Would you be put off by a man who doesn't drive?

[ItDoesMyHeadIn]

I was. Cancelled the date. I'm being too fussy apparently. To be fair my friend is married to a man who doesn't drive and he's amazing. Neither of my parents drive. The guy I was going to date could afford it, he just can't be arsed. He is happy to walk everywhere or use public transport. Up to him. But I would want to be with someone who can literally take the wheel sometimes. Like fuck do I want to be the one driving 8 hours up to Scotland for a holiday, or being the one to always collect the takeaway etc. I'm pretty traditional and sometimes I admit I would want my man to pick me up and take me out for dinner etc (fuck off crazy feminists, yes I can take myself out for dinner). I didn't actually realise how much of a deal breaker this was until it was put in front of me! Interested in opinions...

oh, and for the person who asked how us non-driving train commuters were getting to work today, complete with 😁 face about the joy of imagining others struggling - I’m on leave, but if I wasn’t I’d be able to work from home. Still, bet rail strikes teach me a lesson about having a job with a disability that prevents driving, eh? 😁😁😁😁

I would think employers that know staff take the train to work would be expecting them to not make it in , there's been enough warning for it to be discussed.

Being blind in one eye doesn’t mean you can’t drive - I know someone who does, but I respect your husband’s decision not to, as it doesn’t seem that safe to me.

Did you read the poster upthread who said that even with free parking it costs £80 to drive into Central London? Never mind that it's so much slower, with traffic and parking to account for.

Saves on the cost of a gym membership too, no wonder there's an obesity epidemic in this country, we've all become so sedentary.

Most trains have a/c these days, all included in the fare (so it doesn't cost you an extra 10% like turning it on in the car does). The Met/Circle/District/H&C lines, plus the new Elizabeth line are all fully air conditioned so lovely and cool when you board (unlike when you first get in a car that's been parked in the sun).

And there certainly is a subset of drivers who despite being perfectly able-bodied and close to decent public transport couldn't cope without their cars.

@DdraigGoch

And there certainly is a subset of drivers who despite being perfectly able-bodied and close to decent public transport couldn't cope without their cars.

Rubbish. People are no more dependent on cars than people are dependent on public transport. Indeed, many MANY people are let down WAAAAY more by public transport than people are let down by their cars. I have known LOADS of people who have lost wages because of public transport failures/strikes - or have had to book holiday leave they didn't want to book. Along with being late for appointments and events... Yes a car can let you down, and traffic jams occur, but public transport fails are WAY more common. AND it's hot and stuffy and smelly on public transport too.

Everyone who drives is as perfectly capable of getting public transport, (be that bus, train, taxi or plane,) as people who travel by public transport all the time. It doesn't suit the narrative of the non-drivers to admit that though. It suits them better to pretend that drivers are so thick that they can't catch a bus or train without a clever little non-driver aiding them. PMSL As I say, I don't know a SOUL who would think that in real life.

Good luck getting a train this next 2 weeks, OR a tube train (THEY are striking to soon.) AND there's no replacement bus service.

Yeah, public transport is soooooooo much better than going by car. You crack on with your car-less life, I will stick with the luxury of my lovely, convenient for everything, air conditioned car.

The TUBE strike is TODAY actually (and 'too', not 'to'); there isn't a need for replacement BUSES because the regular ones are RUNNING as USUAL, although I got the DLR earlier. They're very busy of course, but no busier than the (non bus lane) TRAFFIC.

You crack on with your car-less life, I will stick with the luxury of my lovely, convenient for everything, air conditioned car

Well I'm sure one thing we can all agree on is that the above will make life infinitely more pleasant for everybody concerned.

You crack on with your car-less life, I will stick with the luxury of my lovely, convenient for everything, air conditioned car.

People are perfectly happy to crack on with their car-less lives, though. You seem to be the one that has such a problem with other people not driving, something that does not affect you in the slightest. Honestly, why do you care SO much about this? Nobody’s coming to take your car away from you.

What will HAPPEN is that those who can't get to WORK because of the strikes will have to WFH while those with AIR CONDITIONED cars will have to haul ass into the office. Enjoy your commute Purple 😬

I think this whole argument boils down to:

Drivers can use car or public transport.
Non drivers can only use public transport.

Thus having to find a work around which a driver does not. Factor in young children, job opportunities, health, elderly parents, tube strikes, the work arounds for not driving get larger for non drivers.

Everyone who drives is as perfectly capable of getting public transport, (be that bus, train, taxi or plane,) as people who travel by public transport all the time.

@PurpleButterflyWings read back through the thread then to find the tale of the woman who when her car was out of action was basically marooned at home. The very idea of walking or getting the bus was beyond her. Also when I want to make my own way to somewhere, people will keep pushing lifts on me and won't take "no, thank you" for an answer. As if they couldn't comprehend that walking a mile or so isn't that difficult.

Someone at work was asking if I was going to get a car before the winter. Er no, I've managed to cycle to work daily for the last two winters without succumbing to the elements (my bank balance is much healthier moreover), so why would I need a car? People just cannot understand that life can exist without one.

In addition, the petrol may be high priced at the moment, but it's STILL cheaper to run a car than it is to pay EXTORIONATE public transport fares!

Last time that my dad came to visit, he worked out that it would have cost £64 in fuel alone for the 400 mile round trip (never mind all of the other costs incurred in owning and running a car). Instead he took his bike on the train for £37 return. He didn't even have to book way in advance for that, just a couple of days.

Average annual costs of running a car are £3k/year. A typical commute around here would be around £1.5k/year by rail or £600 by bus. Quite a saving.

The Elizabeth Line is gloriously air conditioned, and can get me into central London in about 17 minutes flat. A trip that could easily take an hour stuck in traffic if made by car.

No issue travelling into London by tube/DLR today with the strikes, not even that busy actually!

Also disabled people living in London get free public transport on all trains and tubes within greater London and all buses nationwide (I'm aware this is extremely, extremely shit for disabled people living outside of London).

@DdraigGoch i don’t think that experience is entirely accurate though for all non drivers. I live in a commuter town in Hertfordshire. Most people can drive that I know from school or locally, i know very few non drivers because it’s a bit of a necessity if you want to get anywhere fast… but a lot of them all still get public transport daily to central London. It’s not beyond people to do both.

I rode my bike to the shopping centre today because I chose to, not because I had to: A non driver has fewer choices.

I was going to say that I would like them to drive. However I then realised my DP who has now passed couldn't drive, it depends on how much you fancy them!
Ours was instant lust , together a long time and I sort of forgot he never drove.

I fell for my DH as he looked so good driving. Now for health reasons he doesn't drive and I miss it.

Bus pass holders in Merseyside get free travel on Merseyrail, and on National Rail services within the region.

In Greater Manchester bus pass holders can pay a £10 annual fee to get free train/tram travel within Greater Manchester.

Certain rural lines in Wales offer Welsh bus pass holders free travel.

It's certainly not beyond most people to do both, that's why I described a "subset" who wouldn't even consider a reasonable alternative.

Likewise see the posts wailing "but what if it rains? Won't you mess up your spray tan?", people can't conceive that it's a non issue.

I just find it fascinating how ardently and passionately some of the drivers on this thread are arguing about driving and the merits of it.

If a 'non-driver' (ugh) is not asking for lifts, or looking to use car transport, and is getting about perfectly fine on public transport, that's one fewer car on the road to cause traffic.

Why not let them enjoy their life and their choices?

I am a car owner, but drivers like some on this thread are so visibly insecure. It's like, they are so proud they own a car that it's not enough to just drive the bloody thing where they want to go, and do it without telling us.

No, it's "look at my luxury air conditioned car" and "you'll be waiting for hours for a cancelled train".

It's all traits of people who need to feel important through their choices.

I work from home too. Sorry to disappoint you.

I use my car when I need it, for leisure, day trips, medical appointments, seeing friends and family, shopping etc. And I don't have to depend on other people to run me around because all the public transport is fucked/on strike/late/broken down/cancelled. Enjoy being stuck at home because you can't get anywhere because you can't DRIVE.

@suckingonchillidogs

Also, how incredibly narrow minded to assume EVERYONE who doesn't drive has a job where they can work from home. Many people don't, and will just lose WAGES or be forced to use holiday leave!

You keep dishing out this 'narrow minded' accusation, yet here you are spouting your tunnel visioned assumptions about non-drivers; calling them childish and uneducated, and bragging about how life is so wonderful and carefree as a driver as if nobody could ever possibly live any other way but how you do🙄

So the only reason that you weren't getting stuck in the traffic jams was that you weren't driving? And if you had driven you would have ended up crawling along with the rest of them, racking up the fuel bills?

Hardy an advert for driving: "Air conditioned traffic jams"

Bring back British Rail:

For people who are apparently so secure in their choice, they're getting very defensive about it. Must be trying to suppress the feelings of environmental guilt, or something.

I still can't understand the depth of feeling from some who are not in the slightest bit affected by others not driving yet carrying on with their lives.
It would seem that that is offensive to some people and I really don't understand why it should be unless the feeling is that someone who can't or doesn't want to drive, but is still capable of having things like jobs, doing shopping and having children and holidays, somehow devalues driving?
I don't know why it should, but the anger, aggression and vitriol that's directed at non drivers who have the nerve to get on with their lives without a car has to be rooted in something deep, some drivers seem to take it personally that other people can't drive and actually manage life without it - why?

I'm willing to admit that I was mildly affected by the train strike, but it was no hardship. I'm self-employed, and often work from home, but had some other work to do elsewhere yesterday. I would have got a train, and walked the rest of the way. Train cancelled, but I just got up a bit earlier, walked a bit further to get a bus. It was an early morning bus, and not at all crowded. It was a pleasant journey, and although I worried a bit before, it was all good, and a small price to pay, as I support the strikers.
Funnily enough, one of the things I like about not having a car is the challenge and adventure sometimes of figuring out how to get from a to b! There's always a way, and I've always got my two feet, if all else fails.
No doubt some people were badly affected by the strike, and it's not that nice to laugh at their misery. Lots of non-drivers are poor. Very unpleasant to type smile emojis in the face of others' struggles.