To assume I have been dumped

Original poster

Dumpedagainfml · 11/06/2022 16:22

Tbf its not propert dumping as we only met one but ‘thanks but no thanks lets be friends’ is easier

OP posts:

mnahmnah · 11/06/2022 16:24

To be honest, even if he isn’t ghosting you, I couldn’t put up with such crap communication and would write him off anyway

BalloonsAndWhistles · 11/06/2022 16:24

Chances are he’s not interested. Bloody hell, I hate people like this. Just delete and move on.

Catnuzzle · 11/06/2022 16:24

YANBU.

MsVestibule · 11/06/2022 16:25

Yes, I'd make that assumption. Was he a regular texter before?

Original poster

Dumpedagainfml · 11/06/2022 16:27

Its fucking endless isnt it
i am with my sister (shes gay) she is like yous woman have to put up with utter shit dont you?!
its a tough balance - its not like I am texting him all the time - I showed her the message and she said its totaly normal and hes the one being weird not replying

OP posts:

Original poster

Dumpedagainfml · 11/06/2022 16:27

MsVestibule · 11/06/2022 16:25

Yes, I'd make that assumption. Was he a regular texter before?

He wasnt bad - some delays due to work but just normal - think he usually messages back at lunch. I message him at nine this morning nil word back

OP posts:

frydae · 11/06/2022 16:29

if I dont hear from him by tomorrow I will assume its a one and done date -

By give him that long? Be careful you are not hoping he will become what you want. He isn't it already, he certainly won't turn in to it. As an aside, reframe things, toy haven't been dumped, you are letting him go. Be positive.

Original poster

Dumpedagainfml · 11/06/2022 16:31

frydae · 11/06/2022 16:29

if I dont hear from him by tomorrow I will assume its a one and done date -

By give him that long? Be careful you are not hoping he will become what you want. He isn't it already, he certainly won't turn in to it. As an aside, reframe things, toy haven't been dumped, you are letting him go. Be positive.

😂😂 my sister said the same. She was like he already is in a danger zone. I am getting to an age where I really want to say something to these guys but lets be honest it doesnt make a blond bit of difference. We have several ftiends in common so its irritating

OP posts:

Assistanttotheregionalmanager · 11/06/2022 16:32

mnahmnah · 11/06/2022 16:24

To be honest, even if he isn’t ghosting you, I couldn’t put up with such crap communication and would write him off anyway

This

Original poster

Dumpedagainfml · 11/06/2022 16:41

Would any of yous message him again calling him out?? I want to send ‘i am not interested in your romantically but lets be friends. There its not hard is it’ fucking exhausted with dating

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Beingadiv · 11/06/2022 16:42

Meh. Yeah. I'd assume he's not bothered, sorry. Not if he was a regular texter before. Thing is, you want enthusiasm, not the bare minimum.

CelestiaNoctis · 11/06/2022 16:42

Maybe he just doesn't click with you on the date. But he should obviously say something, he's being very rude. Just ask him straight up.

Ponoka7 · 11/06/2022 16:43

"but ‘thanks but no thanks lets be friends’ is easier"

A lot of men won't burn their bridges for a chance of a shag. It doesn't sound like he's relationship material. It depends on what you want, but you're already disappointed. Imagine if you'd had sex and was treated like this.

Original poster

Dumpedagainfml · 11/06/2022 16:44

Ponoka7 · 11/06/2022 16:43

"but ‘thanks but no thanks lets be friends’ is easier"

A lot of men won't burn their bridges for a chance of a shag. It doesn't sound like he's relationship material. It depends on what you want, but you're already disappointed. Imagine if you'd had sex and was treated like this.

Totally. Ive learned that lesson the hard way sadly

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Original poster

Dumpedagainfml · 11/06/2022 16:45

CelestiaNoctis · 11/06/2022 16:42

Maybe he just doesn't click with you on the date. But he should obviously say something, he's being very rude. Just ask him straight up.

Totally. Its fine, the date was 6 hours long though

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Ponoka7 · 11/06/2022 16:46

"I want to send ‘i am not interested in your romantically but lets be friends."

In what shape or form is he behaving like a friend? You want to communicate with him, don't or he'll use you. He's already sucking you in.

screwcovid · 11/06/2022 16:47

Jeez I am just about to become single after 13 years and this scares the shit out of me tbh and I am 49 with 2 young children luckily look younger h

sleepymum50 · 11/06/2022 16:50

I’m done with men, and I have never done OLD, but have read many posts about this world of pain and mens failures regarding decency.

From my perspective, it’s strikes me the best way to get over this ‘ghosting’ would be to have a little fun. I’d be inclined to send him either some rambling text (which was obviously ‘meant’ for someone else). Perhaps thank them for that fabulous night at madly expensive hotel or Twitter on about a surprise inheritance. I know, I’m sad.

i know it’s a waste of time, and it’s better taking the moral high ground, but ……

trufflequeen · 11/06/2022 16:51

A man that is interested will reply. He isn't ghosting you but he is probably putting you in that compartment either hoping you would go away without him telling you or he will keep you on a long leash just in case he can't find the thing he is looking for and can come back in. I'm married to the busiest man ever and he will respond immediately despite being married for 5 years and he still would respond even if he was in the middle of a war zone running through mines with snipers aiming at him. I've also dated guys who were similar to this and actually had a short relationship with one and guess what, he just wasn't into me. Listen to your gut.

WeAreTheHeroes · 11/06/2022 16:54

screwcovid · 11/06/2022 16:47

Jeez I am just about to become single after 13 years and this scares the shit out of me tbh and I am 49 with 2 young children luckily look younger h

What do you mean, "luckily look younger"?

Even years ago I found OLD useless.

LisaSimpson77 · 11/06/2022 16:56

sleepymum50 · 11/06/2022 16:50

I’m done with men, and I have never done OLD, but have read many posts about this world of pain and mens failures regarding decency.

From my perspective, it’s strikes me the best way to get over this ‘ghosting’ would be to have a little fun. I’d be inclined to send him either some rambling text (which was obviously ‘meant’ for someone else). Perhaps thank them for that fabulous night at madly expensive hotel or Twitter on about a surprise inheritance. I know, I’m sad.

i know it’s a waste of time, and it’s better taking the moral high ground, but ……

😂😂 I came on to say absolutely don't call him out, all it does is give him the power and show that you care. He'll use that to string you along.

I've read this though and thought, I quite like the idea of "accidentally" sending him a text meant for somebody else:

Thanks for last night I had a ball, it's so nice to meet somebody hot and intelligent, you wouldn't believe how many frogs I've had to kiss in the past 😆

Followed twenty minutes later by "ooops oh gosh this obviously wasn't meant for you!"

I don't think I'd seriously recommend doing this but the idea is quite entertaining!!

screwcovid · 11/06/2022 16:56

@WeAreTheHeroes they might not think I am on the shelf I am sure dating at my age is gonna be daunting

Thestoppedfan · 11/06/2022 16:58

My DH was like this when we first started dated and it drove me crazy. It was just the way he was, luckily we were friends beforehand and I saw he was the same in WhatsApp groups we were both part of. If we had met online I don’t think I would have put up with it.

unfortunatelyno · 11/06/2022 16:58

Why on earth do you want to be friends?! You barely know the man, and he's not your friend.

Block and delete.