If it turned out you’d been switched at birth, would you want to know?

[AlternativePerspective]

This week’s long lost family was about two women who had been switched at birth.

One had always suspected because of something her family had said when she was growing up, but the other one had no idea.

So the one who suspected wanted to know the details, so did DNA tests etc, and it turned out she was right.

However, the other one had no idea and her life and that of her family was essentially destroyed when she was approached and told that the family she thought she had weren’t actually her family at all and her brother for e.g. was told his sister wasn’t his sister etc.

Personally I think that the makers of the show were morally wrong for telling her, and all the other woman should have been told was that yes her family were not her biological family. But at that point she IMO lost the right to invade the lives of her biological family who hadn’t asked to be put in the situation and were completely unaware.

If I were told out of the blue that I had been switched at birth and my family weren’t my family, I would want nothing to do with those who were my biological family.

And if I were told that my sister had been switched at birth I would outright reject the biological sister I was given in her place. Because my family are my family and I wouldn’t want anything to do with anyone else wanting to be family.

So, would you want to know?

Here's a link to one of the best episodes of this american life. Swtiched at birth. Incredibly compelling.

www.thisamericanlife.org/360/switched-at-birth

My parents would always be my parents, my brother would always be my brother, nothing could change that, they raised me, they are my family. But I would want to know.

My parents would always be my parents, my brother would always be my brother, nothing could change that, they raised me, they are my family. But I would want to know.
Likewise.
Both women were innocent victims and deserved to know the truth.
The truth hurts sometimes.
It isn't fair to expect the first lady to keep the secret carrying the burden.

You might want to know but she might not but she didn't have any choice. The other woman could have had it confirmed that she was switched at birth while still respecting the woman who had no idea.

Of course you might want to know now but your feelings might change when you are 77. You might be young enough that you could meet your parents but she isn't like to have that opportunity. She has gained nothing but suffered for no good reason.

They both suffered for no reason or fault of their own.

It wasn't one person's burden to carry.

I would absolutely want a child of mine back if he/she had swapped at birth. I would also want the one I had brought up. It would be a problem.

I watched part of it (want to watch the rest) and I'm intrigued how only one party noticed they had the wrong baby...? And why it wasn't addressed at the time?
DH said he thought it must happen a lot because "all babies look the same" but they absolutely dont.

I'm not adopted but I completely see why people have a sense of needing to know their origin, even when they have had a loving or happy family. Its one of the things that I have reservations about surrogacy

It wasn't one person's burden to carry. it absolutely was.

She was the one who wanted to know whether her family were her biological family.

She had no right to put that burden on to someone else and destroy their life in the name of the truth.

If it happened to me, it may explain some perspectives, but other than that, I wouldn't see my current family any different, as they would be my primary family, so to speak, it would just mean that i would have another family too, that I can get to bond with.

She was the one who wanted to know whether her family were her biological family.
For whatever reasons she knew there was a mistake.

She had no right to put that burden on to someone else and destroy their life in the name of the truth.
Do you think she had no right to find out where she came from? Who her biological family was? She should have accepted the news and forgot about it after 70 years of wondering why she didn't fit in the wrong family.

Imo she had the right to find her roots, it's sad people got hurt by someone's stupid mistake.

The victims are the family whose lives she potentially destroyed in her quest for answers.

yes she was a victim of a switch. But the rest was of her own making.

She didn’t have the right to destroy another family just because she wanted answers.

Do you think she had no right to find out where she came from? Who her biological family was? She should have accepted the news and forgot about it after 70 years of wondering why she didn't fit in the wrong family. yes.

The truth was that she wasn’t biologically related to her family.

She had no right to anything else.

After all, o you think the other woman had no right to have her life turned upside down and to be told at the end of her life that the whole life she lived was a lie?

After all, o you think the other woman had no right to have her life turned upside down and to be told at the end of her life that the whole life she lived was a lie?
No I don't think either should have had to deal with the aftermath of the switch however it happened, you can't put the genie back in the bottle, the truth came out.

Well, maybe her family should never have said anything then nobody would ever have been any the wiser.

They mentioned to the doctor at the time who said they’d have to give the baby back. At the point they chose not to they should have kept their mouths shut rather than talking cryptically about such things.

And this should absolutely never, ever have been done by ITV. Let’s face it, the makers of long lost family don’t go through these things for the good of anyone but their ratings. They must have rubbed their hands in glee when this case was presented to them.

It’s sickening and if they ever tried to do that in my family I would see them in court.

Only one of them was suffering. The other was in blissful ignorance until they decided to tell her.

You wouldn't be getting your child back 77 years later.

She could find out she just didn't need to tell the other family.

And for some reason adoption is the only circumstance in which a child is expected to be grateful for having lost their entire family…

She could find out she just didn't need to tell the other family.
The other family were her biological family, should she have died never meeting them?

Big decision meet your brother and destroy someone else's life. I think the scales would be quite heavily weighted on one side of that. It isn't like she could meet her parents, it isn't like they are all going to have a wonderful future together, they are two old women and one of them has just had the rug pulled out on her whole life.

She wanted to know if she was swapped, she was.

Big decision meet your brother and destroy someone else's life.
I'd want to meet him.

I think the scales would be quite heavily weighted on one side of that. It isn't like she could meet her parents, it isn't like they are all going to have a wonderful future together they are two old women and one of them has just had the rug pulled out on her whole life.
I think both women must have had a shock.

She wanted to know if she was swapped, she was.
That's the tip of the iceberg.

If she wanted to know details about her birth family, what her DM or DF were interested in? How they lived? Her Dbro is the only one who can confirm these things.

One's feelings don't trump another.

I was convinced growing up I was in the wrong family blonde with brown eyes.
4 siblings with black hair and blue eyes it was the family joke.

I'd have been floored if my suspicions were confirmed

might take dna test

The other family were her biological family, should she have died never meeting them? yes.

All she needed to know was that her family weren’t her family. She didn’t know her biological family. Had she not overheard her mother she would never have known her actual family weren’t her biological family.

She found out what she needed to know. It wasn’t her (or davina fucking McCall)’s place to to destroy another family just because it so happened that some woman felt she had the right to meet them.

What if they’d said no. Should they have the right to do that? Don’t they have the right to say she should die never having met them?

Fact is that this isn’t just about her but seems the rest were just collateral damage because she wanted to know and because it made good telly.

What if they’d said no

She wouldn’t have met them and there wouldn’t have been a TV programme.

Should they have the right to do that?

Of course they should and they had the chance to do exactly that. Her biological brother said yes, though, do you think he shouldn’t have the right to make that choice?

One's feelings should trump anothers when for curiosities sake you cause pain and distress to another.

I'd have been floored if my suspicions were confirmed Well don't poke a wasps nest and then complain you've been stung and what's more say it doesn't matter that the other person who has been stung worse than you has no rights.

It’s Jacky the name is Jacky.