Dog tried to bite my baby

[UserICantThinkOfAUsername]

Morning all. So I've never had dogs, don't know much about them, never really trusted them either.

Yesterday at my PIL house one of the dogs tried to bite my 11 month olds nose in a completely unprovoked attack (she was just crawling next to the dog). Luckily my partner was quick and stopped the dog but she almost bit our LG nose. I didn't allow the dog near her the rest of the day. Previously, said dog has been very protective of my baby and gets upset when she cries etc so we are shocked she's tried biting her. But obviously now I do not trust the dog at all... I am also due our 3rd baby in September who PIL are the default childcare if I go into hospital (planning a homebirth). It's a very close family and we regularly go to their house for gatherings. AIBU to say I will not be going to their home anymore with children if said dog is there?

Yanbu do not let your children there if dog there. Can anyone else look after your children

Keep the baby off the floor away from the dog/ dog on a lead/ dog in another room

Personally I’d never let any dog be around my little ones even if I trusted the dog 100% baby’s don’t act in a predictable way and that can unsettle even the calmest of dogs

You are right to be concerned. Ask your PIL (or better yet, ask your DH to speak to them) to keep the dog in another room whilst your DC is there. I presume they can install a pressure gate in the doorway fairly easily.
Good luck with the birth, congratulations!

Thanks all! I can definitely ask for dog to be kept in another room but I suppose it's that mum worry of not trusting that a close eye is kept and the dog might still come into contact with my girl. I just don't want to be seen as too precious or difficult if I say I'm not comfortable if the dog is in the house full stop 😥

You absolutely need to keep your kids away from a dog who's tried to bite them. Not unreasonable at all to speak to PIL and say dogs need to be separate.

Absolutely no way I would have been letting an 11 month old crawl around the floor so close to any dog so you were wrong to allow that to happen. I do agree you need to keep the baby and dog physically separated from now on though for both their sakes.

I would rate your concern about seeming "too precious" as bottom of the list in comparison with the risk of your child being bitten.

Do not ever leave your child in the unsupervised care of your PIL.

Anyone who has a visiting child or baby and does not put their dog in a separate room is irresponsible.

Agree with everyone, dog must be kept away from DD, even a single defensive/reactive snap could cause serious harm to a baby or child. In the first instance I’d ask for the dog to be kept in another room.

You are massively underreacting. What did your in laws say when the attack happened? Unless they were very vocal about making sure the dog is nowhere near their baby grandchild I wouldn't come back to their house again

I don't think this is really fair, it's a family dog that has been around the other children for around 3 years, including my older son who was only a baby when dog was brought home. If I ever thought there was a chance this dog could do this I wouldn't have allowed it, but plenty of families have dogs ?

Thank you! I was worried about overreacting as I'm not familiar with dogs so not sure what's normal or not if that makes sense! They were in another room when it happened so not sure of the conversation when they were told by someone else. It was a very hectic day and I felt so confused by the incident!

Absolutely no way I would have been letting an 11 month old crawl around the floor so close to any dog so you were wrong to allow that to happen. I do agree you need to keep the baby and dog physically separated from now on though for both their sakes.

This

We have 2 dogs who love people and are great with children, but we always ensure they are fully supervised when we have children visit. How did your PIL's react when the dog tried to bite your DD?

I agree in that you shouldn’t allow a child to crawl around any dog at all; they can feel threatened.

I agree with this. There has been a couple of incidents in the family with docile dogs that didn't intend to harm. If a dog is startled/hurt by a child when asleep, they can have a bite reflex. I wouldn't have a child and dog on the same level where the dog could reach child's nose in the first place

Reading previous behaviour as 'protective' is usually incorrect. Sounds like no one in the family actually understands dogs, notices discomfort/anxiety cues and have inadvertently forced the you, your child and the dog into a terrible situation. You are right to fully protect your child. As a pp said, I'd not allow crawling around ANY dog. Keep them totally separate.

Dogs shouldn’t be near crawling babies. So there should be a way to separate them - gates etc - and everyone should do that as standard from now on. What did your in-laws do/say/suggest when this happened? Responsible dog owners would already be thinking of how to separate dogs and children if this happened.

I’d give the benefit of the doubt once i.e. go over again with the expectation that measures had been put into place to separate the dogs and kids, and if they hadn’t or your in-laws don’t seem to be taking it seriously then I’d not take my DC there or allow them to mind DC with dogs present - they could leave dogs behind and look after your DC at your house when you’re in labour.

Don’t let anyone tell you you’re overreacting.

Previously, said dog has been very protective of my baby and gets upset when she cries

This is a misunderstanding of what the dog was trying to communicate. It was stressed by the presence of the baby. Stress - if ignored - eventually leads to a reaction like biting. Have a read up on dog signals of stress (licking lips, turning head away, whining, staring). Dogs only snap or bite as last line of defence/communication- the dog will 100% have been trying to tell you all that it was unhappy, it won’t have come out of the blue, even if it seems that way to you. It’s just the first warning signs were missed - lots of people don’t recognise when dogs are trying to communicate stress.

To the dog it wouldn't have been unprovoked, your baby was crawling, the dog might have been giving warnings which wasn't noticed and so snapped. The dog snapped, it didn't bite, that's a warning. For whatever reason, jealously or fear, the dog must be away until the children can be taught how to behave around dogs. Realistically the dog can't be out of the house, in all weathers. You can get crates large enough for every breed, which might be a solution. The dog should be given tasty treats/chew sticks when in there so it doesn't see the crate as a punishment.

This. I’d be the most precious and difficult person in the world to keep my child safe from a dog bite.

It’s absolutely imperative to enforce child/dog separation, especially now you’ve witnessed an incident: that’s strike one. Can you get alternative childcare for when the new baby arrives?

OP, ignore Pp overreacting about “you shouldn’t have let your baby crawl near a dog”; that’s absolutely ridiculous when the dog has shown no previous negative behaviour towards your kids.
Going forward you definitely shouldn’t allow your PIL to watch the kids unless the dog is elsewhere. They should also investigate why the dog behaved in such an unusual way, starting with a vet check. They could follow up with a behavioural session after if no obvious cause is found at the vet check. But it will be completely up to you whether you ever trust this dog again.
I really hope you do better than I have with my own parents and their dog; I’ve never taken my kids to their house as I don’t trust their dog (and I say this as a qualified dog behaviour consultant!) yet they still won’t crate the dog when we ask to visit.

Dogs and babies should always be monitored closely - I wouldn't have let the baby crawl near the dog like that in the first place. Was there a toy nearby? Or food? Or something the dog found valuable? Does the baby grab at the dog? These things can all play a part. I am not saying it is right or ok what has happened, I am just pointing out there are many facets to dog behaviour.

I would be mindful of using the word "attacked" it wasn't an attack at all.

This was caused by bad management on your part I'm afraid OP and yes you need to take steps in the future to ensure it doesn't happen again. You say the dog previous "got upset if the baby cried" (or words to that effect). How do you know the baby wasn't stressing the dog our as opposed to the animal being upset? You don't.

Always err on the side of caution. As much as it pains me to say this it is your fault not the dog's. We as a society expect dogs to tolerate so much and of course they have limits.

In my day job I have seen the result of dog bites on children and babies.

Please stop putting children and dogs together unless the dog is muzzled or dead.

I have worked with dogs my whole life and was raised around them but they have an inner narrative too and putting them in a position where they can end up dead at the vets because of a decision by humans and your DC can have life long facial scars and all for no reason at all, is crazy - genuinely.

We have 2 dogs, and even though I have full trust in them, both dogs and toddlers are unpredictable! We keep ours separated using a baby gate, so they can all see each other and interact but everyone has the option to move away if they want to. We only have small dogs so the very worst that could happen is one of them bites DC hand if they stick in through the gate. Still a worry but knowing it could never end in a serious attack and hurt any of them, dog or child, gives me so much peace of mind.
YANBU to be upset by the incident, but I don't like it when dogs are shut into a separate room which is out of the norm for them in their own home. I'd say just don't take DC to their house, have them come to you from now on.

Even closely monitored doesn't cut it. A dog can snap in a tenth of a second and remove a piece of tissue that needs skin grafts and eight surgeries.

And the dog having previously been ‘good’ around children doesn’t mean it will continue to be ‘good’ forever in all circumstances. A young dog coping with one baby/toddler could be fine, then as more kids come along and everything gets more chaotic (you mention the day was ‘hectic’) the dog can get its stress triggers stacked up and that’s when problems occur. But definitely dogs cannot be near crawling babies, and should be closely, closely supervised with toddlers and young children, and everyone should follow rules to give space and keep everyone happy and safe.