Would you be put off by a man who doesn't drive?

[ItDoesMyHeadIn]

I was. Cancelled the date. I'm being too fussy apparently. To be fair my friend is married to a man who doesn't drive and he's amazing. Neither of my parents drive. The guy I was going to date could afford it, he just can't be arsed. He is happy to walk everywhere or use public transport. Up to him. But I would want to be with someone who can literally take the wheel sometimes. Like fuck do I want to be the one driving 8 hours up to Scotland for a holiday, or being the one to always collect the takeaway etc. I'm pretty traditional and sometimes I admit I would want my man to pick me up and take me out for dinner etc (fuck off crazy feminists, yes I can take myself out for dinner). I didn't actually realise how much of a deal breaker this was until it was put in front of me! Interested in opinions...

If walking and public transport meets his needs, then what is the point of learning to drive?
I learnt to drive in my 30s.. the only reason was that I could not carry stuff on a motorbike.

@BiscoffSundae

Are you always so stupid?

Are you?

If walking and public transport meets his needs, then what is the point of learning to drive?

Presumably it didn't meet @BertieQueen's needs. Which would be fair enough.

@BiscoffSundae

Not the sharpest tool in the shed are you? Saying you have not been in a car for 2 years, and then say you've been in a taxi, which is a CAR!

Oh dear. #embarrassedforyou

Good public transport does exist outside of London, you know.

I don't live in London (or in any other city, I'm not even in a town, though not far from a very small one). Buses pass the end of my village twice per hour. Another four buses per hour call at the town at the bottom of the hill (10-15min walk). They run from 6am until 11pm. If I want to travel outside of these times then the nearest railway station is only 2.5 miles away (an easy cycle or not a bad walk), with the first eastbound train before 5am and the last westbound one after 1am.

If she can drive, and has a car, then what is she missing out on?

I still feel that a MAN not being able to drive is icky, wet, and off-putting.

HTH.

If she can drive, and has a car, then what is she missing out on?

A boyfriend that does his share of the driving presumably.

There was pp who said she didn't drive, and was put off by a man who didn't too. Hypocritical , much?

Why is it ok for a woman to not drive, but it is an "essential life skill" for men?

Presumably the taxi was the car she was in two years ago? As she said?

Your reading comprehension could do with work. As could your manners.

She said that she hasn't been in a car in two years.

She said that the last time that she was in a car (at least two years ago), that car was a taxi.

I think what I’ve learnt on this over the years is that a man not driving is somehow weak, a bit rubbish, not to be dated and not a real adult

a wonan not driving is fine

Depends where you live and what sort of lifestyle you have I suppose. I wouldn’t want to be the only one who could pop to the supermarket, or drive a sick person to hospital, or take the kids to school. If you live in a city centre it’s probably not an issue.

You’re the only one embarrassing yourself, I said I last in a car two years ago and it was a TAXI, where did I say a taxi isn’t a car? The last time I went in a car it was a hired vehicle aka a taxi, and that was 2 years ago, what part of that don’t you understand? Seems you don’t need brains to drive 😅. I will explain it for you more slowly, I was pointing out it was a service I had paid for not a lift begged off a friend and it was 2 years ago, I haven’t been in a car since I’ve never claimed not to use taxis I was pointing out that it was something I paid for, I don’t beg lifts off people. Embarrassed for you 🤦🏻‍♀️

You don’t understand the difference between pointing out a taxi (as in a hired vehicle) is different from getting a lift from a friend? Failing to understand what you are confused by. Even my friends that drive use taxis on nights out so they can drink as much as they want.

The question was whether we'd be romantically put off by a man who didn't drive. Most of the people on the site are heterosexual women.

It's going to shape the answers.

I think most people would take not driving over nasty and stupid. Excepting cases of assortative mating.

I always think men driving individual private cars look like little Playmobil people, and that's not sexy - nothing like hailing a cab or straphanging on the tube or sprinting for the crosstown bus like a proper manly man! 💪Driving is still a useful skill to have as long as you never use it, but there are a lot of other skills a great many people seem not to have leaned.

You can turn anyone down for any reason (thanks, crazy feminists!) and no one should judge you for it. In a life where operating a vehicle is really important and happens a lot, it's reasonable to want to share the burden. I don't see why it makes a difference WHY he doesn't drive, though - narcolepsy or laziness, you're still doing the driving when and if it's just the two of you and an owned/rental car's the only option (which is rare, but possible). So that part seems unattractively judgey.

LOL at "my man", tho - not sure whether to picture Geoffrey from Fresh Prince or the actresses who were paid to fake-lunge at each other on US talk shows from the '80s accusing each other of "stealing my man!"
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I would be being very hypocritical as I don't drive. What do you want? A partner or a chauffeur?
My dh does drive and loves it so much he is currently looking to change professions after getting an HGV licence.
What would you think of a bloke who wouldn't date you because you couldn't cook and said he was old fashioned in that way? Sorry OP but I think you sound like a spoilt princess.

I think some people don't want to learn to drive. Suits them to let others do it. Shove as much responsibility as possible onto someone else/their partner. Women have enough responsibility in the home and family as it is. Imagine being a woman with a man who can't drive, and you have all the driving duties/ chores/ responsibilities too. Urgh, no, I couldn't be arsed with a man who can't drive. Virtually 100% of EVERYTHING would fall to you.

I can't understand any woman not wanting to drive either. Opens so many doors, and IME, women (and men) who CBA to learn to drive, don't end up getting very far in any career. Shows a lack of ambition and motivation, and an unwillingness to learn anything. If you CBA to learn to drive, why should anyone promote you into a high position in any career? Nobody I know is in a good job/career when they can't drive.

Though I am sure a bunch of people will come on here now with stories of loads of people they know (or themselves) can't drive, but have a RG university degree, are in a top-of-the-tree niche career, and have a £250K a year salary!!!

What do you want? A partner or a chauffeur?

Depends on what time of day it is and whether I'm horny.

My DH doesn't drive (yet!) and he's 34. It is so annoying as whenever I need to take him, our the kids, to the hospital, it has to be me that does it. It's very annoying.

If you live in an area well served by public transport then it shouldn't be an issue. For long journeys eg holidays, why not go by train or coach to save one person having to do all the driing?

Makes it very impractical if you want do something like go for a walk somewhere remote or have flexibility as to when you leave.

I don't see why it makes a difference WHY he doesn't drive, though - narcolepsy or laziness, you're still doing the driving when and if it's just the two of you and an owned/rental car's the only option (which is rare, but possible). So that part seems unattractively judgey."

I think there's a big difference between not driving out of laziness vs a medical condition. You wouldn't criticise somebody in a wheelchair for never walking anywhere.