To be sick of sister and BIL dictating everything on holiday?

[Imontopoftheworld]

Every single family holiday.

My BIL will turn his music on and god forbid anyone else can play theirs. So this weekend I was stuck listening to loud opera.

They decide what we eat and cook it. Im happy to cook but it’s not even an option. I was going to make a side dish to their dinner and it got questioned half to death by my sister I couldn’t be bothered

They and our parents sort all the meals and good out beforehand - I try and get involved but they do it when I’m not there. I contribute money to the food but apparently I’m not even trusted to buy any type of food.

I’m just sick of it. Because I’m not married or have children then they treat me like a baby and sit there and moan loudly about laziness being a horrible trait.

Go away by yourself next time!

Surely the simple solution is don't go? It doesn't sound fun!

Don’t go

Well as an adult surely the answer is don’t go on holidays with them

Don't go with them anymore, it sounds painful 🙂

Sounds horrible but why are you going on holiday with them at all if you don’t enjoy it? Is there a backstory as to why you have to go?

Could you sit down with them before a holiday and try to reach a compromise about you being able to have some input into things?

Stop going away with them.

either stop going or say something about it to them

Sorry I didn’t make it clear in my OP - it’s a holiday that my parents organise and pay for. They won’t accept contributions. We just contribute with the food etc

Tell them how you feel, they may not realise what they're doing

Speak up or stop going. They take over because everyone lets them.

Just because they pay doesn’t make it compulsory to attend.

at the end of the day the only way anything will change is if you speak up.

Say no in future, go on holiday on your own and if they ask why you aren't joining them on the family holiday, tell them!

You don't have to go, I assume you are an adult? Just say 'no thanks' next time they invite you. Take control of your own life.

Maybe take your mother aside first on her own and tell her how you're feeling? Also mention the snidey comments about laziness

I voted for yabu. Only because you continue going away on holiday with them. Time to either fly the nest or buy yourself some good headphones and your own food. Can you talk to your parents about this ?

Don’t go on holiday with them. If you do, go out for some meals without them.

It doesn't matter who pays. If you don't enjoy it, don't go.

Just don’t go then

especially if it’s something that always happens and always upsets you

So? You still don't have to go. FGS organise your own holidays and leave them to get on with it.

So do you have to take a week’s leave from work for this?

Do you actually want to go on the holiday?

They do sound bossy and controlling. Your options are to tackle it, by saying so, to go with the flow and try and enjoy yourself anyway, or just never go on this holiday again.

They sound weird and horrible. Just decline the invitation next time.

You are behaving like a baby. Don't go. It's as simple as that.

You don't need to go.

Oh OP, I was you many years ago and feel your pain.

I can't offer any solutions - eventually we all went our separate ways.

To those who say "don't go", it's not always that easy. I was being difficult, unfair to my parents who wanted their family together etc etc etc.

Commenting on the arrangements is fraught too. With me it was always 3 against 1 (with my father not wanting to upset my mother but seeing my point) and I was the one causing trouble. There was no attempt to accommodate me or my preferences at all.

And yes, single daughters have a pretty rough deal in the family dynamic.