to ask if your appearance is deceiving.....

[thelastshadowpuppet]

One of our customers came in last week and as he was waiting for his order we got chatting and it turns out he is an amazing opera singer. Looking at him you'd never think it. Think older gent, builder type.

Over the weekend I was somewhere that had a piano so I sat down and played something. Someone commented and said to me that they weren't surprised I could play the piano as I just looked like someone who could.

Is there something about your appearance that would give something away about you or not.

Not a judgy thread, please don't turn this into a bun fight.

Just a fun thread........hopefully.

Same here. You wouldn’t look at me twice and I’m probably the definition of middle class boring. But I had an incredibly unusual and difficult childhood. Think alcoholic parent, sexual abuse, parents suicide, mental health issues in the family, institutionalised for a short period, following a sect like organisation. Nevertheless - went to university, self funded and turned out all right. Im sooooo glad I live a boring life now 😀

@Marotte nothing superficial about it. It's the stereotypes we think of based on someone's appearance.

Went on a date tonight and he assumed I'd been to private school and was posh and he seemed surprised to be corrected. He was also surprised I've never been skiing or sailing. He asked why I'm so well spoken...as if you can't be well spoken and from a working class background!

We then had an interesting chat about whether outwardly appearing much posher than you are is beneficial or not. I said that I think it can be to an extent, in that people who were privately educated often assume you're one of them, so perhaps favouring you for jobs or opportunities. I also think it can be a disadvantage in that you get less credit for your achievements. People assume your parents supported you financially when you were actually working your arse off in two jobs. Or they completely misunderstand the context of things you say. I made a comment at work a few weeks ago about a council estate not being the greatest environment to grow up in and someone immediately called me snobby and elitist, because it hadn't even occurred to him that I'd lived on one and was speaking about my own lived experience. Ironically, he is very posh and has never even been to one, not even to visit someone else's house! He was very apologetic and embarrassed, but if we hadn't cleared up that misunderstanding, he'd think I was a rich, snotty cow who looks down on poor people!

Love this thread ! I’m told that I come across as a quiet person one who wouldn’t say boo to a goose, couldn’t be more wrong! I can certainly hold my own and don’t suffer fools gladly! 🤣🤣🤣

When getting my degree results from a notice board, I heard a girl in front of me say "Oh, VastQuantities came top. She doesn't look clever."
That comment has pleased me more than it should for the rest of my life since.... but I'm not even sure why.

I have long blonde hair with extensions, fake nails, fake tan, fake boobs, and white veneers, and I look around 25.

In reality Im a 37 year old 15 years PQE lawyer, head of department with a masters in HR. The amount of times I’ve been asked to make a coffee by clients, or been told “ohhh you didn’t look like you were going to be very good but you’re great aren’t you?” is astonishing!

I also went out drinking in a group the other week with DS18, we both got IDd several times and he was mortified to see me being chatted up by someone almost half my age 😆

I have a very high pain threshold and a low tolerance for drugs, alcohol actually any stimulant including coffee. I underwent major surgery and left hospital in 11days not the record that was 9days but not bad going apparently. I look like a delicate little flower but are hard as nails. Just had another little op whilst awake and was complemented as the best patient that day.

I’m a solicitor but 3 years agoo I had a big promotion and took it with the condition I could start working from home ( I had a toddler and a older child and I really wanted to be with them more ) so no more office clothes and nice shoes or expensive handbags . Instead I’m more of a leggings or running trousers and trainer or fit flops kind of person since staying home .
I don’t tend to tell others my profession because they are forever asking me legal advise so people go long periods of time without having any idea of what I do and they always get surprised .

I'm much heavier than I look (recently found out why). Medical professionals don't believe me.

Also I'm naturally blonde with big boobs so people presume I must be lacking in intelligence. I took in a total lemon of a car that needed over a grand spent on it for px. Guy got smarmy and gave me over the private retail value of the car in perfect condition (closer to dealer price) and a massive discount on the second-hand car I was buying.

People seem surprised I've held a high-level job, have a Master's etc based solely on appearance. The guy who services my car also knows how much I know about cars so doesn't rip me off and asks what needs doing!

I find this really interesting as I seem to look like a vegetarian. I’m not.
I try to avoid highly processed foods…

Years ago, in my younger days, I was in a band. I arrived at a gig and one of the audience asked if I was the singer, no I said, I'm the drummer. Oh you don't look like the drummer they said, I replied, what is the drummer supposed to look like. They were a bit embarrassed and said, oh sorry, just didn't expect to see a female.

People are often surprised by my DH. … he’s a biker,, covered in tattoos and a musician (rock/metal) with the stereotypical metal look.
but he’s a civil servant grade 6 and haas a really responsible (boring) job in government finance. People don’t expect it at all

A colleague once commented that he liked the fact that I dressed conservatively but underneath I wore fun socks. He said it reflected me, conservative on the surface but a fun person hiding underneath.

A post grad from Kemble college Oxford visiting my state school when I was in lower 6th to talk to us about applying to go to Oxford. We were a small group of 11 (it was 1982 when going to uni was not popular outside of rich families, but 10 of us wanted to go to uni). Anyway she went round tge room asking what subjects and I said chemistry. She said I knew you'd say tgat. You look like a chemist ( not pharmacist which is obvs very different).

I was 5' 8", attractive and slim (how things change, lol!).

Anyways got to King's (London not Oxford) and there were 6 females out of 120 single honours undergrads. How she knew, I have no idea.

Now I tell people I have a chemistry degree, they look at me like 'are you kidding'. I also have a law masters but I tend not to tell people that, lol.

I am waiting for assessment for ASD in my fifties. Since I announced that I suspected I am autistic I have been much more open about the crippling social anxiety I have suffered with all my life. I was chatting with a friend yesterday who I met at work over 25 years ago and she was shocked when I told her that talking to strangers made me so tense I sometimes felt like crying afterwards. She had no idea.

Not me, but the love of my life was an incredibly gifted musician.
He did extremely well as a musician, and also produced and engineered albums for some very well known people.
What most people didn't know was that he was from a very religious family, and was a church elder himself.
And if they had, they wouldn't have believed it, when they saw him in his stage gear.

Ditto- 9 years for me and I apparently look like a middle class middle aged mum who maybe had a glass of wine once😄😄

Gandalfsthong
My mum is almost 80, she’s a tiny, grey haired frail lady who…. Plays the drums! She took it up a few years ago. Currently learning some Bryan Adams and Dire Straits 😂

I love your mum!

As a teenager I overheard a classmate say that teapots "looks a bit gormless, but when you speak to her you realise that she has a brain" - make of that what you will. In many ways it's good to be underestimated as it disarms folk - I can surprise people with my quizzing abilities - useless information, usually. Sadly it hasn't made me a millionaire - yet.

I've been told I look posh which I can't understand. I'm working class, survive on a small pension, never take holidays. I wear what I consider to be classic styles (not designer labels) and look after my clothes - but posh? No way.

couple weeks ago i went to a bar with two friends abd we are all in our 30s (i may be the oldest). I am also the tallest out of the three of us. I and my male friend had our ids but his partner who is the shortest did not yet the bouncer was adamant in seeing my id and was not bothered at all about the other lady. I wondered if he thinks im underage though id take that as a compliment, but the way he was acting was totally unnecessary😅

I’m an award winning knitwear designer and a very good cribbage player. I also play Dungeons and Dragons. Very few people would guess these things looking at me.

My son who’s just 21 is highly psychic he keeps it quiet and keeps it to himself as once people know they think you can tell their fortune 24/7 and like a magician know everything. He has been like this from birth and has guided me all my life. At 3 he kept talking about Germany and nazis who threw babies out of windows and I dreamt of Germany for 20 years before my son was born so I definitely believe in reincarnation. At 5 he told me there was a naughty mr near the bathroom in our apartment and he refused to go unless I went with him. When we moved out afterwards. A lady told us a drug addict had died at the very spot my son told me about. At 8 He told me to be careful as he knew I was going to have an accident and I did that very afternoon. He knew my mum was dying months before we knew she was I’ll when he was 11. He said that the angels kept telling him But he refused to tell me as he knew how upset I was going to be. When my mum went into hospital he told me to say my goodbyes and not be sad as it was her time to go and a lady was at her bedside ready to take her. My son stopped at his grandparents whilst I stayed in hospital willing her to pull through. He turned round to his grandma on day 9 and says. Nan I will be going soon mum will need me now nanny Norah has passed. She was shocked and he was back at our house within 2 hours. He said he knew his Nan had died as he saw her at his other nans so he just knew she had gone. Last year my best friend was upset as her sister was told she had breast cancer. My son said it’s ok mum they caught it early she will recover and be fine and it will never come back. He tells me stuff all the time and most of the time he’s very accurate. He always knows when I will call him on the phone or get home from the shops. Have been told by many mediums and psychics that we have a telepathic link. I was once told he was sent to guide me though life and to keep me safe. Well he’s doing an amazing job bless him I just wish he had the 6 numbers for the lottery though.

Overweight middle aged office worker here and people are so surprised when they find out I’m a weight lifter and I can move some serious kilos!!!

I look competent. I must do. Doctors assume I am a fellow doctor, specialists in various fields assume I am following along an intricate explanation. Sometimes I am, but it will float away five minutes later leaving me non the wiser.
it really worries me the weight people put on my advise, I always go into things as a subordinate supporting role but because of something how I present I get pushed to the front. On what grounds? On the basis that I read articles? That’s not a qualification.
and it’s not recent either, there was a terrible accident at school when I was 16 and the teachers themselves came to me to try and staunch the bleeding. I thought about what I heard about tourniquets and tied one on her arm. I still have nightmares to this day not being sure if I did the right thing.
I do tell people not to listen to me if I get bossy but I really don’t think they believe me.

I always think I have two contrasting sides to me - the middle class mum - a bit frumpy, sensible shoe type, I’m an accountant, good education, Mensa member who speaks fluent Latin and hobby is crochet and crossstitch.
then there’s the working class me - teenage mum, live in a council house, domestic abuse survivor (sent my ex dp to prison), spent years on benefits, and 2 evenings a week I pole dance in 8” platforms.
I’m also a vegetarian, yoga loving hippy who adores anything leopard print!

I don’t tick boxes or subscribe to any form of stereotyping.