To think this is wrong...parents leaving kids during sleepover

[Maves]

There are a lot of other issues with this family but recently found this out...the first time my child (12) went for a sleepover at her friends house the parents told them around 8.30pm they were "going to the office" (15/20) mins away.
Anyway the dad came back 2 hours later his dc ask where's mum "at the pub" he said.
The mum in dc words "stumbles in" later slurring saying "sorry it's been a shit night I think I have covid" she was pissed up.
So basically they hadn't entertained the kids at any point just lied they were going to the office at 8.30 at night and fucked off to get pissed.

She had left my dc and her friend (12) and their other dc (9) bare in mind she has to get babysitters for her kids when they go out. I'm pissed off this is just the final nail on a big fuck off coffin with these people. When I have sleepovers I cook, try and plan activities etc if the kids want to but I would never in a million years leave someone's child unattended!! Especially at night time! The kids are only really just 12 so not even 12/13.

I've not said anything yet for the kids sake but should I? Apart from this the woman is honestly unbearable anyway....this incident happened a few months ago before any other incident o didn't know her beforehand as it's a friend my dc made when starting secondary.

Yanbu OP

@Goldenbear
Im older than you. I was quite old and responsible enough at 12 and very pleased to earn the money. But then I didn’t have much of a childhood tbh as I was responsible for several younger siblings including two toddlers and a baby from age 10. Only babysitting one child or baby at a time was very easy to me compared to my home life.

There are a lot of other elements going on but that's a whole other thread and no if I knew then my dd wouldn't have stayed over...dad came back yes after at least 2 hours I'm not sure on time scales it was late though..and they lied and said they were "nipping" to the office. @Janedoe82 yes she is posh, he's quite normal though.
There was no reason for them both to go to "the office" as she doesn't work plus there are 2 offices in the home.
If they thought their 12 ur old was responsible enough to babysit the 9 year old then they wouldn't need babysitters they always ask ME to babysit which I have done a few times.
I feel like she thought my dd was there to babysit in a way but her son can be hard work feels sick/hurts himself alot crying etc. something pretty life changing happened to him a couple years ago due to him not being supervised so I thought they be more on the ball.

He was unsupervised in the home when it happened...it happened the first time...they left him unsupervised in the situation a second time and it happened again but worse,

They left 2 12 year olds in charge of a 9 year old between 8:30-10:30. Absolutely fine. Kids that age will probably just either be asleep or be watching TV or playing games.

How pissed can she have gotten in less than 2 hours? Also I presume the kids have mobile phones so can phone if they need to?

You keep adding very exaggerated and unlikely details and if they were as bad as all that then why let your child have a sleepover?

I picked up on page one that your dd had been with these kids, and parent, in a pub and the parent was drinking doubles and drove home with the kids prior to this? And you still let her go for a sleepover?!

You seem to be insinuating here that there's a drinking problem going on and the kids are unsafe. If that's how you feel you should contact social services.

You obviously feel very strongly about this so the clearest thing to do is stop your dd being in situations like this with this family.

The parents need to check you're happy that they leave them, even when they are slightly older.

If I have someone else's kids in my house (at that age) for a sleepover I make sure I am home save popping the shop etc as I am responsible for other people's kids nit just my own. Yanbu

Ok it wasn't just the fact they went regardless when the dd came back...my daughter didn't know the dad as well as she knew mum at this point....it was the fact that the adult who was meant to be taking care of her cane back in a state clearly drunk saying she had covid and apologising the kids had had a shit night....the drink drive situation was very recent I found out about the sleepover the day before that.

I was reluctant to let them go but due to what the activity was I was confident no drinking was involved...they still drank before the activity which there was no need/point in doing it didn't involve needing to drink.

something pretty life changing happened to him a couple years ago due to him not being supervised so I thought they be more on the ball

Drip drip drip 💧

If you knew all this before why the hell would you let your DD stay over in the first place?

@RichardOsmansXraySpecs 😂 about drip I didn't want to out the kid! And as I said I let them go thinking they'd be supervised if I'm drip feeding maybe it's because I was drip fed their bullshit but by then it had already happened I've left a lot of stuff out of my post as it's so unbelievable that it will put everyone involved and I care about thier kids.
All the info I found out the "real" details after the event so I obviously wouldn't have let them have my kids.

The thing with the son could of happened supervised or not BUT I didn't know he wasn't supervised even after it happened the first time.
Fucking hell

What are you hoping for from this thread @Maves? It's up to you who looks after your children for any good or bad reasons you may have, and you've had validation that most people wouldn't leave the kids alone for 2 hours and certainly wouldn't drive drunk. The drink driving is a far worse event, you should know that because that's the one that's actually illegal. The bit about whether mum or dad is charge is a bit silly, because one parent is sufficient, but it seems more important to you than drink driving. Still, you had some validation and yet regardless, you are continually adapting stories claiming there is other information. What's your purpose here? Is it that you want the parents or someone who knows them to find this? Why post anonymously if that's the case?

The parents were responsible for your child. Kids shouldn’t have been left alone. 12 is such a cusp age, should they be left home in the day? Do you still get a babysitter in for evenings? But when you’re responsible for someone else’s child, you don’t leave them to babysit a9 year old and come home pissed.

Yanbu.

@MRex I didn't add all details as thier are kids involved. I don't care if someone sees it? My name isn't actually that annonomous actually.

I didn't start a thread on "drink driving" as that's a police matter. Though I do realise it looks bloody awful. Me finding out about the sleepover and the drinking thing happened on the same day. Obviously my kids will never be going in a car with them again.
I just wanted others opinions on leaving them yes there are other things involved but have to be careful what I say. I didn't know wether I was within my rights to say something regarding leaving the kids.
In all fairness I know adding everything up it all needs sorting out.

You don't need to say anything about them leaving kids, you just don't leave your child with them ever again and two your child not to get in their car, then the issue is fixed for you. I'd have reported drink driving to police at the time personally. I'm still really unclear why you see drink driving as less important than 2* 12yos having just 2 hours unsupervised in a house, which is not illegal. Seems like a very quirky risk assessment going on, I'm just struggling to understand it.

@Maves yeah shouldn't have said 'entertain' MNetters take the literal meaning out of everything and focus on that one thing instead of the whole post itself. Very bizarre people on here

I’d expect them to entertain themselves, that’s literally the point of a sleepover but the rest of it is out of order.

@watchingrnfire you got that right! Very strange!
@MRex yeah you are right drink driving is worse and again not so much the leaving 12 ur olds more the 9 year old who can't be trusted and it's not my dds..... but yes they won't be going in a car with them again or stopping there.

I really can't see an issue leaving2 12 year olds from 8-10pm es I especially in June when it's still broad daylight.I think you need t stop treating your dd like an 8 yea old

@fUNNYfACE36 read the thread this was months ago I found out the other day...they were left with a 9 year old...8.30 till home 11 if your bothered read you'd see why I was concerned treat her like she's 8? They'd only just turned 12 belive me I don't treat her like she's 8 far from it 😂.

Nothing to do with school.

Exactly why sleepovers are unwise.

Hahahhahaa you expected them to entertain your kids (jewellery making. Baking etc bahahha) yabVU. It is a sleepover
I wouldnt entertain 12 year olds. Who would haha.

But.... the fact they left all the kids and went out it BIZARRe.

But considering you already had many complaints about this family... I feel like you should have never have allowed your kids there for a sleepover in the first place
Even the fact you send a 9yo with a bunch of 12yos.. not age appropriate

Wow, let's all encourage are young children to be precocious and old before their time as wanting your 12 year old to behave like a 16 year old is entirely reasonable, normal behaviour. Far better to expose them to all the shitty, shallow inane crap that is Tik Tok and Instagram than encourage your child to develop an imagination and dare i say it a personality!

@Marvellousmadness read the thread 🙄and the kids enjoy that shit as I've said pahaha or whatever you said.
If you'd read even the original post you'd know it's not my 9 year old.
Your child might want to sit on their phone all night but mine and there friends don't and I'm quite happy about that because they are KIDS and shouldn't be made to feel embarrassed about acting thier ages instead of acting like teenagers before thier time.