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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH gone camping

149 replies

campingwidow · 11/06/2022 10:23

AIBU?

I have an 8 week old and a 2 year old with DH. Baby had her first lot of immunisations yesterday, was understandably v clingy and upset.

DH came through from doing toddler bedtime and goes "I'm off camping, I'll be back tomorrow" and off he went in our (only) car. No idea where he's gone or when he'll be back

AIBU for being a bit annoyed?

OP posts:
Herejustforthisone · 11/06/2022 11:02

What the fuck? What a selfish cunt.

I wouldn’t be letting him walk back in tomorrow.

ButterflyBitch · 11/06/2022 11:07

I thought you were going to say he’d taken an older child with him but to just fuck off on his own?! Nah. My husband has taken our daughter and son camping on his own as a fun activity to do with the kids but that’s fine with me. Who’s he with?

Aprilx · 11/06/2022 11:07

A bit annoyed? Perhaps there is some wider context, but if he literally just did that, with no prior conversation about a camping trip, then I would be more than a bit annoyed. It is inconceivable in my marriage that either one of us would do something like that and we would not even be leaving the other holding the baby, it is still disrespectful.

SleepCheeseBeer · 11/06/2022 11:10

I'd be livid. A planned trip fine, but to fuck off and take the only car takes the piss.

Trolltrotters · 11/06/2022 11:10

Shock maybe he'd like to camp - permanently.

I'm assuming the way you've written OP this was not agreed previously and he'd just gone on a last minute jolly, but even if you HAD previously agreed, shit changes with tiny kids and he should have asked again given the new circumstances and not left you struggling

mynameisbrian · 11/06/2022 11:11

Annoyed are you joking? My DH wouldn’t treat me and my kids with such disregard and think it’s acceptable to just announce he was away for the night without any discussion at all - your not his mum he is your DH. Your meant to be a team. I am assuming he would be just as happy if you announced your off out for the night and leaving him with the DC.

Maves · 11/06/2022 11:12

Did he actually take a tent? This is very strange and fucked up tbf

MarmiteOnToast · 11/06/2022 11:15

Without a doubt id do thw same next weekend get up Saturday morning and fuck off till Sunday night. With the car!

A bit different if planned but wtf just get up and sod off no explanation nothing.
Actually if he had form for it, id use it as an opportunity to pack hie bags.

RedToothBrush · 11/06/2022 11:16

The issue isn't the camping.

Its the no notice, no information, no car and no thought for you thats the problem. And the why no and why so suddenly bit.

ReneBumsWombats · 11/06/2022 11:16

How have you reached a point where this is normal?

lisavanderpumpscloset · 11/06/2022 11:16

You're a saint for being a bit annoyed. I'd be thoroughly fucked off and he'd return home to find his shit on the drive and the doors locked

Lex345 · 11/06/2022 11:17

Yes YABU to be "a bit annoyed"

Crank it up to "fucking furious" and YANBU

Lizzieismagic · 11/06/2022 11:20

Euphemism for shagging around maybe? Or he is just a selfish twat...

Namechanger355 · 11/06/2022 11:21

This is definitely not normal

either he is having an affair or is having a breakdown tbh

DonnyBurrito · 11/06/2022 11:22

Please tell me you didn't just meekly watch him go...?

Fraaahnces · 11/06/2022 11:25

I’d be calling the police to report the car as stolen. How fucking dare he???

Leafyhouse · 11/06/2022 11:28

He's blowing off steam - either he was going to shout and sulk, or go off for a night. He re-assured you on the way out that he'd be straight back. Cut him some slack for a night - then head off next weekend and stay in a hotel for the night. 😀

BigSandyBalls2015 · 11/06/2022 11:30

Surely you’d have seen him getting stuff together and packing up the car … camping doesn’t ‘just happen’! How odd.

Mally100 · 11/06/2022 11:31

lisavanderpumpscloset · 11/06/2022 11:16

You're a saint for being a bit annoyed. I'd be thoroughly fucked off and he'd return home to find his shit on the drive and the doors locked

I don't think she's a Saint. They probably have a really poor relationship. So he walks off, she doesn't ask a single question, says nothing, just meekly annoyed. There's probably a huge toxic backstory

Wheresthebeach · 11/06/2022 11:31

Camping takes a deal of organisation. Tents, sleeping bags, gas cookers and all manner of stuff. No notice, no obvious getting ready or chat …. Nah.

D0lphine · 11/06/2022 11:34

What an absolute joke of a "man".

Mally100 · 11/06/2022 11:35

BigSandyBalls2015 · 11/06/2022 11:30

Surely you’d have seen him getting stuff together and packing up the car … camping doesn’t ‘just happen’! How odd.

exactly, says nothing. 🤔

grapewines · 11/06/2022 11:37

That sounds like a relationship not working at all. Why didn't you say anything?

sandragreen · 11/06/2022 11:39

Flabbergasted here. The car would be the least of my concerns.

Is this new behaviour or has he always been a selfish dickhead?

TheMarmaladeYears · 11/06/2022 11:40

My ex-h wasn't the most responsible of fathers when the dcs were small but I can confidently say that this sort of caper is something he'd never have considered. Pre-arranged camping trips are just fine. Disappearing off into the twilight in your only car leaving you with a tiny, under-par baby and a toddler is wrong on many levels. Does he have form for this sort of thing?