Would you be put off by a man who doesn't drive?

[ItDoesMyHeadIn]

I was. Cancelled the date. I'm being too fussy apparently. To be fair my friend is married to a man who doesn't drive and he's amazing. Neither of my parents drive. The guy I was going to date could afford it, he just can't be arsed. He is happy to walk everywhere or use public transport. Up to him. But I would want to be with someone who can literally take the wheel sometimes. Like fuck do I want to be the one driving 8 hours up to Scotland for a holiday, or being the one to always collect the takeaway etc. I'm pretty traditional and sometimes I admit I would want my man to pick me up and take me out for dinner etc (fuck off crazy feminists, yes I can take myself out for dinner). I didn't actually realise how much of a deal breaker this was until it was put in front of me! Interested in opinions...

Everyone knows a PC is the superior gaming platform! Why do women have such low standards, etc ...

(looking at a PS4 as I write this :)

I would have at least met him but also judge harshly ☺️

Why? Neither I nor DH drive. We have perfectly good legs and use public transport if we can’t get somewhere, taxis if it’s obscure. We live semi rurally and it’s not been an issue. He’s currently learning to drive as there’s some holidays we think will be easier with a car but it’s not a huge deal

Crikey, I didn't realise non-drivers were so disliked 😅

I have tried to learn, but my brain could never absorb it. I probably couldn't afford to run a car anyway.

But why is this skill not taught in schools?

People who say people who drive are lazy are lazy thinkers who are hiding the truth from themselves.

Yet it seems* *ok to call those who don't drive lazy and that's ok.

I have to say, that was my first thought. And I'm very long term single!

Are there so few driving men on the dating scene?

My soon to be h can't drive. But it's medical and doesn't really bother me as I prefer to drive. Plus we live in London (well it's zone 5 on the underground...) so he can get around fine without me.

And if I'm at work and he has to take out 10 year old to an appointment or whatever there's decent transport or if all else fails uber.

Can't get worked up about xboxes etc as dp works in the industry so we have a fair few for testing purposes and he uses it to connect with his family who live miles away once dd is in bed. I would have an issue if it took over family time though.

However date whoever you like. I wouldn't be seen dead with a guy who has a man bun. Or who has a preference for hawaiian shirts. It all depends on your lifestyle.

Imagine how the already busy roads would be if everyone could drive! 🤯 I can't drive and I'm the opposite of lazy.. I walk everywhere to catch buses and trains.

@BiscoffSundae
What does the cat buy at the shop?

I think he's very fortunate that not driving is a deal breaker for you.

A Furrari. It's re-tail therapy.

I'll get my coat.

It would definitely put me off as I love exploring villages, countryside, going on random drives etc. I also don't love driving, so I'd rather share the load. Also it's much easier to get work if you can drive, whether that's getting to work, or picking up shifts as a delivery driver for example.

How could driving be taught in schools? It would be a logistical nightmare.

These discussion always remind me how middle class and privileged Mumsnet is. The vast majority of my friends can’t afford to drive. We stay local, use public transport and probably have more important things to worry about in our lives. It always fun to stumble onto Mumsnet and check how the other half live.

If someone had a medical issue and couldn't drive, that is very different to just being lazy.

How does not being a driver equate to being lazy? Cars are not the only mode of transportation. Perhaps someone chooses not to drive for exercise and fitness (there are bikes, for example), or to not contribute towards / reduce environmental damage. Not driving can easily be a positive choice. And not everyone wants or needs to drive 8 hours to Scotland (or wherever).

If this was reversed and a man was so shallow as to judge a women based solely on their ability to drive he'd quite rightly get jumped all over - especially if he suggested it was the result of being lazy.

How could driving be taught in schools? It would be a logistical nightmare

Isn't it taught in other countries though?

Theory could be taught in schools couldnt it?

I agree. It would put me off mainly because it says a lot about their attitude to life - I.e. can't really be bothered to do things that involve a modicum of hassle

Yanbu

Medical issues aside I'd see it as selfish and lazy tbh. It's a basic life skill.
I live rurally and you're stuffed if you don't drive.

I don't understand the weird status/attractiveness thing that MN appears to attach to the ability to drive. And definitely not the virtual thigh rubbing over men's arms when reversing a car Or the derision directed at people who don't drive. It would be much better for the environment if fewer people drove and more used bikes or public transport. Driving might be pretty much essential for some people, depending on personal situation and geographical location, but it's nonsense to suggest that people aren't proper adults unless they can drive. For the record, this isn't a defensive viewpoint- both dh and I drive.

Medical issues aside I'd see it as selfish and lazy tbh. It's a basic life skill.
I live rurally and you're stuffed if you don't drive.

I live rurally too. The (admittedly few) people I know around here who don't drive are arguably the least lazy - they are the ones who cycle and walk everywhere and they are super fit!

Yeah I mean catching a bus, train, cycling or walking involve no hassle at all. 🙄

My dad drives to his local shop, which is less than a 5 minute walk away. That is lazy.