AIBU to think drinking every day is normal?

[BitBehind]

Just that really.

I grew up in a household where both parents drank every night. Always wine with dinner and then sometimes gin or whisky afterwards.

They were never smashed. But they definitely drank every day without fail and often a little wobbly before bed. I didn't think much of it.

Now I always have wine in the evening. Soon as the kids (toddlers) are in bed it's my routine to come down and have a glass of white wine in the quiet at last. And then maybe one more with dinner. And maybe one more after dinner. Small glass. 3 max. I never go out drinking anymore so that's it. I'm never drunk but also would find it hard to not have that glass at the end of the day

Is this normal? My partner says it's definitely not.

I can't get my head round the idea of drinking and breastfeeding. I didn't drink at all during pregnancy or breastfeeding.

www.llli.org/breastfeeding-info/alcohol/

I could have written your post OP - for me it was lockdown and signing up for Naked Wines. It’s definitely not ideal (whether “normal” for you or not). I used to sleep very well, now I struggle to stay asleep and often wake with heart racing and can’t get back to sleep for 1-2 hours.

I’m cutting back to 2-3 night per week. I just look forward to a glass when work is stressful which is my downfall.

I did manage to cut booze out for a week recently in the run up to a half marathon and replaced with decaf tea in the evening which was quite nice!

@StrawberryPot I'm more interested in enjoying life than having a long life.

My friend's husband says that about drinking too. He's an alcoholic.

Personally I didn’t drink while I breastfed, but I was told constantly by friends and my sil (a breastfeeding coach) that it was fine.

I had a glass of wine with beans on toast last week and that's what triggered DH to talk to me about it again. Which I understand. Work and the kids are full on and it feels like the one moment of quiet at end of day. I just can't imagine having the energy for a hobby (my DC are 1 and 3 and I wokr full time) so crashing at end of day with food and wine is my treat. All your stories about serious health implications and worse is really making me think. I just need to think of a booze free alternative as I hate sweet stuff or fizzy drinks. I guess water.

I had a glass of wine with beans on toast last week and that's what triggered DH to talk to me about it again

Yes, I can see why he did. It's hardly paring a fine wine with food. If anything probably spoils the taste of both the wine and the beans on toast.

You can get nine alcoholic wines and spirits. Or try something like iced tea infusions

Lockdown is what did it to me too. Prior to Covid I had stopped for 9 months. Interestingly while it made me feel good physically I felt terrible mentally- like there was something wrong with me and I could never drink again. I felt like everyone was judging me. Social situations were awful. I am ND and it added an extra dimension to the social awkwardness.

No it's not normal - when I was drinking every night I definitely had a problem. Not saying I was an alcoholic but I was using it to relax which turned to drinking more when I was stressed which turned to me drinking at any time of day (even the morning). It happens easier than you think. A lot of people drink a lot of nights each week now but I don't think it's ok. I rarely drink now. Socially every now and then and even then no more than 4 units as after that I start feeling shit the next day and I can't be arsed with it anymore.

I haven't drank alcohol since August 2021 🤣. And even that was just a cider. I don't really enjoy the taste anymore. My DP doesn't drink either really unless we're out for a meal or the pub/ special occasion and even then he'll only have one. We don't have any alcohol in the house.

Also, I work in dentistry and at peoples check up with ask how many units of alcohol a week they drink because the risks associated also with your oral health.

I drink everyday and it's not a problem aslong as your not getting drunk everyday or putting vodka on your cornflakes I don't see the issue

The issue is that if you are regularly drinking well in excess of the recommended levels then you will be negatively affecting your health. Increased risk of many cancers, including breast, high blood pressure, obesity, cardiovascular disease, liver problems..... Can negatively impact on mental health too.

As others have said, not getting drunk/feeling rough despite drinking a lot is not a good sign - the fact your body can tolerate large amounts of alcohol and you don't feel drunk is not a sign of health. Would strongly recommend liver function and blood pressure tests.

But if all of that isn't an 'issue' for you then carry on by all means.
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We* not with

If its 3 small glasses , does that add up to about 1/2 a bottle of wine? I wouldn't say that was an abnormal amount . A lot drink more.

@Springduckling That doesn't make it ok. About half of us drink too much for our health/than is recommended (more than 14 units- and we're supposed to have some days off.)

@BitBehind At least try and keep it to about 8 125ml glasses of 13% wine a week. This would be your 14 units. www.drinkaware.co.uk/tools/unit-and-calorie-calculator Obviously, less than that is even better.

I cut down to about 3 drinks a week and I feel so much better, more stable in my moods and less exhausted.

I don't think it's 'normal' to drink every night. I drink 2-3 bottles of wine a week but over 3/4 nights and I know I drink too much. A couple of nights off is needed.

My friend's husband says that about drinking too. He's an alcoholic.

@SofiaSoFar - You're entitled to your opinion, but really, I hope you're not calling me an alcoholic because I drink around 20 units a week? 

I had to take antibiotics for an infection a couple of weeks ago and had no problems going without alcohol for 10 days. I have no problems going without alcohol if I'm doing something on an evening that requires me to drive. I like wine with my evening meal.

Honestly. Only on Mumsnet.

I'm in the minority here that doesn't think your drinking sounds too abnormal (if your glasses really are small). I would happily drink every night actually - although I tend only to have 1, maybe 2, drinks per evening and we actually drink wine out of shot glasses! A bottle lasts me and my husband 2 nights between us, so we only drink 1/4 of a bottle each in an evening.

We do however make sure we have 2 or 3 alcohol free nights a week now as we decided that drinking every night wasn't good for us.

We drink alcohol free beer which is excellent and very refreshing on a warm evening (the Lidl and Aldi alcohol free lager). Neither of us really like sweet drinks (squash, Coke, etc) so the alcohol free lager hits the spot.

Although I don't think your consumption sounds huge, I do think you could probably cut down a bit for the sake of your health. Good luck.

DH and I used to share a bottle of wine almost every night, just over dinner, chatting, watching TV.

Then we realised how much we were spending and cut down.

Then I was drinking a third of a bottle a night at the start of lockdown and did a Drinkaware quiz...and stopped drinking Sun - Wed.

Now often have a glass every evening, I just enjoy it. But have definite non-drinking 3 day stretches (depending on what is happening socially or what we are eating)

I used to think it was normal to drink every day. A day off would be a novelty.

Now I stick to drinking only at the weekends (trying to cut down to just Friday and Sundays with Saturday off as well, as I’m still slightly over the 14 units).

I do get what you’re saying about it seeming odd to have squash or whatever with dinner, but honestly once you get used to it the idea of drinking every night then seems shocking.

I now look forward to a drink on a Friday night more, and equally look forward to my clear headed evenings and mornings during the week.

Now I’ve cut back quite a bit (although still not enough), I feel wracked with guilt and anxiety over what I did to my body never giving it a break from alcohol. I also thought it was ‘normal’ and it was only when I stopped that I realised I was just kidding myself.

I’d try just two days off a week to start with then gradually reduce and see how you get on.

There are some great non alcohol alternatives out there as well these days.

I think it’s pretty common, but is too much on a nightly basis year in year out.

God, the attitudes on this thread are more symptomatic of problem drinking than the OP! So many people automatically presume an inability to moderate or limit. If you can't moderate, you have a problem. But many people are capable of having a glass of wine (a single, small glass) with dinner without there being a slippery slope of any kind, anywhere near! The British culture of binge drinking is just so obvious here. On what planet are those who getting actively drunk once a week claiming superiority to those who have small, daily glass of wine?!

OP needs to decide if they can moderate or not.

Ehh it's a difficult one
There is probably lots of people who consider daily drinking normal. I'd say 3 a night most nights is way too much though.

Also just because something is "normal" doesn't mean it's good for you/OK.

I think needing to drink daily shows a addiction and reliance on alcohol and I'm against routine drinking/binge drinking.

This was my parents normal too and although I didn't do the same I definitely thought it was normal before I met my husband and realised it wasn't the norm. I do think that it is the norm for many people though.

It sounds like that amount of drinking has been the norm for you growing up, and so is a fixed habit for you now. I think it's great that you're questioning the habit though. You will no doubt find other people that drink that kind of amount each week, but it is above the guidelines. That level of intake increases your risk of lots of diseases including liver and throat cancers. I know you haven't asked specifically for advice on alcohol reduction, but having 3-4 alcohol free days might be a good place to start. Good luck!

No it’s not normal.

On MN, anyone who drinks more than a thimble of wine at Christmas is an alcoholic. Wrong place to ask.