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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was ridiculous?

179 replies

SnakeyCakey · 09/06/2022 09:01

Went to a cafe yesterday with my friend and my 13 month old baby.

Myself and my friend ordered food and drinks however my son is pretty fussy so he'll only have certain things. Every time we go out I take a small lunch box of the easy things he'll eat, yesterday I took a small wrap, cheese, chicken, some cucumber sticks and a banana.

Anyway, long and short of it is an employee wouldn't allow me to feed my son his packed lunch as they didn't allow people's own food in the cafe.

If we'd all wacked out a picnic I could understand but my friend and I were having food and drink purchased from there. Tried to explain the situation but he was having none of it so we had to quickly eat what we could and leave as my son was getting upset that there was no food for him.

AIBU to think this is complete overkill and to complain?

OP posts:
PinkSyCo · 09/06/2022 16:49

That is bloody ridiculous! Your DS is still young enough to be breastfed fgs.

bedtimesleep · 09/06/2022 16:51

After being charged £3.50 for 2 slices of toast for my toddler yesterday I think you are NOT being unreasonable!!

Giraffesandbottoms · 09/06/2022 17:55

Your DS is still young enough to be breastfed fgs

but also old enough to eat a banana and some cucumber etc. I think you had to ask if they had some bits you could buy like that, and if not crack on. But it’s important to see if you can get what you need from
the venue first.

costa do bananas etc btw. But also I wouldn’t take my toddler to a costa if I didn’t want to give him a banana/croissant/Pom bears or something. That’s all they do there - it’s pretty clear. 13 months is a baby in lots of ways but in the food way they can eat plenty of things, and most places will accommodate.

sunglassesonthetable · 09/06/2022 18:04

Isn't it pretty standard to take snacks with you, along with nappies, toy, wet wipes etc when you're out with a 13 month old?

I wouldn't be relying on a cafe at that stage.

anxiousmumagain · 09/06/2022 18:09

sunglassesonthetable · 09/06/2022 18:04

Isn't it pretty standard to take snacks with you, along with nappies, toy, wet wipes etc when you're out with a 13 month old?

I wouldn't be relying on a cafe at that stage.

Yep. Pretty standard practice here for my 14 month old.

Jalepenojello · 09/06/2022 18:12

A snack would be fine, you took a whole picnic from the sounds of it. That’s a bit cheeky

Johnnysgirl · 09/06/2022 18:13

Maybe they're just tired of doing all the cleanup after young kids have left when they haven't even got the profit on the food they've eaten?

Johnnysgirl · 09/06/2022 18:14

Isn't it pretty standard to take snacks with you, along with nappies, toy, wet wipes etc when you're out with a 13 month old?
Of course it is, but not generally to eat in a cafe.

SomethingNastyInTheBallPool · 09/06/2022 18:18

Totally ridiculous. He’s a baby and you were buying food and drinks for the adults.

sunglassesonthetable · 09/06/2022 18:19

That's exactly when I would dish out the snacks.

So I could distract my LO and my friend and I could eat the food we had ordered.

sunglassesonthetable · 09/06/2022 18:25

Maybe they're just tired of doing all the cleanup after young kids have left when they haven't even got the profit on the food they've eaten?

Yes, cos the profit on a bit of toast outweighs the profit on 2 meals and drinks.

DockOTheBay · 09/06/2022 19:39

I'm going to return in 2 weeks and post:
AIBU
I went to a cafe with friends and my 13 month old. My son obviously has a limited diet, being only a baby, so I asked the cafe to prepare some cucumber sticks, plain chicken and a wrap that he likes. They refused! Apparently all their chicken is already mixed with mayo and they don't sell wraps. Bloody ridiculous! They said he could have a ham sandwich but they only had granary bread. My friends said I should have brought a picnic for the baby, but the cafe website says we can only eat food bought on the premises. WIBU?;.

sunglassesonthetable · 09/06/2022 19:47

And whilst you're scrolling through the menu looking for options with the waitress, - your 1 year old is getting fussy and kicking off.

You're holding him trying to keep the noise down wishing you had a bit of cheese to occupy him with. @DockOTheBay

NippyWoowoo · 09/06/2022 19:48

DockOTheBay · 09/06/2022 19:39

I'm going to return in 2 weeks and post:
AIBU
I went to a cafe with friends and my 13 month old. My son obviously has a limited diet, being only a baby, so I asked the cafe to prepare some cucumber sticks, plain chicken and a wrap that he likes. They refused! Apparently all their chicken is already mixed with mayo and they don't sell wraps. Bloody ridiculous! They said he could have a ham sandwich but they only had granary bread. My friends said I should have brought a picnic for the baby, but the cafe website says we can only eat food bought on the premises. WIBU?;.

😂

anxiousmumagain · 09/06/2022 20:01

sunglassesonthetable · 09/06/2022 19:47

And whilst you're scrolling through the menu looking for options with the waitress, - your 1 year old is getting fussy and kicking off.

You're holding him trying to keep the noise down wishing you had a bit of cheese to occupy him with. @DockOTheBay

🤣

anxiousmumagain · 09/06/2022 20:09

I personally think it's far cheekier to request a specially adapted menu for your 1 year old than it is to take their own stuff. I have a 14 month old and I go nowhere without her little lunchbox. Not once, ever, anywhere, have I been told off for getting it out. It's literally the first thing I do when we sit at a table and look at the menus - put her little selection of snacks and sippy cup in front of her. Sometimes I will order her a kids meal, sometimes I won't depending on what's available. Regardless, all I've encountered thus far are smiles from waiting staff as they chat to her and smile at her etc as they take our order. I think you just got a particularly grumpy arse of a cafe, OP!

SnowyPetals · 09/06/2022 20:12

When mine were that age, I always brought my own food like that for them, and never once did I get any grief. Sounds like you just picked the wrong place OP - there are plenty of places that are much more accommodating. As long as the adults order food and you clear up after your toddler, I don't see the issue.

Giraffesandbottoms · 09/06/2022 21:40

I personally think it's far cheekier to request a specially adapted menu for your 1 year old than it is to take their own stuff

how is it cheeky if you’re paying for it/they have the stuff? You ask. If they can’t do it, then you use your stuff from home.

anxiousmumagain · 09/06/2022 22:08

@Giraffesandbottoms

Well if I'm being pedantic, I actually think either is fine! But I was making a comparison between the two options - and given a choice, I'd say taking your own stuff for a baby is the least cheeky of the two options.

But then again, I suppose it depends on whether you're requesting a ham & tomato sandwich without the tomato (easy and quite reasonable) or something more difficult to accommodate like chicken without the mayonnaise when it's already mixed into the mayonnaise, for example.

Either way, I honestly wouldn't judge anyone for doing either. Life with a baby is tough enough, so I say just do what you need to to make it that little bit easier! If that includes a little packed lunch with a banana and some crackers with cheese for my 1 year old, then I'll crack on until I'm told otherwise! (Which as I say, hasn't happened yet, and if it did I'd be taking my business elsewhere sharpish!)

maturestudent74 · 09/06/2022 22:35

I think YANBU as you bought food and drinks yourself! I used to own a play gym and always allowed parents to bring in food for little ones! As long as they were buying for themselves!
Many kids have different food requirements l!

Rosehugger · 09/06/2022 22:42

Doginthewindow · 09/06/2022 13:58

Baby? You mean your one-year old.

Bloody yes, I expect in your day they were out at work by then. Baby indeed. 🙄

Vikinga · 09/06/2022 22:48

They were ridiculous. He's practically a baby.

jputthekettleon · 09/06/2022 22:56

I don’t know anyone in real life who doesn’t bring the babies food with them. Babies aren’t guaranteed to eat full meals all the ones I know of that age mush it up and it gets everywhere.

I order food now for my nearly 3 year old but he is often so distracted eating out he doesn’t touch it. When he was below 2 I brought my own food for him from home - lots of small snacks.

salt content etc can also be too high for babies.

YANBU

AvocadoOnToastt · 09/06/2022 22:57

YaNbu
He's a baby fgs.

Nowomenaroundeh · 09/06/2022 22:57

Oh my god he's a baby! No way would I have ordered food off a menu for my LO then. Yanbu at all..