to ask if your appearance is deceiving.....

[thelastshadowpuppet]

One of our customers came in last week and as he was waiting for his order we got chatting and it turns out he is an amazing opera singer. Looking at him you'd never think it. Think older gent, builder type.

Over the weekend I was somewhere that had a piano so I sat down and played something. Someone commented and said to me that they weren't surprised I could play the piano as I just looked like someone who could.

Is there something about your appearance that would give something away about you or not.

Not a judgy thread, please don't turn this into a bun fight.

Just a fun thread........hopefully.

I am a very feminine, straight looking woman who happens to be a raging lesbian. Often you find that even femmes will have tattoos or something slightly edgy about their appearance that gives it away if you know what you’re looking for, but not me. My only giveaway is short nails for obvious reasons.

I’m also horrifically disorganised and a bit rubbish in general but my appearance suggests that I have everything together and am a bit ‘no fun’.

I get this a lot too. I have no idea why 🤷🏻‍♀️

I dress like a boring old woman, colleagues think I'm very straight and boring. They have no idea that in my free time, I go to punk concerts, dress up accordingly and mosh at the front.😜

Oh I got one. I am quite dark haired and dark eyes. But my son was white blonde and blue eyes. I know a lot of people have this, as you never know what you will get, especially with mixed race kids (which mine are) and so people were always surprised he is my son.

I’ve been told by a good friend that I look like a kitten (those kind, I’ll help you/I’m a pushover) faces but I’m actually an out of control Rottweiler (we worked together in a law-related job). She wasn’t wrong as my local NHS Trust is about to find out!
I also had the opposite view from another friend - apparently I have devil eyes but an Angel heart.
And weirdly I think both is kind of true.
I also look much younger than I am though fuck knows how given my circumstances and actually have had to tell a young chap recently that I’m old enough to be his GRANDmother. Plus I actually look 70 first thing in the morning or if I cry.
faces, eh?

People often assume I'm straight laced and I've been described as demure. Am I fuck? Those who have taken me for a pushover have learnt the error of their ways!

I love surprising and being surprised by people!

My son’s got that going on. Shaved head, paint spattered clothes - he’s a professional artist - and a generally threatening demeanour. When people discover he’s a vegan with the smallest carbon foot print possible and is hugely emotionally intelligent and empathetic it blows their minds.

I look quiet dowdy and middle aged yet swear like a navvy. Does that count?

My only giveaway is short nails for obvious reasons

😂😂😂

Most days I look well put together with nails and hair always done, natural makeup, and nice clothes. Friends are always surprised when they first discover my house is a shit tip. Strangers are surprised I have children - not sure why, perhaps I don’t look motherly!

Lots of people have also been surprised at my professional job because they know I’m disorganised and perhaps assume that I’m not too clever. To be fair I don’t have much common sense but have book brains - so I do understand the confusion!

Unfortunately I don’t have any hidden talents- would love to be able to surprise people with a circus trapeze routine 🤸‍♀️

Loving these stories! Thanks for this thread.

I look exactly like what I am, sadly 😂. But DD1 presents as very 'girly' – waist-length blonde hair, bright blue eyes, clear pale complexion. She was a complete tomboy, never happier than when splashing in puddles or climbing trees and was a talented skateboarder as a child.

Now at a skinny, 5ft nothing she still looks like a teenager and constantly gets ID'd. She's actually 28, has a PhD and has lived and worked abroad for several years.

I work in Aldi, and customers are regularly rude/make assumptions; a man told me last week I "should have done better in school" when he was angry that I couldn't issue a refund (no receipt).

I'm actually (lucky to be) very well off after selling a successful business; a close friend is the store area manager so I work shifts to cover colleague sickness/childcare, as I get bored if I'm just at home. I don't want to retire in my 30s just yet!

Not right now as things are a bit horrendous but I have a severe and enduring mental health illness - well two actually - and I used to get comments on how unexpected it was when I told people.

The ambulance service, when they have been to the house, have always questioned whether the information they have on their records is correct because the house is very tidy, and I am well dressed - do love my designer clothes too.

My husband's elderly stepfather is staying with us for a few days. My 20 year old son was startled to discover that dad's 80 year old stepfather was a mountaineer, rock climber and a brilliant scientist in his field when he was younger.

My childhood background is as extreme as Elizabeth Fritzl & Natascha Kampusch yet no one knows. My abuser was imprisoned for 52yrs and it never even made the news. I struggle immensely & no one knows.

Slight derail - but thanks so much for posting this.
I start radiotherapy next week followed by, all being well, chemo in late August (and yes, I know this isn't the normal order of treatment, but my cancer dictates otherwise).
Your post made me smile.

The only giveaway is rock solid sense of confidence which prob comes across as entitlement …. But…. I don’t really care.

Allegedly I project this, but up until recently I've have been amazed to be told it. It wasn't until lockdown and WFH, when I became compelled to record myself doing my job (I'm a lecturer) and watch back the footage to edit it, that I actually saw myself as others see me. It gave me a lot more confidence. I've always had the subject knowledge, but when teaching I did appear as a person who knew my job thoroughly, who projected this, and was able to instil the same confidence in my students.

You never can tell how you come across to others.

Oddly enough, as far as surface appearances go it's an issue to which I've never given a thought. Responses above seem to indicate the class markers we in the UK are so unfathomably obsessed with - I've never given the slightest concern to how my clothing or accent is projected to others. (I have had the usual sexist assumptions that because I'm a woman I can't change my own car wheel, etc, but that's a sideways issue).

It's only occurred to me now, on reading this thread, that aside from the gender disadvantage I don't actually have to care how I'm perceived by others. I'm fairly certain that if it materially disadvantaged me, I'd have noticed. That in itself is a privileged position - one seemingly confirmed by the fact that I didn't immediately recognize it as privilege. I've learned something to be grateful for today.

I was a regular at my local Wetherspoons, most nights out would start there pre bar/club or end there post dinner. I love a drink and a chat and so do my friends and family so we were always one of the last to leave. I’m also the type to really glam up on a night out.

The look on the bar staff’s faces was absolutely priceless when they called an ambulance one Saturday night and I rocked up in my uniform with minimal makeup and a sensible bun, every inch the professional paramedic.

More recently, I pick my niece up from school when I can around my shifts as I either am looking after her little brother, or my mum is and she can’t drive. I’m pretty sure the school thought I was unemployed until one day I came straight from work so had to go in uniform!

I’ve had this a few times, no idea why!

I’m sorry to hear this and I hope you have been able to build a full and enriching life despite your horrific start in life. It’s crazy how we never know what someone has been through, even if they tell us in their own words we still cannot truly know unless we were there ourselves.

Oh, I thought of another one: people always think I'm taller than I am. It's really weird, because they are literally looking at me, and it's not like I often wear heels or even have particularly good posture. But people consistently label me as 'tall' and estimate my height at a good 3 inches more than it is.

Also, close friend dresses very alternative- big boots, all black, heavy makeup, sometimes wigs with brightly coloured dreads. Is in 2 rock bands, lives in Brighton, very into the alt scene.

she is

1. From a very posh and privileged background, private school, horses, second home in Spain etc etc.
2. A dentist.

I love this, I love that the staff in the home fo this for that person rather than them not taking part.

I'm an over weight mother of 4, from a council estate, on benefits due to life long disability. Still live in the same town in a council house. I drink pints and swear like a trooper. I don't wear make up and live in my crocs and comfy clothes.

People are really shocked when I drop into conversation that I've got 3 degrees. That I am considered an expert in a totally unrelated very niche hobby . I can hold my own in conversations with pretty much anybody even though I look right as arseoles and totally reject femininity.

I always make the assumption in my head when someone is very pale/pasty and/or wearing 'hippyish' clothes like harem pants, birkenstocks, anything made of hemp. I would never say it out loud but I'm almost always right.