To object to my manager arriving at my house

[HerveLeger]

My line manager turned up at my house at 14:00 today. Rang the doorbell - I didn’t answer because I wasn’t expecting a delivery. I live in the middle of nowhere, I don’t get random callers. I don’t lock my back door. Next thing I know, my manager is in my house. “Just checking”. Apparently I sounded a bit weird in the team meeting this morning. Which is odd, as I didn’t actually speak in the team meeting. Am I BUR to find this completely inappropriate? She is a lovely person and I have had some mental health issues in the past. For which she has been very supportive. But this was one day - half a day, when I wasn’t present at work. She let herself in.. next thing I knew, she was in my sitting room. It was a bit scary :(

My first thought I’d it was scary finding manager there better her than a burglar. Just because you are rural doesn’t mean you won’t be targeted.
Seems odd to be scared to open door but then have door unlocked.
If it’s not normal for you to disappear off Teams for 3.5 hours and you have MH issues then she was obviously very concerned. You must have done something during morning meeting to sound out of sorts.
Not sure what policy is but we are very flexible and I wouldn’t just disappear eg I’d make it clear in my diary I had a dr appointment etc.
I’d agree in future between you a plan so she’s not worried.

What trouble? I'm deffo in the camp that she must have had legitimate concerns therefore was only carrying out a welfare check on a colleague? She presumably didn't drive miles up country lanes for a jolly. Shouldn't we be recognising the good intent in this rather than gleefully flogging the manager?

Door chains or looking out a window are a thing.

Just strikes me as odd to routinely not answer the door. Fair enough if you are in the shower/ don't hear it etc but to just never answer? Just overly paranoid and leads to situations like this.

What she (or "work*) knows about your mental health history , is the reason she both turned up and came in. She was concerned there might be some MH crisis. Perhaps you've seemed less well recently.?

Don't shoot the messenger, she meant well. Be glad she has your back. Many people with MH problems are entirely on their own .

I really get the impression your manager done this out of concern. We all harp on that basic humanity is all but lost, well that is what she did! Something about your behaviour felt 'off' so she called in to check on you. Is that always the correct/ corporate/ strict HR way to be probably not.

I live about 1/2 mile from the nearest neighbour on a farm and always open my door. It does surprise me when someone calls though! The post woman often leaves parcels just inside the back door if it is raining

I find it odd never to answer door. Things recently with us were neighbour knocking to say garden parasol had blown over fence on to our car and a friends son popping in as his gf’s little boy had fallen on park nearby and needed cleaning up/a plaster.

I had to do this with one of my employees one day. No contact, no contact with her NOK. Found her in her bedroom overdosed. Had I been half an hour later she would have died.

And no I didn't get into trouble for it at work. Moreover, our welfare check policy was changed because it was woefully inadequate. Had I followed the policy she wouldnt have been found!!

I think it’s odd not to answer the door.

and it’s doubly odd to not answer it knowing that the house is unlocked.

We lived many years in the "middle of nowhere" . If anyone turned up at our remote doorstep, either, they needed help; or, they were crooks looking to see if anyone was in. So I ALWAYS answered the door. So did a large well trained dog.

Very weird but it’s nice that she cares about you.

So we’re focusing on OP not answering the door (which is fine) but not on the fact that the manager let herself in to her house and sat in the lounge? A massive invasion of privacy. Did she even try to call first? Or message to say she was popping over? Not on.

If they’d been trying to get hold of the OP for days then maybe she would have justification for going over but even then you don’t just enter someone’s house!

Just reread that she didn’t even try to call. I’d complain to HR. Can we stop focusing on the OP not answering the door!

Has the manager got form for invasive behaviour?

I mean if not, they must have had a reason they felt the need to do this? Come on OP, you must see that people need a bloody good reason to do something so inconvenient.

I suspect the OP sounded more strange during the meeting than she realizes...if she's in the throws of a period of mental I'll health then she is very likely not to realise how she may be coming across to other people. She likely genuinely thinks she sounded normal.

Even the OPs posts are reading slightly off to me. I would be worried too if I were her line manager.

If the manager was concerned she should have tried to get hold of the OP on the phone.
Or emailed saying ‘bit worried about your tone in the meeting today - can we have a catch up call later/please pop in to the office tomorrow for a chat’

The correct response to being a bit worried is not to bypass all these channels, rock up at your house and let yourself in and have a sit down on the sofa! It’s highly unprofessional and a massive invasion of privacy. The OP has said she had many hours of overtime banked. There has been no effort to contact her over any concerns. I would be raising a grievance with HR.

So what if the OP ignored the door? She could have been having a shower, in the middle of a call etc etc. We don’t always have to answer the bloody door! Especially if the most likely person is a delivery driver for next door.

The replies on here are fucking nuts. Like everyone would be just peachy if they walked into their front room and their boss was sitting there. I mean just think about that for a moment.

Maybe the OP has form for not answering their phone either

Where does it state she was sitting in OPs house?

Agree the replies are completely nuts and Mumsnet at its finest really.

Let’s focus on the fact the OP ignored the door rather than the massive invasion of privacy from the boss (who didn’t even bother to call or message before turning up)

Where does it state she sat down on the sofa?

The not telephoning or trying to contact eg via email or chat first is odd unless you sounded really unwell and she’s rushed over or she was nearby.

@SmartCarDriver the first post from the OP says ‘next thing I knew she was sat in my house’

Think the thread got derailed by the outrage the the OP didn’t answer the door so this very important detail was missed.

It says

She let herself in.. next thing I knew, she was in my sitting room.

Oh yes ok @SmartCarDriver I saw the word sitting.

But if she let herself in and was just standing in the sitting room then that is ok and changes everything.

It's just that a number of people outraged by the manager, seem to be saying she was sat, for extra drama? Or you coincidentally lack comprehension skills?