AIBU to think drinking every day is normal?

[BitBehind]

Just that really.

I grew up in a household where both parents drank every night. Always wine with dinner and then sometimes gin or whisky afterwards.

They were never smashed. But they definitely drank every day without fail and often a little wobbly before bed. I didn't think much of it.

Now I always have wine in the evening. Soon as the kids (toddlers) are in bed it's my routine to come down and have a glass of white wine in the quiet at last. And then maybe one more with dinner. And maybe one more after dinner. Small glass. 3 max. I never go out drinking anymore so that's it. I'm never drunk but also would find it hard to not have that glass at the end of the day

Is this normal? My partner says it's definitely not.

It's been interesting reading people's drinking behaviours and reflecting on my own and how it's changed over time. One thing that's really struck me and I'd never really thought of before is that I've never really done 'at home' drinking. Even when I was drinking regularly as a student/young adult (pubs, clubs, parties sometimes several times a week) I never got in to the habit of drinking at home.

When I then lived alone from mid 20s-mid 30s, I'd have a selection of wine/beers for when friends came for dinner but I never thought to have a drink on my own. I think maybe because for me alcohol is very strongly associated with socialising. Not with TV watching, eating my everyday dinner etc.

I'm more interested in enjoying life than having a long life

Happiness is a combination of the short, medium and long term. The ideal is to live so as to maximize your happiness in the future as well as the now, or a balance between all three. If you're really interested in enjoying life then you'd want to enjoy it as long as possible.

And as a PP says, being a heavy drinker and then liver failure is not good. Will you off yourself if any of your 'enjoying life' behaviours end up having adverse consequences?

No it's not normal.

I actually usually only have one drink on a Friday! But I know I'm probably unusual!

Perfectly normal for both my family and my DH's family. No history of alcohols abuse or building up the amounts drunk over the years. Just very normal to have a beer or wine with evening meal. Rarely get drunk though.

Rural south east - high earning ... I say that because I think it's relevant..

Absolutely normal... OP..
not good but yes, round these parts v normal. My teacher friend seems to have 'grown' her glasses whereby her wine glass now seems to hold half a bottle.. so she only had 2 glasses..

I sleep better, my skin is better and i feel healthier. And i suppose i enjoy that feeling more than i did the drink i enjoyed.

Same here. I gave up for a few months (previously had a glass of wine most nights), and every aspect of my health improved. I lost weight, I was less anxious, I had more energy and motivation, I started sleeping better. And I realised I would much rather have those things than have alcohol.

Confused by the special needs comment. Rather unnecessary and rude

In terms of drinking every day then no need. Lots of people live busy and stressful lives. No need to drink everyday -it’s just an excuse. In your partners shoes l wouldn’t be thrilled. It’s too much and lm the child of an alcoholic.

I'm intrigued by the people who only drink occasionally (like only on special occasions or holiday etc) - do you just not like wine very much or do you have iron strong discipline. Cooking a nice dinner with a glass of good wine is a real pleasure to me and I can't imagine doing it only at Christmas

I like good red wine. I like good gin, I like limoncino, I like damson and sloe gin, I like cointreau and amaretto, marsala, avocaat, cherry brandy and prosecco and champagne. When I didn't have to worry about gluten, I'd enjoy an ice cold lager or an ale and cook with stout.

Part of me would like to have an old fashioned cut glass wine glass of red wine in the bath each evening.

But I really can't be arsed. It's money I don't need to spend, it's calories I don't need to drink, it's just Not That Important.

I don't eat cake, chocolate or biscuits either.

I'd rather spend the money on something else - like nicer olives, chargrilled artichokes, better cured meats, EVOO or, what is more pressing in my life, the vastly inflated costs of gluten free pasta. And by not buying it, that covers my gym membership for the month. It also means that on that occasion where I do decide I want a drink, I really appreciate it.

My ex insisted that drinking wine every night was what 'every middle class family does' and was really angry that I didn't feel the need or desire to have three glasses a night (or even a week). But, then again, he was the one drinking six cans of Stella and smoking a quarter of Skunk every night and needed to have me validate his behaviour as being normal. I'd rather have my liver and lungs than whatever his look like by now.

To be honest, it probably wouldn't have made any difference if you did... I used to plead with my parents all the time as a teenager and yet they just gaslit me and told me that alcoholics were only people who drank spirits...

Confused by the special

No, it isn't. Apparently you are supposed to have 3 dry days a week. And if a woman, no more than one standard drink a day.

According to my GP.

Rural south east - high earning ... I say that because I think it's relevant..

Absolutely normal... OP..
not good but yes, round these parts v normal. My teacher friend seems to have 'grown' her glasses whereby her wine glass now seems to hold half a bottle.. so she only had 2 glasses..

I should add that I was the daughter of an alcoholic, and for awhile there I was binge-drinking to the extent that I had abnormal blood-liver functions, which is how the topic came up with my GP.

Definitely not normal, it sounds like alcohol dependency to me. Can you stop? Could you go a month or even a week without any?

would be slightly nervous about having 3 drinks every night especially in case you had to drive in an emergency!

ooh the emergency driving card! What happens if you drink on one night a year and that’s the night this emergency that never happens is?

So it’s worth the hangover if you don’t have kids?

Definitely not normal.

My mum was the same, it started as a glass or two in the evenings when we were kids. Over the years it became a bottle a day, by the end she was buying it by the box! She died at 57 of liver failure and never got to see her 3 gorgeous grandkids grow up.

It's really not normal.

Definitely not normal, it sounds like alcohol dependency to me. Can you stop? Could you go a month or even a week without any?

It could be "normal", in the sense that it's far too commonplace. It's not good though, not good at all.

I don’t particularly like alcohol in general (especially red wine!) and the ones I do enjoy are usually very sweet like gin or Malibu with lemonade or berry ciders.
In the summer I’ll have a drink if we are having a bbq or visiting a pub/friends etc but I only ever have one as I find it hard to finish it.
I only ever drink wine on special occasions and only if it is a super sweet one.
I just don’t see the point in drinking, it doesn’t do anything for me, I’d much rather curl up with a cup of tea!

Amongst people my age (late 20s, early 30s) pretty much all of my friends only drink when going out/special occasions. I don't drink at all. I don't think that's uncommon.

Fairly normal for the middle class and middle aged, but not necessarily healthy. If you are younger I’d say probably not normal. Wine with supper is absolute essential pleasure for some but try and cut down to just one glass if possible. And better still a night or 2 off a week.

Not rtft but no this isn't normal and it definitely isn't healthy.
I used to drink more (I love wine and enjoy a glass or two) but now we have made a conscious decision that we will only drink it at the weekends and it's actually really easy to stick to.
That's partly because the last patients I saw with alcoholic liver disease were exactly like this - wine with dinner (1/2 bottle a day) for decades and never thought anything if it. One died and the other had a liver transplant. It was a wake up call (although I didn't drink that much!)
It's also a very much better lifestyle to be showing one's children. Drinking every night normalises it for the next generation (as it has for you) and it's very unhealthy.You just don't know if you'll be the person whose liver can't cope with that.
Guidance is 14 units maximum with at least 1-2 days off a week...