Can our wedding venue do this??? Any lawyers?!

[RedWineRage]

Posting here for traffic....and also some perspective/help/ideas!

Getting married this summer. Reception venue is stately home-type place which is open to the public but also does weddings, has done successfully for years. Top listed wedding venue in various magazines etc and very good reviews. So - not some shady outfit.

Email out of the blue this week - all rather breezy - due to several incidents at recent events, just to let you know we will no longer be serving red wine at all, with immediate effect.

But don't worry, we'll just swap that out for rosé in your drinks package.

What???

My mum only drinks red wine. Several family members prefer red wine. We planned to have beef as a main.

Totally unacceptable, right? They appear to be relying on some woolly clause in the contract around "it's a historic building, changes may need to be made to your wedding plan that are out of our control due to operational reasons" etc.

We're genuinely considering trying at short notice to get another venue, and trying to claim money back through small claims. Has anyone done this? Any ideas on how likely we are to be successful?

My mum can't not have an alcoholic drink at my wedding. Sorry I'm ranting and probably not being very rational.

Perspective and advice welcome!!

Amazed at how many people think this is okay! Especially at a prestigious venue where the whole food and wine thing is usually a big deal. I wouldn’t change venue but would do my best to nudge them a bit. It is totally unreasonable that you have to be disappointed on your wedding day because some drunken idiot at another party spilled it on the carpet or whatever. They know it’s wrong that’s why you got the breezy attitude. Just be clear with them that this would have been a game changer and you quite simply would not have booked your wedding with them under this condition. And when things aren’t specifically defined in a contract it’s a grey area. Talk to a lawyer for advice.

I’m sorry to say you are being a bit irrational about something so trivial and dare I say - a bit of a bridezilla!
They have clearly had issues with red wine stain ruining items in the building and have taken the decision to serve drinks which can be cleaned without causing such staining.

For one day, surely your Mum is more concerned about seeing her daughter marry than having her preferred tipple?

Don’t you just hate 1st problems. 😆
Yes, it disappointing but your guests won’t mind. The venue is filled with your family and friends all wanting to be there for your big day not the red wine. Enjoy the run up to it and don’t stress about it.

It’s not just a case of a couple of people preferring red wine, it goes with the choice of menu. Bit of a pain in the arse to have to get that changed now, or have wine that doesn’t go with it.

This is hilarious I think I might start practicing drinking rose too, just in case this should ever happen to me

Speak to them. It may be they can allow red wine at tables, but not in the bar or whatever. Maybe they will allow it at top table only. Perhaps you can exclude liability for stains on people's clothing (I.e. they won't pay for damage to clothing). Maybe you can get separate insurance for damage caused by red wine. Have a grown up conversation with them.

@Jennarator I don’t think this counts as a bridezilla moment, tbh. If I’d planned an event ( any event), organized the catering to include a main course traditionally served with a very common beverage that’s served almost everywhere, I’d be taken aback to receive a casual email saying that the very common beverage was no longer available.

It’s how the venue handled it that’s poor really. They should’ve called the OP with an apology and explained why red wine can’t be served.

As a bride who ended up with red wine on her dress I think no red wine is an excellent idea!
For anyone who cares: my dad was drinking a glass of red wine and turned around as I was walking towards him and we bumped into each other. He was mortified and I ran away shouting for my wedding co-ordinator to help. (Soda and white wine take it out but I can’t remember which to use first . Do one layer at a time and pat don’t rub)

Lots of people here saying get over it and surely your mum can go without wine. Well no she can’t and why should she! It’s your wedding, you should be able to drink what you want. I’d definitely want to talk to the venue and if it can’t be resolved, find somewhere else. Good luck with it!

yup you can do some serious staining with red wine. Sounds like insurance company added a new condition. IANAL but I'm pretty certain they can do this, the question is what you want to do in response?

I personally wouldn't have been thrown by this, but my wedding was an unusually laid back affair.

I would expect them to be flexible about 'knock on' changes e.g. if you want to change your main course away from beef if there won't be red wine to go with.

You could ask if your mum as mother of the bride could have a glass as a special accommodation but if it is the insurance it'll probably be no.

I guess if you want to cancel and go somewhere else the question is would you be legally entitled to your deposit back I can see if they lost their licence and wouldn't be serving alcohol at all that would be a major change to the service but I'm not sure substituting red for rose would count as enough to say they weren't fulfilling their end of the contract. So if that's what you want polite and friendly and asking very nicely might be the way to go.

Insurance for objects that may be hundreds of years old?

Not quite the point is it?

DD and SIL got married in lockdown with 15 guests and we opened three bottles of champagne in the car park. I'd hoped that Covid would help us get weddings into perspective! Obv not!

Really??
I thought you were going to say they had cancelled the wedding.
Your guests will just have to do without red wine.
Sounds as though a guest has spilt it and ruined something.

I would actually have a real problem with this. No because I’m a raging alcoholic, I don’t actually drink red, but because if I am hosting an event and entertain my guests I don’t think it’s acceptable to not offer them red wine with their meal. I can understand it might be an issue for the dancing and I could live with that but no, it’s not ok to not allow red wine with dinner.

I'm with you op.

The only acceptable place for rose is a bbq. White wine will not go with beef at all. I would have to change venues or the menu. I'm no supporter of bridezila behaviour, but food and drink is really important to most people at a wedding and it matters, despite what some on here say.

Not really relevant though is it

I'm referring to all the people (including you) who are weirdly equating 'no red wine' with 'no alcohol'. Today I've had vodka, demerara rum and Remy Martin - somehow I seem to have managed to knock back a fair bit of booze despite the terrible privation of no red wine.

It is absolutely a bridezilla moment.
To say her Mum cannot have an alcoholic drink is being unreasonable.
You can drink anything with any meal. With all going on in the world OP should give her head a wobble!

I'm with you, OP. This would be massive for myself and DP and I'd be pushing pretty hard to understand the reasons why.

It’s not great I would have to change the food choice and they should damn well accommodate that. Chicken or fish you can’t have beef at a posh event without red wine.

Is your mum an alcoholic?? Surely someone can go without a drink for 1 day? Maybe the venue are having an issue getting red wine. Honestly get over yourself.

*You can't" - er.... pretty sure you can! Yes it isn't the "right way" Mrs Bouquet but you are hardly going to get shot for it

Except for red wine at the Op's wedding.

One possibility might be the venue's insurance policy.

As pp's have already pointed out, the damage done by red wine in an historic setting can be considerable, running to many thousands of pounds.

If they have made a claim before or simply the insurance company may have reviewed their policy, it might be they are not covered for this type of damage.

If I was in this situation I'd speak to the venue and get an explanation. Then assuming some compromise can't be reached I'd look to change the menu away from beef and speak to a sommelier (as a pp suggested) to get some recommendations for non red wine her DM might like. The wine tasting idea at the venue was a great idea.

I wouldn't change the venue, I'd try to work with them to find a solution to the problem and hope they would show some flexibility/willingness to engage.

maybe the accidents have become more frequent, maybe their insurers have bcome more arsey?