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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feel so guilty and ashamed

128 replies

HellNo2 · 05/06/2022 06:35

So I went to a wedding with my DH this weekend (I didn’t know anybody and was a tad nervous)…people kept buying me shots and I stupidly drank them. I was so drunk to the point where the bride had to ask my DH had a problem with her sister as I kept banging into her when dancing 😢 I was also sick outside the venue…oh dear 😭

OP posts:
Daenerys77 · 05/06/2022 14:24

It's unlikely that you will have spoiled anyone's evening. At least you didn't declare undying love for the groom/start a handbags-at-dawn fight with the maid of honour/swing from the glitterball.

Enidcat5 · 05/06/2022 14:29

Kool4katz · 05/06/2022 08:23

Are you 16? Using alcohol to change the way you feel and give you false courage is never a good idea. You need to grow up and take responsibility for your actions. Starting with apologies to the Bride and Bride’s sister and your DH too.

No, most of us haven’t done similar at someone else’s wedding as the majority of people are moderate drinkers and sadly, you will have earned yourself a reputation now which won’t be easy to change.

Consider swapping to soft drinks after the toasts at future gatherings?

Jesus Christ what a spiteful post. Do you come on here just to make other people feel horrible when they already clearly feel shit?

Op you're not the first and you won't be the last. Send a message to say how sorry and ashamed you are, they will understand.

Doginthewindow · 05/06/2022 14:30

I’d rather be you than @Kool4katz.

GrandRapids · 05/06/2022 14:36

I once jumped up on a table and pulled my trousers down at a wedding, exposing my pants to all and sundry. I was hammered obviously. Not my finest hour!

anothernamedoesntsmellsosweet · 05/06/2022 14:39

At a relatives wedding my future in law got drunk and she would say she embarrassed herself, we all found it funny, at the same relatives 2nd wedding recently her son was the one that got drunk and had an amazing night dancing and entertaining us all. Again we all found it funny and didn't react negatively to it

ProclivityForPyrotechnics · 05/06/2022 14:47

Why did the bride as if you had a problem with her sister? Anyone with a brain would be able to see that you were just drunk dancing and she should have moved!

SmartCarDriver · 05/06/2022 15:19

Kool4katz · 05/06/2022 08:23

Are you 16? Using alcohol to change the way you feel and give you false courage is never a good idea. You need to grow up and take responsibility for your actions. Starting with apologies to the Bride and Bride’s sister and your DH too.

No, most of us haven’t done similar at someone else’s wedding as the majority of people are moderate drinkers and sadly, you will have earned yourself a reputation now which won’t be easy to change.

Consider swapping to soft drinks after the toasts at future gatherings?

Why are you asking go is the OP 16? A pit down from you is it?

Take a long hard look at yourself and ask why you're so sanctimonious?

I assume you don't have a very wide social circle?

Sugarplumfairy65 · 05/06/2022 15:23

Kool4katz · 05/06/2022 08:23

Are you 16? Using alcohol to change the way you feel and give you false courage is never a good idea. You need to grow up and take responsibility for your actions. Starting with apologies to the Bride and Bride’s sister and your DH too.

No, most of us haven’t done similar at someone else’s wedding as the majority of people are moderate drinkers and sadly, you will have earned yourself a reputation now which won’t be easy to change.

Consider swapping to soft drinks after the toasts at future gatherings?

Likely to be called a party pooper, but I agree. I detest drunks.
It must have been bad for the bride to comment

ManateeFair · 05/06/2022 15:38

Kool4katz · 05/06/2022 08:23

Are you 16? Using alcohol to change the way you feel and give you false courage is never a good idea. You need to grow up and take responsibility for your actions. Starting with apologies to the Bride and Bride’s sister and your DH too.

No, most of us haven’t done similar at someone else’s wedding as the majority of people are moderate drinkers and sadly, you will have earned yourself a reputation now which won’t be easy to change.

Consider swapping to soft drinks after the toasts at future gatherings?

Calm down, Jenny Judgeypants. OP got a bit pissed at a wedding where clearly other people were also getting pissed because there were rounds of shots being purchased. It’s not the end of the world and contrary to your belief, most adults on this earth have had a bit too much to drink at a big celebration at least once in their lives. We live and learn. Really not a big deal.

OP, it’s fine. I would send a message to the bride and say you’re so sorry and embarrassed that you got so drunk, you don’t usually do this but you were enjoying the party and people were being super generous with the rounds of drinks and you somehow got a bit carried away in the moment. You can also ask her to pass on your apologies to her sister. I’m sure she’ll understand - honestly, if it had been my wedding I’d have found it funny! Assuming you weren’t actually aggressive or anything.

If I had to choose between the two, I would prefer a wedding guest who has one too many drinks but enjoys themselves, rather than a wedding guest who makes a point of staying sober but then spends the whole evening feeling awkward, or looking down their nose at other people who were drinking.

Binkybix · 05/06/2022 15:39

I once jumped up on a table and pulled my trousers down at a wedding, exposing my pants to all and sundry. I was hammered obviously. Not my finest hour!

😂 Don’t worry OP. I’m sure it’s all forgotten. Look after yourself and you’ll feel much better tomorrow. PS My DH was sick outside at our wedding.

sleepymum50 · 05/06/2022 15:57

Voluto - waking up in soup!!! Please tell me more.

My wedding cringe is from just a few years ago. BIL getting married for the third time. Really nice and I was enjoying myself so much, then suddenly ended up in the loos throwing up. (Not used to drinking) My 15 year old daughter led me upstairs to our hotel room, tucked me up in bed, before going back to the wedding. I was 55 years old FFS!

I pretty sure it was only my husband and DD aware of the state I got into and they both thought it was funny as I’m such a well behaved person normally.

So I had to sit my Dd down and explain about the dangers of drinking, using my self as a poor example.

OP I firmly believe incidents like this make us more humane, and more tolerant and forgiving of others foibles.

THisbackwithavengeance · 05/06/2022 16:01

"Mumsnet can be very pickle-faced when it comes to drinking and socialising*".
*
This is spot on but conversely drug taking is seen as a bit risqué but acceptable and par for the course...

Don't worry OP. As others have said, if shots were being served, there will be others who have made a far worse tit of themselves than a bit of lairy dancing I fell down a flight of stairs and then tried to cop off with the bride's dad's best friend.

Popsicle33 · 05/06/2022 16:07

Haha! I was pissed the other night and kept slinking to the fridge to top up my wine and sneak some fridge canapes. I cut yet another slice of Spanish tortilla sprinkled on some salt. Then put a blob of mayo in my wine! I scooped it out and ate it. Luckily only my cats saw me but they really gave me withering looks 😂😂😂

WhoKnowsProbsNotMe · 05/06/2022 16:11

Kool4katz · 05/06/2022 08:23

Are you 16? Using alcohol to change the way you feel and give you false courage is never a good idea. You need to grow up and take responsibility for your actions. Starting with apologies to the Bride and Bride’s sister and your DH too.

No, most of us haven’t done similar at someone else’s wedding as the majority of people are moderate drinkers and sadly, you will have earned yourself a reputation now which won’t be easy to change.

Consider swapping to soft drinks after the toasts at future gatherings?

Off you fuck @Kool4katz 👋

honestly it won’t be as bad as you think, can almost guarantee if there were shots all round you will not have been the only bad dancer 💃 or the only one to be sick!

could have been so much worse!

xxx

Doginthewindow · 05/06/2022 16:12

Popsicle33 · 05/06/2022 16:07

Haha! I was pissed the other night and kept slinking to the fridge to top up my wine and sneak some fridge canapes. I cut yet another slice of Spanish tortilla sprinkled on some salt. Then put a blob of mayo in my wine! I scooped it out and ate it. Luckily only my cats saw me but they really gave me withering looks 😂😂😂

😂

AvocadoOnToastt · 05/06/2022 16:14

Ahhh be kind to yourself! Have a long hot bath, a cup of tea and DO NOT relive the night over and over in your mind 😄

Hangxiety is the worst!!

GlassTable · 05/06/2022 16:15

Op I went to the wedding of people I didn't know many years back and by the end of the night I was incessantly serenading the bride from the floor (no idea why) and was politely asked to leave. I had to wake up and have breakfast with them the next day. I ended up very good friends with the bride and we laugh about it when we remember it now! The fear will pass x

SmartCarDriver · 05/06/2022 16:21

Likely to be called a party pooper, but I agree. I detest drunks.
It must have been bad for the bride to comment

I detest judgemental bores, we all have our crosses to be bear.

What grounds do you have to call OP a drunk, she got drunk that's all, doesn't make her a drunk!

FabFitFifties · 05/06/2022 16:30

No, most of us haven’t done similar at someone else’s wedding as the majority of people are moderate drinkers and sadly, you will have earned yourself a reputation now which won’t be easy to change. OP feels bad enough for goodness sake 🙄

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 05/06/2022 16:34

I disagree with those saying you should message the bride and apologise. She doesn't need reminding of any bad parts of the wedding and there's no need to make this week about you. Leave it a few weeks at least.

TheNeverEndingSt0ry · 05/06/2022 16:39

Honestly I haven’t been to a wedding yet where I’ve not seen at least one person get ruined and make a massive knob out of themselves. A little awkward that you don’t know them but at least you didn’t show your self up in front of people you see regularly. Are you likely to see them again?

beachcitygirl · 05/06/2022 16:40

It's called "the fear"
Cuddle under the duvet on the sofa, have a McDonald's or Chinese food tonight. I

If you're on fb or WhatsApp with bride & or her sister or new hubby. Drop a message. Thanking for fabulous wedding, apologise for being " too merry" - " it was just such a fabulous day"

Compliment the bride & groom, say sister looked fab. Fab venue.
Laugh at yourself a little.

I guarantee you will get a thank you & a smiley face or the like back! Loads of people get a bit too merry at weddings - it's no biggie & no one will mind at all today! 

Ignore @Kool4katz and her stick up her jacksie.

beachcitygirl · 05/06/2022 16:52

Ps go read @handsoff thread on aibu about embarrassing stories. It will make ya few loads better x

missymarrk · 05/06/2022 16:56

I fell asleep on a table at a wedding. I didn't drink for a year after that. I'd been exhausted and quite anxious as it was a new crowd. One too many shots! It's worse in your head than it probably is! Get a nice take away down you and chill out. You'll laugh about it when the fear disappears! You never hurt anyone or smashed anything or ended up in any trouble with the police. All good!

Comedycook · 05/06/2022 17:01

The brides sister sounds a bit precious...big deal, pissed woman on dancefloor banged into you...just move away. Who cares?! I wouldn't bother the bride with such trivia.

Don't text and apologize....forget the whole thing.

Worse things happen.

I say this as someone who is tee total