Can our wedding venue do this??? Any lawyers?!

[RedWineRage]

Posting here for traffic....and also some perspective/help/ideas!

Getting married this summer. Reception venue is stately home-type place which is open to the public but also does weddings, has done successfully for years. Top listed wedding venue in various magazines etc and very good reviews. So - not some shady outfit.

Email out of the blue this week - all rather breezy - due to several incidents at recent events, just to let you know we will no longer be serving red wine at all, with immediate effect.

But don't worry, we'll just swap that out for rosé in your drinks package.

What???

My mum only drinks red wine. Several family members prefer red wine. We planned to have beef as a main.

Totally unacceptable, right? They appear to be relying on some woolly clause in the contract around "it's a historic building, changes may need to be made to your wedding plan that are out of our control due to operational reasons" etc.

We're genuinely considering trying at short notice to get another venue, and trying to claim money back through small claims. Has anyone done this? Any ideas on how likely we are to be successful?

My mum can't not have an alcoholic drink at my wedding. Sorry I'm ranting and probably not being very rational.

Perspective and advice welcome!!

You sound like a bridezilla and ridiculous its not as if they have gone bankrupt and you lost money like some couples have suffered with.

@FearlessFreddie

Only an absolute alcoholic would say “rose or red, who cares?”

@PaddingtonBearStareAgain

What absolute tosh. I'm no alcoholic, in fact I don't drink much at all, and I really couldn't care.

You seem very angry....

Ah the predictable and patronising 'you seem very angry.......' in other words, the 'calm down luv, stop being hysterical' bullshit has kicked in.

Nowhere in fearlessfreddie's posts do they sound 'angry.' How fucking condescending. I suppose I am angry too am I?? No, not really, just eye-rolling at this stupid fucking comment 'YOU SOUND ANGRY.' Probably one of the most patronising misogynistic comments people make on here, designed to shut women down who have an opinion they dislike. OR an attempt to rile them, so they say something to get themselves banned.

This is probably the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read. Are you being serious? I can’t figure it out... you’re considering cancelling and rearranging your ENTIRE wedding day because there won’t be a few bottles of red wine?! Small claims court?! Wow.

"it's a historic building, changes may need to be made to your wedding plan that are out of our control due to operational reasons"

Sorry, but this covers them. Your only option is a change of venue.

I've only read a few responses but amazed at the posters who pretend to be confused at the concept of you being disappointed that your mum won't be able to enjoy the only wine she likes at her daughters wedding... It's a big day, you want all your family to enjoy it, if you care about food and wine pairing and have spent a lot on the wedding, it is reasonable to be frustrated at the situation. I think the best idea as others suggested is if you can't get round it, change main course to something that better complements white wine. The fact it's summer does lend itself to a lighter main course, if it were a winter or autumn wedding no red would be much more of an issue

*Note to myself......check venues for small print meaning I can't drink my favourite alcohol on my wedding day 🙈.
Yanbu

Cobblers. OP is not being a bridezilla at all! She has every right to be pissed off!

And it's funny how these fuckers reel people in, take their big deposits on the HUGE amount they are charging, and then move the goalposts, and change things/change the rules.

Fuckers like this deserve their business to go tits-up. Yeah, that's what I said.

NOT companies who have a set of rules and you need to accept them if you want your wedding there. Companies who LIE about what you are getting for your money. Reel you in, take your deposit, and then change the rules. They deserve for everyone to cancel, and for the business to go tits up.

#sorrynotsorry

Shocked at the number of comments here either belittling your frustration or insinuating your Mum night have an alcohol problem for wanting a glass of red at a wedding!
What's with all the judgement guys? I often find those whose weddings are long gone are quick to bring out the "bridezilla" card.
I totally understand your issue here - food and wine are paired together with thought for such an event and I would most certainly be annoyed.

Looks it's a pain but don't lose context. If it's that important do red wine 'favours' in a gift bag. But honestly , it's all a bit bridezilla. Just go with the flow, chill out and enjoy your day

There was no 'small print.' The OP chose the venue, (based on what she was offered and the information they gave to her,) and paid the deposit. Then they changed the rules AFTER.

Geewhiz in the grand scheme of things this is very minor. The church cancelled on us with four weeks notice because the BBC wanted to do some filming in the church.

This. ^ Yeah I think a lot of posters are pretending too. If what has happened to the OP, happened to any of THEM, you can bet they'd be squealing from the rooftops about it, and stamping their feet!

Red wine being potentially messy isn’t news. If your venue sold you a package that included red wine (or included an open or cash bar without it being clear that a common drink like red wine would not be available), then you should be very clear with the venue that you expect them to provide the package they sold you.

They are obviously free to change their rules for future bookings, but they cannot reasonably change your package after it has been sold unless there is some factor outside their control. Their delayed realisation that red wine carries some risks isn’t a good reason.

BUT I would be careful about assuming you could just claim money back from the small claims court. These contracts are often so heavily weighted in favour of venues that you’d have no certainty of succeeding.

First, see if you can speak to a manager. Explain that this change isn’t acceptable and ask if they would make an exception for your wedding. I wouldn’t bother trying workarounds like only doing red for part of the day - just go with a straightforward and polite (but firm) request that they run your wedding as planned when you booked it. Remind them that you’ll not be recommending the venue to others if they treat you this way.

If you get no joy through discussing, I would write to them to explain that you purchased a package that included red wine availability. Anything less than that is wholly unacceptable and outside the contract between you and the venue. That it was the responsibility of the venue to satisfy themselves that anything they offered could be provided at the time they accepted the booking, and the responsibility for managing the risks around that lies with them alone.

I would say that you expect confirmation that, regardless of any new rules they’ll put in place for future bookings that your booking will be honoured. Say that you expect this confirmation by X date (give them two weeks unless your wedding is really close).

Hopefully, just deferring their rule change until after your wedding will be the path of least resistance and they’ll want to keep you happy.

I don’t think it’s ridiculous at all. What’s ridiculous is the thought of a venue offering wine that doesn’t include red, particularly when they offer a menu of beef. Imagine turning up to a steak restaurant to find out they don’t serve red wine?

Its common curtesy to be able to offer your guests a range of drinks to chose from. And red or white wine is a pretty basic choice and is actually the bare minimum I would expect in terms of choice of drink.

OP I wonder if any of your guests will think you’ve banned red wine in case anyone spills it on your dress?!

I’m just baffled by a lot of the responses on here.

I do associate that indiscriminate approach to drinking with alcoholism or at least a drink problem. If that’s not you then great.

I'd be pissed off. I'm not an alcoholic and I don't even drink weekly anymore but I only like red wine and I wouldn't book a venue that wouldn't allow us to drink it.

Are you @RedWineRage's DM?!

I completely agree

I agree it's pretty shitty.

I don't really like coffee-prefer tea, so if I'd hired a place that I was told served both but then they changed it to only coffee I wouldn't be happy.

Sure I could do without, but if I'd known im the first place I probably wouldn't have booked there!

Can't believe so many people think this isn't a big deal, rose with beef is not in anyway the same as red! If they won't budge on the red wine I'd look to change the main course.

Yeah, I'd be annoyed and bemused by this - very odd!

If this kind of thing is true (sorry to pick on your post of the many which have said the same): why didn't they make this clear when the OP enquired about booking her wedding? It's fine if that's their policy, but they can't reasonably not mention it in the first place, then insist on it after the booking. That's the issue, not the nature of the venue.

I worked in a venue where red wine was not allowed for stand up receptions but was permitted at seated dinners in certain areas. So do check if that is possible. If not, they are not in breach of contract for this so you'd be wasting your time in a small claims court. Just adjust your menu and let your mum know in advance.

I would be annoyed too. Virtually everyone I know drinks red and not white with food. And I know only 2 friends that drink rose - and that has to be Whispering Angel. 😁

I get it's important that your guests have the best day. I'd be embarrassed if there was no red wine - particularly at the meal. And an arbitrary banning on a popular drink seems entirely unreasonable after you have booked the venue.

I suppose it's a problem with having destination weddings and also with the venue not being entirely clear.

When the law changed to allow legal ceremonies to be held other than in a church or register office in England and Wales lots of places applied to become wedding venues.

That was good in many respects particularly if you wanted a service and reception all under one roof especially in a hotel or historic building. But it contributed to expensive wedding packages where you are tied to the venue and things like this show that they are not always a good idea.

It was important to me to hold the ceremony in a particular place - a register office - and the reception in a restaurant where we could choose the food and wine. I'd be furious if the restaurant made this late and final change but I can't imagine they would.

People saying they wouldn't care if the wine or food was changed are being irrelevant. I would and it was our day and we were paying for it. I'd never dream of telling someone to get over a change in something they particularly wanted for their wedding.

It's more than the colour of the wine. We chose particular wines - champagne, white, red and a dessert wine to go with the food. I'd understand if they ran out but I'd expect a suitable alternative and either a discount or an upgrade at no extra cost.

I suspect the venue's get-out clause will cover them but OP should negotiate a change of food and/or a discount.