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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was ridiculous?

179 replies

SnakeyCakey · 09/06/2022 09:01

Went to a cafe yesterday with my friend and my 13 month old baby.

Myself and my friend ordered food and drinks however my son is pretty fussy so he'll only have certain things. Every time we go out I take a small lunch box of the easy things he'll eat, yesterday I took a small wrap, cheese, chicken, some cucumber sticks and a banana.

Anyway, long and short of it is an employee wouldn't allow me to feed my son his packed lunch as they didn't allow people's own food in the cafe.

If we'd all wacked out a picnic I could understand but my friend and I were having food and drink purchased from there. Tried to explain the situation but he was having none of it so we had to quickly eat what we could and leave as my son was getting upset that there was no food for him.

AIBU to think this is complete overkill and to complain?

OP posts:
Original poster
SnakeyCakey · 09/06/2022 09:02

I've never had a problem with this anywhere else I've eaten.

OP posts:
CheesusWept · 09/06/2022 09:07

You could probably have purchased a wrap, chicken, cheese, cucumber sticks and a banana in the cafe though. You say he’s a fussy, not that he has special dietary requirements so you could have bought him a little something.

berksandbeyond · 09/06/2022 09:07

Well, as a business they're entitled to make their own rules and you're entitled to decide whether you want to go there again. I would be embarrassed to take a lunch box to a cafe - there was really nothing on the menu your child could eat? Or could share with you? I would have chosen another cafe in that case

Aprilx · 09/06/2022 09:11

Not bringing your own food to a cafe / restaurant sounds like a reasonable policy to me. It sounds like he eats regular food too, I think taking out a full packed lunch like that was a bit cheeky.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 09/06/2022 09:13

None of the food you have mentioned is difficult to purchase in a cafe. Neither is it baby specific. I suspect had you given him a jar of baby food that would have been fine

clpsmum · 09/06/2022 09:15

I agree with you OP it's bloody ridiculous. He's a year old ffs

missdemeanors · 09/06/2022 09:16

Agree with PP, it's not like he's on a restricted diet or has a severe allergy. Just purchase something he'll eat. If I were trying to run a business and everyone who turned up with kids brought their own meal with them I'd be peed off really

DolphinaPD · 09/06/2022 09:16

YabVu.

Chikapu · 09/06/2022 09:17

None of the things you packed were unusual or indicative of 'fussy eating', they're literally every day things. I'm sure the cafe had something you could have purchased for him. Most places won't let you bring in food, it defeats the purpose of their business.

DockOTheBay · 09/06/2022 09:17

YANBU and I have done the same. Both of mine had tiny appetites so I would take them a few snacks if going out for lunch. It seemed stupid to pay £7.50 for a sandwich which they would eat a single bite of.

Those saying "he could share yours", what difference would that actually make to the cafe owner? The OP would be spending the same amount of money and taking up the same amount of room if she shared her one lunch with her child, or if she had the lunch and gave her child a few breadsticks.

Palmtree9 · 09/06/2022 09:19

If we'd all wacked out a picnic I could understand

But that's exactly what a wrap, cheese, chicken, cucumber etc is. It's lunch for a 13 month old. I'm sure the cafe would have sold something your LO would eat

Original poster
SnakeyCakey · 09/06/2022 09:20

I wish it were as easy as 'just purchase something off the menu'. He won't eat it unfortunately. We have specific things he'll eat, he won't eat a meal that came from a cafe probably with different flavours/textures/sauces or whatever. If they'd served a plain wrap with cheese and chicken I'd have gotten him it but they didn't. I take a selection of things I know he's liked because you never know what he'll eat that day and what he won't. So it sounds like a full packed lunch but he'll only eat the wrap one day, or the chicken the next ect..

He's being seen by the GP about it as it's getting worse and we worry he isn't getting enough but unfortunately not as simple as 'just buy him something off the menu'.

OP posts:
letsnotdothat · 09/06/2022 09:20

YANBU at all. He’s practically a baby and I think there should always be an exception for babies. As you say, it isn’t as if you didn’t buy food and drink for yourself so you were a paying customer. They were being ridiculous.

Original poster
SnakeyCakey · 09/06/2022 09:21

Those saying "he could share yours", what difference would that actually make to the cafe owner?

He wouldn't share mine anyway but yes not sure what difference it makes.

OP posts:
lunar1 · 09/06/2022 09:23

I think a small snack for a child that age would be fair enough, but you set up an entire picnic.

How elaborate does it have to be for them to say no in your mind, because whatever one person brings someone else will see and expand on it.

They will also have parents in bringing their own food who then leave it to the staff to clean up when it's all over the high chair and floor.

devildeepbluesea · 09/06/2022 09:24

I have a friend who breaks out her own food anywhere we go. It’s mortifying and I’ve stopped doing much with her because of it.

HailAdrian · 09/06/2022 09:25

Yeah, that's fucking ridiculous. I work in a cafe/restaurant and wouldn't bat an eyelid at this, neither would any of my colleagues.

Original poster
SnakeyCakey · 09/06/2022 09:28

I don't know if people are imagine adult sized portions or something but it wasn't a huge amount of food. It was half a wrap, broken up, a little bit of grated cheese, some sandwich slices of chicken and a couple of cucumber sticks. All in a box about 10x10cm that he just picks at whilst we eat. I think referring to it as an entire picnic is a bit much.

OP posts:
RoaryLion1 · 09/06/2022 09:28

YANBU. You and your friend bought food, so it’s not like the cafe weren’t making any money. Also I think 13 months is quite young to be eating whatever is on the menu - cafe sandwiches could be high in salt, other foods high in sugar etc. I have friends with babies this age and they always bring food out with them, and it’s never ever a problem!!

HyggeTygge · 09/06/2022 09:28

I'm with you OP. At 1 year old they are still a baby imo, they won't have been weaned for long, and not many cafes I have been in do actually sell plain cheese sandwich without fancy stuff or tomatoes, on ciabatta instead of plain bread etc, or cucumber sticks etc. The sandwiches are often pre made with pickle etc.

At 1yo something like chips is really not great for them to be having every time you want to go in a cafe and often even on the kids' menu they sprinkle salt all over them (obviously with older kids you can be more relaxed)!

Noama · 09/06/2022 09:30

My kid is a snack machine, I always take my own food. It was fine they told you, their rules. But you definitely aren’t being ridiculous or ‘embarrassing’ to bring your own. I don’t have the money to be buying my kid a sandwich they won’t eat.

HyggeTygge · 09/06/2022 09:31

(Before I get the usual reverse snobbery, my ciabatta comment above meant that cafes often serve sandwiches on bread like ciabatta or with huge tough crusts, maybe I've just been unlucky, but babies find these hard to eat)

Original poster
SnakeyCakey · 09/06/2022 09:31

HyggeTygge · 09/06/2022 09:28

I'm with you OP. At 1 year old they are still a baby imo, they won't have been weaned for long, and not many cafes I have been in do actually sell plain cheese sandwich without fancy stuff or tomatoes, on ciabatta instead of plain bread etc, or cucumber sticks etc. The sandwiches are often pre made with pickle etc.

At 1yo something like chips is really not great for them to be having every time you want to go in a cafe and often even on the kids' menu they sprinkle salt all over them (obviously with older kids you can be more relaxed)!

This is what I've struggled with. Everything has flavours or sauces or on a fancy bread that he just won't eat. So I just take out a small choice of a few things I know he's eaten before so at least he gets something!

OP posts:
Sarah3587 · 09/06/2022 09:32

I know a lot of places have this rule. Personally I think it’s a rule that needs to be applied on a case by case situation.
for example If your child had a severe nut allergy, you wouldn’t take the risk of allowing them to cater for it.
In future just say he has a severe allergy and it’s a matter of life and death and if they have any sense they’ll agree to let you bring his own food.

Seeline · 09/06/2022 09:34

I think once past the baby jars/weaning food, you don't take a meal for a child into a cafe/restaurant. And I say that as Mum of one of the fussiest kids ever (lived for 6 months on plain boiled spaghetti and fishfingers, and another 6 months on plain omelette).
A couple of rice cakes or similar is one thing, but not an actual meal. Most cafes will make a plain cheese or ham sandwich if asked.

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