To have insisted DD be checked by a doctor (again)?

[anxiousmumagain]

As my NC suggests I'm quite an anxious mum and prone to worrying about every little thing so I don't know if I'm overreacting here or not. DP has made me feel like I am. Hence my posting.

DD (14 months) has had recurring viral infections for several months now, probably a new one every 4-5 weeks. When she gets unwell has a horrendous cough to the point of vomiting, streaming nose, temp of 38 or higher (39.5 at its highest), no appetite, and is generally sleepy and lethargic. She became unwell this time around just before the bank holiday weekend last week. On Friday evening I was concerned about her breathing which appeared shallow and fast, so I called 111 and they advised we take her to A&E. She was seen and we were told (again) "it's just viral" and that whilst her chest appeared to be "sucking in on one side" (paediatric doctor's words), they weren't concerned enough to keep her in. So she came home.

Fast forward to 5 days later and she is still no better. Obviously we have kept her home from childcare and DP and I have take days off work between us. Monday was my turn. On Monday her temp soared yet again and she was very sleepy and refusing any fluids. I rang the GP, they told me to take her to see them. GP examined her and said "just viral" and "not concerned". She said the fact she makes a full recovery between episodes of infection is reassuring. No treatment, just sent home.

Today DP looked after DD whilst I slept (supposed to be at work but I have come down with the same virus and feel dreadful myself so I've spent the entire day in bed pretty much). I woke up around 5pm and went downstairs to see how she was. DP said she had only just woken up after sleeping for "about 3 hours" (she never, ever sleeps for this length of time, it's typically 1.5-2 hrs max for her afternoon naps). She still looked sleepy and lethargic, eyes bright red and weeping, and again refusing any sips of water from her cup. She had also developed a rash across her upper chest and neck area, removed her vest and it's down onto her tummy as well. DP said he he noticed it earlier but wasn't concerned. He was equally unconcerned about her unusual length of sleep, and her refusal of water. I changed her nappy - there was the tiniest amount of wetness but nothing like what there should be for 3 hours later (DP said she took a small amount of milk before she slept).

Putting it all together I said to DP I'm really worried, I want her to be seen again. Especially with the rash and refusal fluids. DP said he didn't think this was necessary and that I was overreacting. I said I just keep thinking "what if?", especially when I've read about sepsis and how dangerous it can be. DP said "you need to stop reading stuff online". That was the extent of his support.

So I rang 111 regardless - a lovely nurse listened to my concerns and advised we take her again to a&e to be seen. DP grumpily and reluctantly said he would take her (I offered but he said no as I'm not well either so he would do it). He's currently at a&e with her waiting to be seen. So this will be the 3rd time she's been seen by a medic in 5 days.

AIBU? Am I a neurotic overreacting mother to be worried about something more serious being wrong? DP has made me feel like I am. I'm just so worried about my constantly poorly baby. 😢

Bless her, she is in the right place. But never worry about contacting your GP as we did a lot with Child 1 and they always said, bring her down and were always lovely with her. All children are different, some just seem to pick up everything and suffer more than others.

I disagree, as another poster said DC are precious and it’s not worth the risk.
I also agree that forehead thermometers are rubbish. I’d get an ear one like the GP’s use. I’ve got a braun one that’s very good and easy to use. I had a forehead one years ago and a paramedic told me not to use it in future.

Oh god this is worrying 🙁

I would take her in again. But I am also an anxious parent and my DH thinks I take them to be seen too often. Tbh I would rather rule out anything sinister.
Trust your instincts.

Havent read the full thread so sorry if it’s already been mentioned, but re the fluids don’t wait for her to accept a drink, you need to be proactive and literally get drops in like clockwork to keep her fluids up to an acceptable level. Do you have a Calpol type syringe? Every 10mins she’s awake squeeze a few drops of water into her mouth - she might spit out but if you’re doing it that regularly she’ll be taking something in over the course of an hour/morning/day. Super important to keep doing this if her fluids are very low…

Your DD is in the right place. I really hope she is seen soon. Holding your hand my lovely and hoping for positive news.

As PP pointed out it says on the NHS website that 7-11 days after the MMR it's common for babies to get a temperature, a loss of appetite and a rash (as a very mild form of measles). It happened to our son too & he was fine & as I'd read up on the MMR side effects I was prepared for it and not worried

Sorry that posted too soon- I hope your DD comes back safe and sound very soon!

@anxiousmumagain - please don't be overly concerned. It's most likely because she's not taking in the fluids in the first place!

Rashes can be alarming but you do learn to recognise a viral rash, it looks a bit like prickly heat. I didn't know they were a thing before having babies!

Try not to worry about the dry nappy, she hasn't been drinking much so it's natural she won't be weeing. The hospital might get your DH to syringe fluid into her to see if they can get her hydrated before admitting her for a drip.

As an aside is it really still 1 parent only in A&E?

Hope she’s on the mend soon op! Can you go and swap with your DP? I don’t think I could leave him to it if I felt he was less on the ball than I was tbh. Hope you’re both feeling better soon xxx

Yes It is where I am 😢

@sjxoxo

I'm so desperate to, but I'm also coughing and spluttering a lot myself as I'm unwell myself - I'm not sure it would be appreciated if I turned up in a paediatric a&e dept like that? But at the same time I really want to be with my DD. 🙁

Definitely not being unreasonable. My 4 year old son has been told all he has is a viral infection since Dec 2021. He has a permanent cough. I ended up taking him privately and the consultant who has examined him has deemed it urgent enough to get some tests done.

If they still say it's viral I'd be refusing to take her home until she gets better. You can't continue like that

This

you have to be persistent, give any fluids they’ll have. Juice sugar containing squash are good if they’re not eating much. Try ice lollies, jelly etc. Syringe into side of cheek regularly if needed. Don’t let her sleep for long periods without fluids. Give medication to get the temp down. If she’s dehydrated she will be lethargic and not weeing. I do agree that if you’re really worried you should always get her seen but there is also a lot you can do at home and many kids that age do pick up frequent viruses.

My Dd sounda a lot like yours with the constant virals- Hers started when 4 weeks old ,Oct-March every year, every 2 weeks seemed to happen- Mainly chest related.
Now age 5, She has grown out of it.
I went to GP/A&E when I 'Knew' it was worse/no improvement.
I was often right and she did often end up of antibiotics.
My Dp stopped questioning me when Dd was 12months old and I knew she wasnt right after seeing GP that Am- It ended with Nebulizer and hrs of additional monitoring - The GP told me I was right to come back and she wouldve been gravely ill, Had I not followed my instinct.
You know best.
I hope DD and you feel better soon

I’m going against the grain here but I’m with your dp

my two (3 years and 10 months) always get a rash with a cold virus - I glass test it each time - and they go off food/ drink and then obviously don’t wee as much. Then they get sleepy and lethargic as they’ve not eaten and are small bodies fighting off an infection. You said yourself you’ve been in bed all day as you feel ill with it - so it’s not surprising your daughter would also sleep more is it?

saying all that, if you think she is seriously ill then yes, you should always go back to the dr.

But it might be worth talking to them about what things are/aren’t normal or red flags so you don’t panic unnecessarily and dd can sleep and rest at home on her bed rather than at a&e especially if she feels as poorly as you do considering you are too ill to be there.

@BungleandGeorge

I'm upset with myself tbh as if I'd been awake and downstairs I would have tried to wake her sooner and tried some fluids. DP was looking after her and he just let her sleep for way longer than she normally does, which I think has resulted in her being even more dehydrated 😢

He doesn't have the same instincts that I do for something being wrong, that's the problem. Even when I said she's slept for way longer than normal, that's worrying, he was like "it's fine, if she's ill just let her sleep, what's the problem" etc ....

@SunflowerGardens

It did look like prickly heat (I think). Am I allowed to post a photo of the rash? Not sure what's allowed.

I'm not dismissing your concerns as you know your baby best but I would say that from the week my son started childcare, he has been like this often. Sometimes napping for 4 hours, rarely drinking / having wet nappies and he gets a viral rash too. It's not every week but it does seem relentless. Saying that, no harm getting checked again and, like I said, you know your own little one best.

My DD often got a viral rash when unwell as a baby. They're pretty common, so the rash alone wouldn't worry me as long as it passes the glass test.

Def try with juice/lollies next time if you haven't already. DD is never overly excited about having water when unwell but much happier to have some squash or suck on an ice lolly!

Is she in childcare? You can get really unlucky with a bad run of nursery bugs. We had a hellish few months at the end of last year. Not so much for DD as she's very robust so shrugs things off, but me and DH were ill for about four solid months!

Please don’t go to A&E yourself if you are unwell - you will only end up spreading things around.

They’d always rather see a well child than not see a sick one, so it’s always worth bringing them in if there are concerning symptoms and please don’t feel bad about it.

it probably is just a combo of vaccine side effects and a virus but best to be sure.

YANBU. Lack of fluid in and out is always a concern in a little one. They go up and down so bloody quickly it's good that you're being alert. Never apologise for wanting your unwell baby checked.

Rashes are often viral and signify towards end of illness but refusal of fluids is essential to be checked out. Do you not have an after hours gp service? Much quicker than A&E.