties then now is the time to do something about it before it's too late.

I'm sure most are aware, but in case not, 14 units is not some magic cut-off. The lowest risk to health is 0 units.

As with all risk factors, there is a weighing up of the risk/benefits and for an average person, the evidence to date is that up to 14 units a week will only cause a slight increase in risk of adverse health effects. But there is still risk. 2 units per week is healthier than 5 units, 5 units is healthier than 10 etc.

"They were never smashed. But they definitely drank every day without fail and often a little wobbly before bed."

Your parents were alcoholics, OP. Sorry.

My neighbor drank wine every evening. Probably 1-1.5 bottles. She’s dead now. She had a horrible slow death with multiple alcohol related conditions. She was in chronic pain and immobile for years before she died but never once admitted it was the drink that caused it - despite the doctors telling her. She was only in her mid 60s when she died.

I find this interesting when there is no research to show that teetotallers have a longer life expectancy. Infact, I think it's the other way round.

I find this interesting when there is no research to show that teetotallers have a longer life expectancy. Infact, I think it's the other way round.

But you can be teetotal and drink like a chimney, live off McDonald's and never exercise.

Too much alcohol can decrease your life expectancy but there are so many other factors to take into account too.

That should be smoke like a chimney 🙈

Lots of places in Europe e.g the med, France, Italy will have one or two glasses of wine with their evening meal each night.

I think it’s fine.

Binge drinking is lots worse for your health

It's truly amazing how many people don't seem to get this. They treat the limit itself as a recommendation. 'Oh but the government say it's fine to drink 14 a week'. No, they don't.

They're probably the same people who think 'it's no longer illegal to go out with covid', guidance intended to make sure nobody is fined for popping to the shop in a mask to get stuff for the kids' dinner, means 'it's fine to go out knowing you've got it and are sneezing and sniffling and mix with loads of people at a party'.

I think the people who write the guidance overestimate the intelligence of the general public, to be honest.

They don't, though. I've lived all over Europe and it isn't normal anywhere to drink every single day.

Interestingly, Spain has more alcohol related deaths per capita than the UK. They are the second highest consumer of alcohol in the EU after Portugal. There are 8000 deaths per year and their population is 47 million, compared to 9000 deaths per year in the UK with a population of 67 million.

(stats from multiple sources - sorry, can’t be bothered to reference)

@A580Hojas One reason that teetotallers often appear to have a lower life expectancy than light drinkers, is that many people become teetotal as a result of poor health. For example, patients with liver disease, patients on certain medications, nursing home residents are all usually teetotal. However, despite their recent teetotal lifestyle, their existing health problems tend to result in a shorter life.

Good luck!
Hopefully you won't even need it.
Let us know how you get on.

This is an often referenced myth. I’ve lived in France and people don’t drink every day or with every meal.

Data published by Eurostat shows that 13% of people in Spain drink alcohol every day, which is just behind Portugal which leads with 20% of people having an alcohol drink every day. The EU average is 8.4% daily drinkers.

What is true is that Europe has the most deaths due to alcohol of anywhere in the world.

Drinking too much
Smoking
Being Overweight
Not Exercising

Are all bad for you.

Those preaching about going over the 14 units - are you abiding to the other ones?

Not preaching, but yes.

Those who abstain from alcohol are a heterogeneous group, for example it includes those who have never drunk anything (e.g. for religious reasons) through to those that are alcoholics that have stopped drinking. It includes many who don't drink because they are in poor health or receiving treatment meaning that they are unable to drink/ have no desire to/want to prioritise their health.

This means teetotallers are a problematic reference group to use in reaearch. In studies from years ago, it looked like those who drank small amounts of alcohol were healthier than those who didn't drink anything. But it is now believed that these results were being driven largely by the teetotal group having poorer health on average (we call this 'reverse causation' - their poor health is the reason they don't drink, it's not the lack of drink that's causing their poor health).

More modern research in this area is able to address many of these limitations using an approach called Mendelian Randomisation - too complex to explain here but it enables researchers to see the true relationship between alcohol and subsequent health unconfounded by previous illnesses, socio-economic factors etc.

Well done, I bet some of the others don't.

You can say what you want over the internet though (not aimed at you).

But the OP has specifically asked about her drinking habits. Which are unhealthy. We might not be able to do everything perfectly, but that doesn't mean that doing other things are fine for our health.

Ideally you don't do any of those things. But doing 1 of them is better than doing all 4. Just because you are overweight for example doesnt' mean you can't recognise drinking excessively (3 times over recommended amount) isn't bad for someone.

I find this thread really interesting. Thank you for posting OP. It's an argument I've had with my husband before as he believes drinking every night is fine as long as your not drunk and it's not affecting your life but I disagree. In my opinion I think that waking up groggy with a headache from booze should be a really rare occasion when you have kids. (He's not drinking now because I told him I was not accepting it but I know he thinks I'm over reacting). It seems to be down to how you were raised if you think it's normal or not.

DH and I drink every night. I wish we didn't, but except on rare occasions where we have curry and I drink non-alcoholic beer, or Dry Jan, I have a small (125ml) glass or two most nights.

I really wish I didn't. But it's habit and stress and delineates the end of the working day after WFH. Lots of excuses. I would feel much happier if I drank 2-3 times a week. And I drink about half what you say you drink OP. I drank like you when I was younger. It really wasn't good.

I would recommend this to anyone. It is brilliant learn.thisnakedmind.com/the-alcohol-experiment-registration
And it is free.

Yes, I get that and the OP did ask.

I am a healthy weight, don't smoke and exercise apart from going over the units recommended some weeks.

I have a big birthday and lots of celebrations coming up so will definitely cutting down after that.

It wouldn't be normal for me. I have a glass or two of wine every few weeks, on a Saturday night. Or occasionally a Baileys coffee. I might have a glass of wine every night with my dinner, if I'm on a sun holiday, for example. But that stops as soon as I get home. It's a holiday treat - having a glass of wine and not having to think about driving the next day or having to get up early for work.

If a friend told me that they were drinking every night, alarm bells would ring. And if they said that they were drinking three glasses of wine every night and were finding it hard not to have a drink at the end of the day, I'd be very concerned that they were on the road to alcoholism, if not already there.

I don't drink very often because I work full -time and I have to be alert for work. At weekends I've to catch up on housework, grocery shopping, laundry, gardening etc. and I don't want to be rushing around trying to fit in everything with a hangover. Not to mention the risk of being stopped by the police and failing a breathalyser test because I had a few drinks the night before. So I'm most likely to have a drink on a Bank Holiday weekend, when I can slow down a bit and enjoy a few drinks and then have a long, slow morning the next day when I don't have to rush off anywhere or drive.

A few posters have mentioned the risks to your liver but a friend of mine was concerned that her friend was drinking very heavily. She recently told me that the same friend has been diagnosed with dementia related to excessive alcohol consumption, at a relatively young age.