To think this is wrong...parents leaving kids during sleepover

[Maves]

There are a lot of other issues with this family but recently found this out...the first time my child (12) went for a sleepover at her friends house the parents told them around 8.30pm they were "going to the office" (15/20) mins away.
Anyway the dad came back 2 hours later his dc ask where's mum "at the pub" he said.
The mum in dc words "stumbles in" later slurring saying "sorry it's been a shit night I think I have covid" she was pissed up.
So basically they hadn't entertained the kids at any point just lied they were going to the office at 8.30 at night and fucked off to get pissed.

She had left my dc and her friend (12) and their other dc (9) bare in mind she has to get babysitters for her kids when they go out. I'm pissed off this is just the final nail on a big fuck off coffin with these people. When I have sleepovers I cook, try and plan activities etc if the kids want to but I would never in a million years leave someone's child unattended!! Especially at night time! The kids are only really just 12 so not even 12/13.

I've not said anything yet for the kids sake but should I? Apart from this the woman is honestly unbearable anyway....this incident happened a few months ago before any other incident o didn't know her beforehand as it's a friend my dc made when starting secondary.

@RandomQuest yes I mentioned the "entertaining" in my op as a way of saying I'm actually there in the house I suppose. I didn't want this to be the focus of the thread. And wether people think it's ok to leave thier own kids that's up to them but you're don't just leave mine! Without checking.

I think you need to be the one checking then. Its really not unusual to leave a y7 for a few hours. Take the lead on that if you feel so strongly.

I wouldn't be happy, if you have other kids at your home you're responsible for supervision and care, and I would expect an adult present in the home at all times. If mine had sleepovers it was a movie night with popcorn etc then camping out in the living room. I wouldn't have planned anything, the movie night was just the standard thing.

The 12 year olds are fine for an hour or 2 in a normal situation but they were left in charge of a 9 year old who isn't sensible. And this was late at night in a house that is isolated and a target for break ins. The house was unlocked 3 sets of doors open.

How do you know ALL doors were unlocked?

(but I agree with you)

I honestly don't get Mumsnet sometimes. Under normal circumstances mention that you have half a larger shandy on a Saturday night and people label you an alcoholic but leave your kids and other visiting kids alone for hours and return pissed out of your tree and apparently that's nothing to be concerned about.

Leaving the 12 year old alone and not entertaining them wouldn't bother me, I generally would not have left the 9yr old with them and certainly wouldn't drink and drive at all.

*lager shandy

Leaving your own 12 yr old DC for a couple of hours is fine, leaving someone else's DC for a couple of hours is a big fat no. They are your responsibility when at yours for a sleepover. Leaving them to get drunk is a whole other side of atrocious.

YANBU, it is just not the age you do that. My 15 year old is at our house with his friends, they then usually go out, even then I still feel I should feed them etc. As does my DH. I have an 11 year old year 6 so obviously still primary but at their sleepovers they make things and even play with lego/playability. Lots of dancing and active games outside, I really don't think it is 'usual' to only be interested in phones and gossip at 12!

This. Totally feckless.

I know they were unlocked 100percent the main door was actually left wide open which it is for the dog till about 9.30 at night

15 year old is in the house with friends on their own that should read.

Yanbu I wouldn’t be impressed at all.

They'll be playing with knives next 😆
Honestly OP it was bad enough you don't have to keep adding to it to justify yourself.

And I wouldn't even get drunk in the house when looking after someone else's child, let alone go out somewhere to get pissed. Totally irresponsible.

Why are so many of you tutting about the OP offering her DD and her mates entertaining stuff to do, by themselves, rather than criticising the parents who left her child with two others at night to get pissed in the pub? Priorities, people!

OP, you should absolutely call the parents for this and let the girls' school know. Guarantee it won't be a one-off and it's a huge safeguarding issue, especially for the younger one.

Your mistake was posting this on AIBU OP.
Any views expressed on here are not necessarily those of the person posting them.

at 12 I really wouldn’t see an issue then being left for a couple of hours. But then we left our two home for a week at 16 when we went on holiday.

at 12-13 they’d often camp out at friends for the weekend little parent involvement.

I think it's fine to leave 2 12 year olds for a couple of hours. Most parents would not expect to "entertain" them.

The worries would be leaving the 9 year old and exactly how drunk the parents were (too drunk to be helpful in an emergency?)

I wouldn’t leave them alone, I don’t think a 12 year old should have to supervise a 9 year old.

Probably wouldn’t plan activities as such, just be on hand to cook food and make sure they aren’t getting up to no good.

@Goldenbear thank you for backing up my "activities" honestly wish I'd never mentioned it I have younger dc and if we have other kids round they tend to do "activities" together especially if they dont t have siblings etc it's fun for them

@Youaremysunshine14 thank you I do feel the point is being missed by some

If they really drove after doing double shots, why did you let your DD stay there in the first place?