AIBU to think drinking every day is normal?

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Just that really.

I grew up in a household where both parents drank every night. Always wine with dinner and then sometimes gin or whisky afterwards.

They were never smashed. But they definitely drank every day without fail and often a little wobbly before bed. I didn't think much of it.

Now I always have wine in the evening. Soon as the kids (toddlers) are in bed it's my routine to come down and have a glass of white wine in the quiet at last. And then maybe one more with dinner. And maybe one more after dinner. Small glass. 3 max. I never go out drinking anymore so that's it. I'm never drunk but also would find it hard to not have that glass at the end of the day

Is this normal? My partner says it's definitely not.

Not always that easy, though. Where I used to live, it would take a taxi at least half an hour to get to me, always supposing the local taxi company had someone available. Having a car and being able to drive it was pretty essential.

I mean, I don't drink but I just don't think most people live their lives based on the worst case scenario.

When I was younger I needed to get to A&E a couple of times and my dad had the only car at work - mum just had to ring a taxi or ask a neighbour/friend to help her out.

my dh drinks about 4 every night hes off work so about 4-5 nights every other week-says hes always done it to him it snormal but to me its not

we dont have young kids and he doesnt drive though

if you quit when you were pregnant you could do it again

Bloody hell. unless there is a drip feed coming and you have special needs

Wow

Have you had a drink?

You can think it's normal if you like. I think its somebody with a drinking problem. Especially if they are drinking over the recommended amount.

I now only drink on special occasions (probably actually just one or two at Christmas tbh and last Christmas didn't drink at all). I do like the taste of wine (used to love a good NZ Sav Blanc!), but I don't need a strong will power because I just don't think about it..

However, 10 years or so ago it was a different matter.. I used to 'only' drink 3 or 4 nights a week, and convinced myself I was okay because I had a few nights when I didn't drink.. But I was constantly thinking about it and had to schedule those nights in and actively 'looked forward' to my next night of drinking. I was dependent on it, it was affecting my relationship with my DH who couldn't understand the need for a Wednesday night bottle of wine, affected my mental and physical health and was turning me into my parents...

Who also thought drinking 5 nights a week was normal and despite each drinking between 1 and 2 bottles of wine a night, 'weren't alcoholics' because they were only drinking wine... 🤔

Not the same but had to pick DC up from A&E at 3am (he was 16, during Covid and therefore couldn't have anyone with him)
I have no idea how he would have got home if DH and I had both been over the limit to drive, taxis round here being virtually unobtainable at that time.
it certainly made us rethink about our need to be available "just in case"

Totally normal to have wine with meals. It isn't an issue to do that, it's the norm in most civilised countries.

Feeling like you "need" it though is jot great.

I'm more interested in enjoying life than having a long life

Yeah, my MIL would say this. And does say this. She has crappy coasters saying "prosecco o clock" too, and will happily declare it's "perfect Aperol Spritz weather" when the sun's out.

Which would be fine if she could stop at one and get on with doing other things with her life. But she doesn't. Like the OP, it's two or three every day. At what point does "enjoying life" become actually being a bit of a bore, who has no other hobbies or interests because they're sitting drinking every night from 8pm and fuzzy headed every morning from a bad night's sleep?

No.

And this really... With two young children, I value my sleep too much to compromise it with even a glass of alcohol!

I have a wine when cooking and a wine when eating or if I’m going out I have a wine in the pub then one when I get home. Sometimes a third - if I feel like it!

It’s really no big deal to me, but that said my DH likes a beer or two after work as well so it’s never an issue between us. It’s just part of our evening.

My Parents do the same and so do his.

I don't think it's normal. I don't know anyone with these drinking habits

i'd say it's alot more normal than you'd think but people don't broadcast it.

Started only drinking at the weekends because it affected my sleep, then cut down further when my mum was ill and I had to be available to go over in the middle of the night. Dont miss it at all. Nothing against having a drink, but as others have said, needing it is a big flag. There are plenty of things you can sit down and enjoy like a herb tea, flavoured water, etc.

I would highly recommend you read the book 'Alcohol Explained' by William Porter. It's fascinating and will answer all your questions and addresses so many of the things you have said in your posts.

I'm in the minority here that doesn't think your drinking sounds too abnormal I would happily drink every night actually - although I tend only to have 1, maybe 2, drinks per evening and we actually drink wine out of shot glasses! A bottle lasts me and my husband 2 nights between us, so we only drink 1/4 of a bottle each in an evening.

We do however make sure we have 2 or 3 alcohol free nights a week now as we decided that drinking every night wasn't good for us.

I certainly had a glass of wine every night when I had young DC. It signified the end of the day and the move into a more relaxing evening pace. Unfortunately middle age has made me more sensitive to alcohol and now I don't drink, if at home, Monday to Thursday. I am pretty confident I am not an alcoholic; no problems drinking only sparkling water if I'm the designated driver or when pregnant.
I agree with a previous poster who says MN are an anomaly when it comes to alcohol. Most people I know have alcohol as regularly as me.

one of us is always under the limit if we’re in charge of our dc (definitely don’t drink every day - some weeks nothing, others I’ll have a glass of wine or two on a Friday/Saturday night, or a gin and tonic).

dh had a suspected stroke when the ambulance service was in a major incident due to demand. I took him to a&e rather than wait 3 hours. Another time Dd reacted to coconut and her throat closed up so (following dh experience) I shoved her in the car and drove (a&e is nearby). I would love to think you can rely on an ambulance but you can’t right now.

Of course that’s too much. And your parents wine is not the same as your own. I’d wager their wine glasses were small for a start, but the strength of their wine would also have been less.

really interesting programme on radio 4 last year about how the wine we drink is much stronger today than in the past due to global warming.

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p09z3slg

I think when you're in the midst of it, it does feel normal (or you try to convince yourself it's normal)... It feels like there would be a huge part of your life missing without it.

But when you get through it and look back, you realise that it's not normal to be constantly thinking about drinking and looking forward to drinking. It becomes normal for it not to be part of your every day. You look forward to other things to relax, like a bath or tv series, run or evening snacks (a bit too much 😁).

My history is very much the same as you OP. Evening wines just accepted as the norm etc etc (my mum would drink 2+ bottles of red a night to herself when I was a youngster). I've gone through phases of having a glass or two (or four) a night, but I always know it then turns into having the same the next night.. and the one after.. and...

So I made myself a rule of no midweek wines. I mark on the calendar whether I've had alcohol or not (I know this may sound extreme, but actually I think it's sensible - I know my family tendancy to drink so it's my way of keeping myself accountable enough so I can enjoy my wine without it going that way) and generally I don't drink any more. I have tea instead. I've lost weight and enjoy my lovely wine at weekends instead. No judgement from me, but maybe worth a re-evaluation on your balance.

The popular culture featuring mums with the inevitable glass of wine (why mummy drinks, etc) are normalising it all but the fact of the matter is it is not good for your health.

Haven't read all the posts, so not sure if anyone's already mentioned, but it does for instance have a huge effect on the quality of sleep you get ('Why we sleep' is an excellent book).

It is often just a habit. If you had chilled fizzy water with may be a raspberry in it and drunk it from your best glass while cooking you'd enjoy it as much (after creating that as a habit).

On both sides of our families, they like a drink at home, only a couple, as did we.
We didn't see it as a problem, i do think it takes you over the recommended amount for your health.

After we had our DS, well after i found out i was pregnant, we obviously stopped drinking at home as i stopped drinking, i havent had a drink since and our DS is nearly 5. I sleep better, my skin is better and i feel healthier. And i suppose i enjoy that feeling more than i did the drink i enjoyed.

It seems so alien to me now the thought of having a drink every night.
If you are looking at changing it a bit
Why dont you as a "game" buy a few bottles of non alcoholic (some are ok now) and a few alcoholic wine and get your DH to serve you your first evening drink, see if you can tell the difference over the week, find one you think is ok and use that to have a day or 2 off, it may just help health wise lowering your intake for the week.

I find in incomprehensible that some people can't live without alcohol

yea I don't drink,gamble, smoke or do drugs myself so but I have sugar addiction I know others don't care for so it's an addiction, just different types.

It was normal in my house but my grandad died of alcoholism, and my Dad openly admits he needs to cut down (now 83 and very fit) but will always have a drink each night. One or two but every night unless he’s been on medication.

My FIL drinks every night too - whiskey and larger without fail, even when on medication.

Now in our 40’s we realise our situations weren’t the norm and we try not to drink in the week but it’s hard to break those habits you’ve grown up with. I want my children to have a normal healthy relationship with alcohol so making better choices.

What do you do on your alcohol free nights then? Not drink any liquid with your dinner?? We rarely drink so have squash with most meals, ocassionally coke or lemonade, or juice. Same as the kids (teens). Doesn't seem weird to me....

Not normal in our house. I only buy alcohol really if there’s something to celebrate or an occasion. Honestly I don’t want to waste calories on it!!! I’d rather not have the hangover then have to burn them off! To me there’s zero value in it.. x