To think this was ridiculous?

[SnakeyCakey]

Went to a cafe yesterday with my friend and my 13 month old baby.

Myself and my friend ordered food and drinks however my son is pretty fussy so he'll only have certain things. Every time we go out I take a small lunch box of the easy things he'll eat, yesterday I took a small wrap, cheese, chicken, some cucumber sticks and a banana.

Anyway, long and short of it is an employee wouldn't allow me to feed my son his packed lunch as they didn't allow people's own food in the cafe.

If we'd all wacked out a picnic I could understand but my friend and I were having food and drink purchased from there. Tried to explain the situation but he was having none of it so we had to quickly eat what we could and leave as my son was getting upset that there was no food for him.

AIBU to think this is complete overkill and to complain?

Idiot

I have ARFID. You would probably think I was a fussy adult. Nope. I actually do not like eating food.

My list of safe foods doesn’t even fill an A4 piece of paper

Maybe next time talk to the cafe owner and explain the situation before you order. I can see it from both sides - and it does seem ridiculous of the cafe owner to want you to buy for a 1-year old - but if you let them know you're planning to eat and pay for lunch, cake and ice cream I'm sure it'll be fine.

Did they ask you to leave or did you just leave because you felt uncomfortable?

I can see arguments for both sides here but having worked in hospitality for most of my adult life, I'll give you the best example of why we had this rule in place.

A lady came in with her child who was a 'fussy eater' and ordered kids fajitas without the chicken, spice or sauces (so cheese and veg in a wrap basically).
The next day she called up to complain what her child had food poisoning from our restaurant and told me she had reported us to the Food Standards Agency. Obviously we had to launch an internal investigation, looking at what she had purchased, who was on shift that day etc etc.
Anyway it turns out she carried her own homemade mayo in her bag for her child as they wouldn't eat the 'stuff in restaurants or cafes' as it was mass produced.

All the stress and work it cost us wasn't worth it. So external food was banned, even for children.

Obviously it's also banned because we wanted your money, but we would usually let it slide for small children because as waiting staff, we didn't really care (was a massive chain restaurant).

Imagine getting so worked up about a child eating a banana. Ffs. 🙄

Your DH did completely the right thing and I'd have said the same!

Then again, the amount of times you have to explain to customers why they can't do stupid things is scary.

"What do you mean I can't change my baby on the table?"
"Why can't I have the chairs from that table over there? I know the table is booked but are the chairs?"
"My 8 year old will only eat McDonalds chips, how dare you not him eat them at the table!"
"I'm their mother! If I say they can take part in the cocktail making class then who are you to say no?"

So maybe the staff member had already had a bad experience of a customer bringing in their own food and therefore was enforcing the rule more adamantly than they usually would because she was worried that the next thing to come out your bag was a rotisserie chicken and a knickerbocker glory.

Exactly, I can't believe that people have even suggested it! Then again l, this is Mumsnet, where it's been suggested to build an annexe to avoid kicking out a lodger

Ooooo that's a good point OP. What sort of cafe was it? Did it have it's own kitchen like a wee independent type place with homemade stuff or was it a chain style place with pre-packed stuff?

Omg this reminds me of an ex-friend who used to meet me in costa then get out the drinks and snacks in her bags for her kids - the manager came over and I nearly died she was soooooo tight and always bought herself a drink and a cake so why not her kids? She wasn't short of money either just bizarre.

I agree with the cafe rules they're trying to run a business

I've seen signs in some eateries saying 'children over two can't eat food not purchased here', which is the sensible approach. Unless he sold bananas, fruit sticks etc so you could token buy something, he was being an arse and will lose business.

YANBU. I sometimes take my baby out for lunch with her grandparents. It wouldn't occur to me that the restaurant owner would be offended by my baby eating a pouch of baby food/yoghurt or a few snacks in her high chair. I have even asked for tap water to put in her sippy cup.

All the adults are often eating multiple courses and a glass of wine. If they expected me not to feed my baby, they'd have no repeat business from us or a crying infant disturbing their customers.

I would leave a factual review about this. I would want to know this before booking a lunch somewhere

I also hand her the occasional chip, bit of bread, cucumber or tomato from my plate. Do they really expect you to order a meal for a 1 year old?

Baby? You mean your one-year old.

Who is a baby.

They're still in nappies, many are not walking yet, they are unable to speak.

Baby? You mean your one-year old.

🙄

Totally get where you're coming from OP, my 3yr old is exactly the same (so doesn't have the excuse of being a baby!)
He is extremely restrictive about what he's willing to eat. When he was your sons age we always took a packed lunch of things we know he'd eat. Now he's older we don't eat out with him as he absolutely will not eat what is on offer in a restaurant. Defo not as simple as some others are suggesting. Really hoping he'll grow out of it 🤞🏻

🙄🙄

I always take my girls ages 1 & 2 a packed lunch. But I also always buy them something small too. Weather that's a kids sandwich or a kids lunch meal or juice or a little cake. When they don't eat x,y,z. Nobody complains when I whip out the snack box from home.

I do agree with you op because your LO is only 13m BUT then this opens the Door to everyone suddenly claiming their kids of all ages have some kind of issue that they can't eat.

You should've bought something. Why are you pandering to such a young child. He should eat what he's given.

🧌

I think the cafe owner was batshit but you'll be told YABU on here because there's nothing MN likes better than rules, no matter how nonsensical they are (see 2020 covid posts!)

You'd think after 2 years of limited business a cafe-owner would be more welcoming of paying customers...I guess some people prefer to stick to the 'rules' even if it damages their business 🤷🏻‍♀️

Pubs are businesses that exist to make money. If you have chosen to go out for a meal and are willing to pay for that, then why be so tight about drinks? FWIW, we charged 50p for lime and soda (was a good few years ago).

Kids also ate free on a Sunday when their parents bought a roast dinner, so it wasn’t like they were forking out for 2 x adult, plus 2 x children for example. Getting a free meal and then bringing your own drinks is taking the kids.

The tap water thing wasn’t legal at this time either. Loads of parents used the excuse ‘Oh, they don’t like orange/blackcurrant’. Fine. Don’t come here then, but they wanted the free kids lunch.

• taking the piss

The replies on here make me we want to check we are talking about snacks for a 1 yr old and cafe food and drink for 2 adults and not the other way round.

YANBU. Waitress for 5 years when younger at a variety of chain/independent restaurants. Never was an issue for young children or older children with special needs. As long as the rest of people are ordering.