Can our wedding venue do this??? Any lawyers?!

[RedWineRage]

Posting here for traffic....and also some perspective/help/ideas!

Getting married this summer. Reception venue is stately home-type place which is open to the public but also does weddings, has done successfully for years. Top listed wedding venue in various magazines etc and very good reviews. So - not some shady outfit.

Email out of the blue this week - all rather breezy - due to several incidents at recent events, just to let you know we will no longer be serving red wine at all, with immediate effect.

But don't worry, we'll just swap that out for rosé in your drinks package.

What???

My mum only drinks red wine. Several family members prefer red wine. We planned to have beef as a main.

Totally unacceptable, right? They appear to be relying on some woolly clause in the contract around "it's a historic building, changes may need to be made to your wedding plan that are out of our control due to operational reasons" etc.

We're genuinely considering trying at short notice to get another venue, and trying to claim money back through small claims. Has anyone done this? Any ideas on how likely we are to be successful?

My mum can't not have an alcoholic drink at my wedding. Sorry I'm ranting and probably not being very rational.

Perspective and advice welcome!!

It’s not that OP didn’t know- they have changed the policy since she made her booking.

Could you offer a damage deposit as someone else suggested?

One of the more baffling posts I’ve read on mumsnet in a while…

Isn't going to a wedding about celebrating the love and relationship between two people?

It can get a bit too toddler-like as in 'My dinner is RUINED because there are carrots on my plate when I wanted peas.'

The last wedding I went to was all vegetarian because of the background of the groom's family. I didn't stomp around saying. 'This isn't a proper wedding because there is no chicken or fish or beef'. I enjoyed the delicious food and the celebrations.

Also, if your mum sneaks a bottle in at the suggestion of PP, be prepared to lose your deposit.

Only an absolute alcoholic would say “rose or red, who cares?”

What absolute tosh. I'm no alcoholic, in fact I don't drink much at all, and I really couldn't care.

You seem very angry....

If I went to a lavish wedding in an upmarket venue and was served beef with no option of red wine I would think someone had lost the plot.

Fine for those who don't like red, don't care about wine complementing food, don't drink etc....but for those that do, this is like being offered fish and chips without salt and vinegar and the only options for sauce being mint sauce or cranberry sauce.

I don’t think this is the right place to ask this. On MN, anything more than a sniff of sherry on Christmas Day means you’re a raging alcoholic and weddings are hideous wastes of money that means you’re surely doomed to a life of misery (cos having a wedding means you dONt ApPreCiaTe THe mArRiAge)

In real life, leaving aside the red wine, everyone would be pretty fucked off that they’d agreed to something, paid for it, put it in the contract then the venue had told them they couldn’t have it after all. Nothing to do with being a bridezilla, you pick somewhere that has what you want and pay a lot of money for it. Venues shouldn’t be then changing stuff around afterwards.

Lots of snobbery and reverse snobbery on this thread through. Rose wine can be delicious, it isn’t all piss. Don’t think it’s a replacement for red wine though.

Also, if your mum sneaks a bottle in at the suggestion of PP, be prepared to lose your deposit.

Plusa big bill if anything gets spilt etc.

There are other drinks available? No wonder people say weddings are stressful when people get so worked up.

Its a bit irritating if your guests prefer red wine. It wouldn't bother me in the least. Still why should you suffer because of other guests bad behaviour.

What a fuss over nothing. Everyone just drinks something else, surely!

And for those fusspots who ‘only’ drink red wine, maybe they should branch out a bit and try one of the countless number of alternative alcoholic drinks that are out there. There are literally hundreds of options and combinations.

A venue that is so precious that they can't allow normal wedding-type things to occur in it really shouldn't be hosting wedding receptions or should have already thought of this and included it in the original contract. Or they should find a way of protecting things and clearing up any spills professionally and promptly. Or as someone said, serve with the food but when people are going to be standing around, as a sensible compromise.

OP, I'd say if the menu including the drinks is a key part of your plans, then consider moving venue. Depends how complicated and expensive this would potentially be for you, and how far away from the date you are (2 years - go for it; 2 weeks - no way!)

Otherwise, I'd try to negotiate a discount as others suggested, relating both to the menu and cost of the different wines, and also for the general inconvenience and spoiling your plans. I'd go for the latter option because the wine wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me against the inconvenience of changing the venue. I always do try to neogatiate a refund when anything goes wrong😁

Changing the wine is highly unlikely to be deemed a material change, unless its a vineyard or a venue especially highly regarded for its wine offerings.

You said you were thinking of having beef, which reads as it isn't set in stone, so just change the meal choice.

If insurers won't cover red wine damage, it's unlikely you could front a deposit large enough to cover the potential cost of it. And whoever said its no different to JD and coke - it absolutely is.

It's disappointing if your favourite drink isn't available when you go to an event, but it isn't the end of the world by any stretch. I'm yet to meet an adult who truly only likes 1 drink.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. If they can't cope with serving what is a pretty standard drink, they shouldn't open their house/hotel to the public. What about other drinks? Do they have a clear drinks only policy? And pale foods only? Absolutely ridiculous!

This would annoy me too but try a compromise, perhaps red wine can served only at the table during the meal and not at the bar afterwards? How much damage can you do sitting down with a glass? Ignore the saints on here who think that not wishing to forego your favourite celebratory drink at your daughters wedding makes you a full on alky. I wouldn't want to spend the party with them. Good luck for your wedding OP

FFS it is a historic venue , not a restaurant! The chief responsibility is preserving the condition of the building and its contents. The 'they should have insurance' comments are ludicrous. They rightly want to preserve the original finishes, not modern 'reroduction' repairs!

You planned to have beef as a main, and that’s now indelible?

I can understand why you're upset.

Wine is a real pleasure in life. (For lots of people)

And you are no doubt paying huge amounts to try to create a day which provides real enjoyment and celebration for your guests.

The imposition of no red wine when you are paying so much must feel very galling.

But in reality there's probably not much you can do about it. So try to think through what will work to ensure your mum and other guests can still enjoy some wine.
A particular white? Champagne? Try some rose?
I think you'll have to try to not let it spoil things, which I'm sure in the long run it won't.

I don't think it is reasonable at all of a venue to change this after booking and I would be furious. I wouldn't be prepared to pay for any rose and feel white wine with beef would ruin dinner.

I would never consider booking a venue with those rules in place. To be honest, if they did the to me I think it would change the way I felt about the place and I would rethink having the wedding there because of that.

Surely they're better off putting a refundable 'damage' deposit on the cost?

So the people that do cause damage, pay

FFS, use your brain. It's not to stop people getting drunk, it's to stop people spilling a drink famous for staining, onto something priceless!

are you serious, a small claims court will just laugh at you

You can't have rosé with beef!!!

Well I can't, but that's perhaps why I've never been invited on Love Island.

Gosh that is ridiculous. I don't drink red but not having a nice glass of white would reduce my enjoyment and I assume plenty of people feel the same about red. They're surely not marketing themselves as a high end venue with quality catering and then suggesting you serve rose with beef?!