Can our wedding venue do this??? Any lawyers?!

[RedWineRage]

Posting here for traffic....and also some perspective/help/ideas!

Getting married this summer. Reception venue is stately home-type place which is open to the public but also does weddings, has done successfully for years. Top listed wedding venue in various magazines etc and very good reviews. So - not some shady outfit.

Email out of the blue this week - all rather breezy - due to several incidents at recent events, just to let you know we will no longer be serving red wine at all, with immediate effect.

But don't worry, we'll just swap that out for rosé in your drinks package.

What???

My mum only drinks red wine. Several family members prefer red wine. We planned to have beef as a main.

Totally unacceptable, right? They appear to be relying on some woolly clause in the contract around "it's a historic building, changes may need to be made to your wedding plan that are out of our control due to operational reasons" etc.

We're genuinely considering trying at short notice to get another venue, and trying to claim money back through small claims. Has anyone done this? Any ideas on how likely we are to be successful?

My mum can't not have an alcoholic drink at my wedding. Sorry I'm ranting and probably not being very rational.

Perspective and advice welcome!!

Technically you can and my DH who dislikes red wine does heathen that he is.

Personally though I prefer red with beef but I'm sure as a one off I would survive without it.

I think the issue here is that the OP's mother doesn't like any other alcoholic drink. So it's not as simple as a sub optimal swap.

Have you thought about cocktails OP? Maybe your mother can be accommodated in this regard? There must be some combination she might enjoy?

What she can't drink anything else at all? Bridezilla incoming! I can't believe you'd think to change your wedding venue over red wine, whenever I've been to weddings the bottle of red always gets left on the table anyway, not many people prefer it. It's not like they've said alcohol is banned, just drink something else.

I’m intrigued what a guest did to ban red wine. You will have to ask @RedWineRage

what are they other things you agreed to but knew about

and yes wouid have thought kids ribena would stain just as much or is it a child free wedding

You are over-reacting in every way. Your mum can certainly either drink something else or not have an alcoholic drink. So can you and your guests. It will make no difference. I can't even remember what alcohol we drank at our wedding reception apart from champagne. I just remember it was a lovely, happy occasion and DH's grandmas and my mam and aunt and uncle had a tea break in the garden between the meal and the party.

Any lawyers?
😂😂😂😂😂

I think the venue need to supply an alternative that suits your menu for the same price...

It seems a bit unfair and unrealistic on their part. What about port? Or cranberry punch or even Pimm's? They make just as much mess!

With all due respect,.if it's in the contract then as far as I'm aware, little chance, the devil is in the details, and it's up to you to read the fine print.. That said, all the best and positivity op, and congrats on the wedding.

I don't drink alcohol any more for health reasons. Yet, even I feel your pain over this! I completely get it. When I did have the odd red wine I loved it, especially at a wedding. You're paying a fortune it seems and they changed the goalposts. You have every right to be annoyed so it's very frustrating to see posts where people are expecting you to have no feelings over this.
So it really is not worth cancelling/ small claims etc over this. Just breathe through it and find another way for now. The suggestion ref being your own discretely and drink redders outside sounds reasonable. Explain the situation ref the venue change of policy.
Then after all this, maybe you'd want to complain and pursue that. You can always write a very public review if you feel there needs to be some consequence. I understand that they may have food reason but taking your money, getting you booked in then changing the goalposts is shitty so a negative review is warranted - unless they give you something as compensation in advance. Ask them whether you can have money off.
Have a great day!

Nasty! It's one day that happens to be a big event!

What a horrible thing to say, so fucking disingenuous too!

Of course it does make a difference. IMO tea tastes like bath water, I’d rather stick pins in my eyes than drink it at a wedding. Just because you’d be happy to drink tea or not drink at all doesn’t mean everyone else would.

I suspect this has something to do with their insrance policy.
If you have paid for red wine to go with the beef ask that the rose or white is provided for free on this ocassion as you wouldn't have chosen the beef.
They won't want bad publicity so I think that sounds fair enough.
Enjoy your wedding!

I hope you manage to find a solution which works out for you. Yes please do update us layer on.

@Jennarator Do you think the venue has handled it well?

I can't believe the responses you are getting here Op. It's totally unreasonable. If someone is serving a sit down meal with red meat then I would expect red wine to be an option. 99.9% percent of people are capable of consuming that in a civilised way no different to white wine or beer drinkers surely.

So you are unable or unwilling to drink

White wine
Rose wine
Champagne
Prosecco
Cava
Asti
Tokaji
Vodka
Gin
Rum
Tequila
Mezcal
Brandy
Armagnac
Calvados
Aquavit
Vermouth
Campari
Beer
Cider
Limoncello
Raki
Ouzo
Pernod
Amaretto
Cointreau

Just. Literally. Red wine and absolutely nothing else.

After the first couple of glasses, would anyone taste the difference between a carefully chosen red and one closer to a table wine? I doubt it, unless of course your mother is a wine buff, which I doubt.
As others have said, is it worth changing the venue for your your mother to have her preferred wine choice?
If your guests only memory and talking point would be the change of wine then you don't have reasonable guests.

Easy mother of the bride present...hip flask!!!!

I would very much notice if a wedding venue served beef with no option for red wine.

Everyone has got very hung up on the mother's preferred drink - but proposing to serve white or rose as the only options for a (presumably) upmarket and expensive beef main is just....weird. And unprofessional and not very credible in terms of decent catering.

Limoncello, as suggested above, does not pair well with beef. Yes, fine drink it, if you like it...and maybe you like horseradish on your trifle...fine!

I wouldn't drink white or rose with beef. Even though I can only drink red in small quantities without getting a migraine of such severity that euthanasia seems like an attractive option, nothing is nicer with beef than a good, full-bodied red. And I think the venue are cheeky fuckers moving the goalposts at what is really quite short notice. They know you won't be able to cancel and go elsewhere now.

I'd try asking if red wine can be served just with the main. If that doesn't work, I'd ask them to do a different main, at no extra cost to you, and make some suggestions of what you think would be suitable so they don't fob you off with chicken.

And does this mean no port with the cheese? That would be dreadful!

It's not an ordinary day though, it's a wedding. Don't be so flippant.

Erm, no, I said I wouldn’t drink tea in response to the poster who said that her wedding was lovely and people drank tea.

But you crack on with serving your guests near Pernod with their beef at your next event. Please do report back on how that goes down.

It was an indicative list of just a few possible drinks that the op's mother might be able to manage, as apparently an afternoon without red wine is unthinkable.

Just posting for follow up on the venue’s reasons for the no red wine ruling?🙄

Then perhaps you should address the OP with your weird 80s list of undrinkable spirits and ask her if her mother would drink any of those rather than addressing it to me, who is not in any way related to the OP?

You think rum, vodka, gin, champagne and beer are "undrinkable 80s spirits"? How idiosyncratic.