DH gone camping

[campingwidow]

AIBU?

I have an 8 week old and a 2 year old with DH. Baby had her first lot of immunisations yesterday, was understandably v clingy and upset.

DH came through from doing toddler bedtime and goes "I'm off camping, I'll be back tomorrow" and off he went in our (only) car. No idea where he's gone or when he'll be back

AIBU for being a bit annoyed?

“A bit” annoyed?

A bit?

I’d be telling him to prepare to live permanently under canvas.

YANBU.

How are you going to handle it?

I'd be so fucked off. YANBU.

If my baby was bottle fed I'd be off for a.night as soon as he get back.

Do the same thing. In a few days tell him "I'm going camping. Bye now!" and disappear for a couple days."

What, no twins?

Don't be there when he gets back.

So he's been buying loads of camping equipment over the last few months. And watching loads of nothing YouTube videos about it. So he genuinely is camping. This is the first time he's gone with the new kit. We had a bit of an argument about an hour before he left.

Yeah. Tent, sleeping bag, mattress, cooking stove the lot. I've no doubts he went camping. He's been going on about wanting to go for ages. Would just have liked more than 5 mins notice!

Apparently it "didn't affect me at all in anyway" as he'd already put toddler to bed before he went and came back early (10am, been up for 4 hours by then)

Thanks you've made all the points more eloquently than I could.

Oh for god sake🙄 always the same on here

Where did he go?

Did you have a blazing row beforehand?

I mean it's still really shitty behaviour on his part, but the only way this remotely makes sense is on the back of a blazing row where one person announces "I'm off" and then just leaves.

With an 8 week old it's still totally unacceptable! But I can't see a situation whereby it was perfectly harmonious in the house in the lead up to this, and then one person just goes "right I'm off". Makes no sense ....

We had a bit of an argument about an hour before he left

Ah I see my question has been answered!

(He's still a knob)

On what planet does him leaving you with an 8 week old and toddler and taking the family car not affect you

Is he dim?

Surely he’d have had to pre-book the campsite? Unless you’re in Scotland or somewhere you can legally just wild camp.
if he had already booked the campsite then it wasn’t as spur of the moment as he made out.
just because he’s got all the gear in the car doesn’t mean he’s using it.

OP, my DP does this occasionally on the back of an argument. I don't mean camping- i he's never done that. But he has occasionally after a row sort of taken himself off upstairs out of the way then come back a while later and out of the blue announced "I'm going out for a bit". Then off he goes. No discussion. It used to really upset me, as it wasn't planned or discussed and I had no idea when he would be back. But now I've learned it's his way of cooling off. He inevitably always returned an hour or 2 later and he was calm enough to talk it over.

Is it possible your DH has said he's going camping but he's just wanting to cool off after the argument and he'll come back in a short while?

I guess he felt the need to get out of there. And there's loads of stuff on Youtube about stealth camping. It's definitely a thing.

When he comes back book yourself into a spa for the weekend and say ‘I’m off for a couple of days, kids are all yours’

Yeah I think this is right. Unfortunately since I'm bf baby chances of me doing the same are slim to none!

This if that he aspires to be. It's not the camping it's the lack of notice and consideration that's bothered me.

I think the argument is relevant though OP. Otherwise it sounds really, really bizarre - all is fine and dandy, ticking along nicely and then "I'm off camping now my love, see you later". I think that's why posters are finding it strange. I'd you had mentioned the argument in your OP i wouldn't have personally gone "what the fuck?!" on first reading, if that makes sense. In the aftermath of a row, it's a more understandable behaviour, albeit I accept it is still very selfish of him to disappear for an entire night just to cool off. A few hours maybe, but not the whole night.

Its5 not good though when OP has 2 young dc.
In fact it's immature and irresponsible.
He can't assume OP will just stay and get on with the parenting but he doesn't have to.

@Whooshaagh

Hence why my last post says:

I accept it is still very selfish of him to disappear for an entire night just to cool off.

I do 100% think it's selfish behaviour, even on the back of an argument.

My point was that, without the context of the argument, it reads as though all is fine and dandy in the family and then DH goes "see you later, I'll be off now for the night!" Which is very, very odd. So the argument gives it a context which makes it an understandable response, albeit it's still a selfish one imo.

He is being massively unreasonable.

I hope he’s camping near me because the weather’s rotten - blowing a gale and chucking it down. Hope his tent leaks, his sleeping bag makes him itch, his gas canisters are empty, and he picked a field with a herd of overly friendly cows who trample everything.