...to think that most people live near family?

[ImplementingTheDennisSystem]

DH and I moved 4 years ago to a beautiful little town in an area we love, and have worked hard to establish a great social network here. We have no links to the area and our family are all scattered and hours away from us. There is no central family 'hub' for us to move to.

But I'm having a wobble having had the realisation that most people I know - both here and elsewhere - live near family. Family is the focus of activity for so many friends and forms a key part of their social lives (and obligations). I'm feeling a bit dislocated and worried that friendships are potentially a bit fleeting compared to the solidity of family. People will understandably always prioritise their family, so will that leave me feeling continually sidelined?

Have you successfully built a life nowhere near family? If so, how do you feel about this and does your situation feel 'solid'?

I haven't lived near family since I was 18 and I like it just fine. Right now I live in south america while my parents live in western Europe and my brother in northern europe. Suits me fine. I think sticking to the same area all your life just to be near family is weird, don't people have their own lives to live ? Plus when I see all the drama about elderly parents on these boards I'm glad to be away.

But different things suit different people, take the approach that work best for you. I find I enjoy meeting the family way more when it's an event (gathering for Christmas once a year for instance) than if I had to deal with them all year round. Makes it easier to overlook their most annoying traits.

We don't but I agree with you that most people do. It makes a huge difference.

My parents and both my sisters are non-residents of the UK but my brother and my in-laws are two stops on the tube.

Depends what you mean by near - I think most people live within a couple of hours of their family (close enough to visit in a day) but I think it's more unusual now to live in the same neighbourhood, or at least it is where I am. I find it a bit weird when people live in the same place that they grew up in.

Don't live anywhere near my family. We are spread across 3 countries and several different counties

My family live abroad and I'm a single parent. It's been hard, but I muddle through. Manage to support my daughter, our pony, our dog and our many other pets whilst working full time. You just muddle through somehow

DH and I have lived away from our families for over 20 years (good 200 miles away). We both have hobbies which means we have a great network of friends and having DC has meant it is hard work as we have no one to babysit or collect the kids if they are sick. We are lucky in that both our jobs are really flexible and wouldn’t mind us working from home or finishing early to pick up sick kids. It’s doable and both our families are quite intense so we only see them a few times a year which suits us fine!

Its different for different people. You just happen either to be in a "bubble" where something seems normal, or you happen to notice it more.

We don’t live near our families and don’t get together with them much. We have lots of friends but yes, I think there’s a difference. We seem to have a lot more free time/weekends than our friends and it’s because they fill a lot of time seeing family compared to us. Especially true on special occasions like Easter or Mothers Day etc.

My extended family is anywhere between 3,000 and 8,000 miles away all across the globe. It’s only me, my DH and our DC that still live in the U.K.

Nope. 2 hours minimum from inlaws. Closer to my parents but haven't seen or spoken to them this year.

We’ve done the same but failed at making any real social connections. I find it lonely

My closest family is a 3 hour flight away. I’m extremely happy I live in a big international city where most people are in the same situation. I could never live more rurally where people tend to be close to their families or older friends.

None of my friends or extended social circle have family nearby. We can always count on someone to meet for dinner. The only time it gets a bit quieter is Christmas and the summer holidays as we tend to travel to family.

Never lived near family since I went to university 45 years ago. Quite happy with that. My adult dcs Iive 300 miles away.

I live on the same street as my mum, brother, sister (niece nephew) other sister just round the corner with niece and gran over the road lol we all see was her other more or less everyday

I don't live near any of my family. I split up with my dp last year. It's just me and my DS now. I do have the best friends though. I just see my family whenever I can and speak to them all regularly on the phone

That sounds so suffocating to me but each to their own lol.

We’re about 100 miles from my family (OH doesn’t have much of a family left) and going through a very difficult time. It’s the first time, in over 20 years, that I miss having some family support
Friends are great, but it’s not the same for me (I feel like I’m imposing upon them)

Its a really interesting question! All but one couple in my little social group live MILES from their parents, with a high proportion of those parents living outside England / the UK. I guess that would be quite odd for some people, but its the normal for us.

My exHs friends from his childhood have mostly stayed in the area where they grew up. They're nice people but I always found their mindsets to be so different to mine and exHs.

I don't. But the pandemic has made me rethink that. I do wonder if moving nearer would be a better option.

I seem to remember reading half of Britons live within 15 miles of birthplace.

I have no wider family near to me. My sisters live in Devon and Jersey. 1 Niece in Nottingham another in Bath. Dd in Bristol. DS in North East and in-law in North East. I am in Midlands with DH and adult DS.

We've never been geographically close to family apart from not a particularly close relative about 25 miles away everyone else is 50-250 miles away in the UK, some abroad. It's never been a problem. I was the one who moved away for uni and never went back to where I came from.

I would quite like it if my parents lived closer though, maybe about 30 miles away. Close, but not too close if you know what I mean :)

I live around 3 hrs from my family but most of them have remained in that area. But they are my safe place and I do make a big effort to be around when I can and for celebrations. I’ve never had friendships as close as my family connections but that can be quite claustrophobic in itself. I do imagine I will go back to that location once my DM falls to Ill health or I retire. There’s good and bad with both and the balance can be hard to find.

I'd have to go to Heaven to visit most of my family. The other living members are scattered all over, none nearby, which is just as well.