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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have insisted DD be checked by a doctor (again)?

235 replies

anxiousmumagain · 08/06/2022 19:05

As my NC suggests I'm quite an anxious mum and prone to worrying about every little thing so I don't know if I'm overreacting here or not. DP has made me feel like I am. Hence my posting.

DD (14 months) has had recurring viral infections for several months now, probably a new one every 4-5 weeks. When she gets unwell has a horrendous cough to the point of vomiting, streaming nose, temp of 38 or higher (39.5 at its highest), no appetite, and is generally sleepy and lethargic. She became unwell this time around just before the bank holiday weekend last week. On Friday evening I was concerned about her breathing which appeared shallow and fast, so I called 111 and they advised we take her to A&E. She was seen and we were told (again) "it's just viral" and that whilst her chest appeared to be "sucking in on one side" (paediatric doctor's words), they weren't concerned enough to keep her in. So she came home.

Fast forward to 5 days later and she is still no better. Obviously we have kept her home from childcare and DP and I have take days off work between us. Monday was my turn. On Monday her temp soared yet again and she was very sleepy and refusing any fluids. I rang the GP, they told me to take her to see them. GP examined her and said "just viral" and "not concerned". She said the fact she makes a full recovery between episodes of infection is reassuring. No treatment, just sent home.

Today DP looked after DD whilst I slept (supposed to be at work but I have come down with the same virus and feel dreadful myself so I've spent the entire day in bed pretty much). I woke up around 5pm and went downstairs to see how she was. DP said she had only just woken up after sleeping for "about 3 hours" (she never, ever sleeps for this length of time, it's typically 1.5-2 hrs max for her afternoon naps). She still looked sleepy and lethargic, eyes bright red and weeping, and again refusing any sips of water from her cup. She had also developed a rash across her upper chest and neck area, removed her vest and it's down onto her tummy as well. DP said he he noticed it earlier but wasn't concerned. He was equally unconcerned about her unusual length of sleep, and her refusal of water. I changed her nappy - there was the tiniest amount of wetness but nothing like what there should be for 3 hours later (DP said she took a small amount of milk before she slept).

Putting it all together I said to DP I'm really worried, I want her to be seen again. Especially with the rash and refusal fluids. DP said he didn't think this was necessary and that I was overreacting. I said I just keep thinking "what if?", especially when I've read about sepsis and how dangerous it can be. DP said "you need to stop reading stuff online". That was the extent of his support.

So I rang 111 regardless - a lovely nurse listened to my concerns and advised we take her again to a&e to be seen. DP grumpily and reluctantly said he would take her (I offered but he said no as I'm not well either so he would do it). He's currently at a&e with her waiting to be seen. So this will be the 3rd time she's been seen by a medic in 5 days.

AIBU? Am I a neurotic overreacting mother to be worried about something more serious being wrong? DP has made me feel like I am. I'm just so worried about my constantly poorly baby. 😢

OP posts:
anxiousmumagain · 10/06/2022 09:44

You need to maybe do a bit more reading on how to help your child

I thought you had peaked with "over the top" to follow medical advice to visit A&E, but - sorry, I need to do what?

I am helping her by: attempting to give fluids as often as she will take them and in whatever form she will take them, stripping her down when she has a temp, cuddling her and trying to comfort her best I can when she's distressed, administering calpol and nurofen as often as possible, and calling 111 or my GP for advice. What more exactly do you suggest I need to do to help her? What can I possibly read about that will add to those things?

Are you suggesting I need to do medical research in order to be able to provide medical treatment for baby at home (despite my lack of medical training) so that I can avoid any more "over the top" trips to hospital? If so, that's at best stupid advice and at worst frankly dangerous.

I am doing my best for her whilst absolutely floored myself with the same virus. Your comment has really pissed me off.

OP posts:
itsgettingweird · 10/06/2022 09:46

www.glomedpharmacyonline.co.uk/?Page_ID=3610&refpid=12933&id=36686

This is the same thing - I still call it minadex but it changed it name a decade ago. I use to use it with my ds and he's 17 now!

anxiousmumagain · 10/06/2022 09:49

Thanks @itsgettingweird for

I think i need to drink a bottle or two of it myself, too! 😫

OP posts:
Bellybutton88 · 10/06/2022 10:06

Hi OP, my son had a similar illness when he was 2 or 3 and it lasted for 10 days in which he didn't eat or drink very much and his fever came and went and came back again. He lost weight from not eating in those 10 days and he drank about half his usual intake maybe even less. He was checked by GP who said it was viral and he just needed rest and TLC.

He did start to get better after ten days so just goes to show it can last quite a while! However if you are still worried i would recommend seeing a private GP - you have to pay but you usually can get same day appointments and in my experience are less "dismissive". I would also suggest you get an oximeter to monitor your DCs oxygen levels. This and her fever, as well as breathing rate, are vital symptoms of whether she has a more severe infection.

Wish you all the best

beachcitygirl · 10/06/2022 13:19

How's things OP? X worried about you both x

anxiousmumagain · 10/06/2022 19:33

Thank you @beachcitygirl , that's kind of you.

DD is doing a little better thank you - she ate much better today and is a bit brighter overall. Fingers crossed 🤞🏻 she's over the worst!

I on the other hand am feeling really crap. But hoping an early night helps - I'm officially off duty now DP is home from work to take over and do bedtime! So I'm off to get some sleep and hoping that helps.

Thanks everyone for your support 😊

OP posts:
Teder · 10/06/2022 19:40

It’s so hard to care for a poorly toddler when you’re feeling unwell yourself so take it easy. Flowers I think many people think they’re being fobbed off when they say “just a virus” but what it’s meant is that antibiotics aren’t appropriate but we all know viruses can be really debilitating. Keep an eye on here and hang in there, hope you get some sleep!

Bunnycat101 · 10/06/2022 22:18

Fingers crossed she’ll be on the mend if she’s starting to eat. I’ve found with both of mine after long illnesses that they perked up quite quickly once they got food into them. Hopefully you’ll feel much better soon too. Try to look after yourself- it really is rubbish looking after a poorly little one when you’re not well either.

Rachie1973 · 10/06/2022 23:45

anxiousmumagain · 08/06/2022 22:04

She is being sent home again - same story, "viral", "not concerned".

I don't know what to do anymore. Another night of listening to her cough herself to sleep while she vomits bile all over herself yet again.Another night of trying to get fluids into her as she tries to fight me off. Another night of anxiously checking nappies for wee. Another night of no sleep due to the worry of it all. When will it end 😢😢

Honestly? It’ll end when you address your anxiety.

I do get your concerns, we’ve all been there, but you’re really out of control my sweet xxx

anxiousmumagain · 11/06/2022 12:31

@Rachie1973

I actually meant when will the persistent viral infections end. My anxiety being addressed or otherwise doesn't prevent my little one from picking up bug after bug.

But I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you meant well by your comment. So thanks.

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