To object to my manager arriving at my house

[HerveLeger]

My line manager turned up at my house at 14:00 today. Rang the doorbell - I didn’t answer because I wasn’t expecting a delivery. I live in the middle of nowhere, I don’t get random callers. I don’t lock my back door. Next thing I know, my manager is in my house. “Just checking”. Apparently I sounded a bit weird in the team meeting this morning. Which is odd, as I didn’t actually speak in the team meeting. Am I BUR to find this completely inappropriate? She is a lovely person and I have had some mental health issues in the past. For which she has been very supportive. But this was one day - half a day, when I wasn’t present at work. She let herself in.. next thing I knew, she was in my sitting room. It was a bit scary :(

I'm confused, isn't it annoying and rude you've just turned up unannounced at someone's door and expect them to answer it?

But then don't be surprised if someone thinks you have an issue with your health if they walk in if you keep your door unlocked or contact the police about you.

Because why wouldn't you?

If it's a chugger or someone you just tell them to go away. If it's someone with a purpose then you avoid situations like this.

I'd answer my phone though! If the police turned up then I would answer, but not to some random person knocking at my door, especially as a woman living alone.

Because it's safer not to answer my door to a stranger? They could easily push past me and get into my home?

Well in one respect it's lovely that she's concerned about you but turning up on your doorstep in an out of the way location is perhaps taking it too far. I live in Cornwall so know about out of the way locations, visited one the other day and the mile drive off road was interesting especially as it was narrow, bumpy with a small stream on one side and the heavens opened!

I think perhaps you need to have a chat with her about boundaries

There is nothing at all wrong with not answering the door to unexpected callers when you need uninterrupted concentration, or, indeed, for any reason. I don't answer the door when I'm working, either. And that's fine. It's my house.

OP - no one should be walking into your property uninvited in this way, line manager or not. That's crossing a line: people including employees are entitled to have their privacy respected. If it really is a serious safeguarding issue then the appropriate thing to do is contact the authorities and have them handle it.

YANBU. In any way.

You mentioned disappearing for half a day/a day. As your line manager she has a duty of care. When I was a line manager I had someone who didn't come back in the day she was expected back from leave and I ended up calling her mobile, her house phone and her girlfriend to make sure she was ok. As it turned out it was mix up on dates but that's beside the point, I had a responsibility to make sure age was ok and your line manager has the same to you. Actually walking into the house is arguably a step too far but knocking on the front door was entirely reasonable.

Also the taking a nap during work hours but with flexi time is also absolutely fine (I do step away from my desk sometimes if I feel a migraine coming on) but just send a one-line message to your manager to let her know you won't be available for a while first and the she won't worry about you.

You went to bed and left the back door open?

I don't think it's unreasonable for a manager of someone with known MH issues to do a welfare check on a team member who has disappeared without warning.

The word you're missing here is 'micro management'.

If productivity is under par or other issues are affecting an employee's performance, that's the time to step in with a structure. The upshot is: are employees trusted to work from home, or work independently in any circumstances where they're not being constantly monitored over their shoulder, or not?

If the answer to that is 'not', my employers could let me know and I'd take my chances elsewhere. Walking into someone else's home is never in any circumstances acceptable. I'd be taking this further and making absolutely certain there would be no repetition.

I can't believe people are actively defending this madness, and would put money on it that they'd be less than impressed if it ever happened to them. This site can be a strange parallel universe at times.

Because it's safer not to answer my door to a stranger? They could easily push past me and get into my home?

Even safer if OP doesn't have open doors.

I'm conflicted about this situation. On the one hand, I understand that for you it was quite a shock to see your manager in your house. On the other hand, if I were a friend or a relation of yours, and something had happened to you, I would be beside myself with anguish and anger if I knew that your workplace suspected something untoward about your situation but didn't act on it.

Manager aside, this is no reason to not answer the door? The very fact that it apparently so difficult for someone to make it all the way there would make it more likely to be necessary, surely JW and the like wouldn't end up there.

Because it's safer not to answer my door to a stranger? They could easily push past me and get into my home?

Do you leave your back door open like the OP then? Because they don't need to charge past you at all

My mind is blown that 19% think YABU

This manager is in for a whole world of trouble, you can't do this.

It is normal to not answer the door.

It really is.

OP, once the manager was in your house what was said?

The more the OP posts the less sympathetic I feel (and the more outing her posts become too!). I doubt we are getting the full story from the OP or at least a one sided story. I suspect the OP does have mental health problems more severe than she is letting on, I suspect, from her reference to us 'townies', that she's also not used to a 'normal' working environment where you are expected to be available during the hours you are being paid to work, rather than go for a nap, and I suspect the manager DID try to get a hold of the OP in other ways but couldn't because the OP had buggered off for a nap. Its not nice to have your privacy invaded but dont give the manager a reason to do this either.

I don't get why people find it so odd you didn't answer the door. I do the same as a single woman.
If no family/friends told you they were coming it could only be a canvasser😖/parcel for another house 🙄/con artist trying to worm their way in 😳/or manager come to check up on you!!!😱

I suspect you are right!

Haha - quite often people living in more remote areas just walk in after shouting their name. Caught us out when we lived for a while in the Highlands. Watching tv one day and next thing we know, neighbour is in the living room. Just as well we hadn't been christening the new house...

Only on mumsnet. It is very unusual not to where I live, among my friends or among my family.

I had some flowers delivered recently I wasn't expecting them, and I'm glad I answered the door.

In the event that somebody does not turn up for work and is not contactable, then we do send somebody round to ensure they are actually ok. My team are aware that this is the process. I recall an horrendous story of somebody not turning up for work and two colleagues going to do a check and they had to call the police to break in. Two of the occupants had been murdered by the third who had attempted suicide. Had the employer not been to check it could have been three deaths.

I don't get this not responding to a door knock - it isn't normal really. If I am on my own and its unexpected or late evening etc I stick my head out the main bathroom window (Opens top to bottom) and check out who it is, and if am happy to speak/meet go and answer the door. I think if security is such an issue where you are then get a ring doorbell