Dad in women's loo .

[HappyDays40]

I have been to the loo in Mc Donald's and was mid flow when a dad walks in with his daughters aged about 4 and 6.He stands waiting while his daughters are using the toilet. I came out and said you are not supposed to be in here.
He said he had to take his daughters to the loo and I told him that he needed to either wait outside or take them the mens. He said they don't need to see that and I told him that he shouldn't be hanging round in women's toilets for any reason. His sense of entitlement gave me the rage so I told a member of staff. I can only imagine how triggering that could be for some women. Intrusive fucker.

They have men cleaners. U have a closed door. I dont see the problem

@Simonjt yes, I'm fully aware lots of disabled people have children, I'm one of them. In this instance it's neither scummy or selfish to take the girls into the accessible toilet, but a man going into a womens toilet, most definitely is, and it's also illegal.

At 4 & 6 I think he did the right thing. These are cubicles not open urinals as in the mens. I would not want a daughter in the mens either.

I agree, but as far as I know men going into womens toilets is not illegal. (TWAW pretty well proves that). I wish it was.

@MarmiteOnToast yes, they do have men cleaners, but in that instance they have to put a sign up to make people aware that cleaners of both sexes may be present.

As an adult woman surely you took a 4yo DS in the women's? Same as I would take my 4yo DD in the men's.

I wouldn't expect a woman to walk into the men's because there DS needed the toilet?

Of course its scummy and selfish if you’re not disabled, if he wasn’t a twat he’d use the mens.

Such a massive over reaction. It was a dad looking after two young girls on his own. Give him a bloody break.

I would have had absolutely no problem with this and would probably have given him a wry smile of solidarity. Parenting is bloody hard and you have to make calls all the time about the best thing to do.

We are so keen for men to be more hands on with parenting and then the second one is trying, we jump on him for it? Brilliant.

I think there should be change facilities in all toilets. Mens, womens and disabled, and gender neutral/unisex.

This. I have a 5 year old boy. He knows that when daddy takes him out/swimming, he uses the male facilities and, when he is with me, he uses the female ones (though I will occasionally let him use the 'boy' ones on his own if they're just a single row with an open entrance and I can keep him within earshot). He knows that this is because he is a 'little boy' and little boys and girls can use either but they have to stay with their parents. 'Big boys and girls' (like his mummy and daddy) have to use the right set and can't go in the wrong one. If he can understand this, you'd think most adults could too.

"Adults have the right to privacy from adult members of the opposite sex. Society recognises this, which is why we have single sex spaces.
Young children don't have the same need of or right to privacy as adults do. Nor do adults have the same right to privacy from opposite sex children as they do from opposite sex adults.
This is why (as per a recent thread) it is fine for a 6 year old boy to be in the women's changing-room but it is not fine fine for that child's mother to accompany him into the men's. Women's rights to privacy from adult men do not extend to a young male child. Vice versa, men do not have rights to privacy in respect of young female children because society simply does not view children below a certain age as either needing or posing a threat to privacy."

@ChocolateHippo Exactly!

Ps many disabled loos are locked with radar keys so this isn't an option always available - our McDonald's has a disabled toilet within each of the mens and womens loos

Yes I know not every woman can use a tampon but that’s kind of an irrelevant comment. And, sorry but taking off your knickers does mean you need to strip your bottoms off to get them off does it not? And how do you not bleed everywhere while washing your bloody knickers?
No dried blood that’s been dry a few hours doesn’t stain, and the fact you think hot water has nothing to do with how to wash out blood so that it does not stain means you don’t know what you are talking about in all honesty. Blood must be washed out with cold water or it will stain. That’s a basic life skill to know as a woman.

YABU

world’s gone fucking mad

YABVU, given he was looking after his DDs, AND unnecessarily agressive. I imagine you were in a cubicle, no? So not in view.

Do people really wash their underwear in public toilets? Christ. Just take a bag with you and wash them at home.

You don't need to 'strip' unless you're wearing trousers. You just slip them off under your skirt or dress and walk out to the sink. You don't strip at the sink!

Actually you are wrong, dried blood does indeed stain. Sometimes you can get it out, but not always. This is basic that every woman knows.

I never said that I wash the underwear with hot water or cold water. I said that hot water (that you mentioned, I didn't) is irrelevant to the topic of blood drying. It's too late if it's dried, so hot water or cold water is irrelevant. The point is to get to the stain (with cold water), before it has dried.

At least after this the dad knows it's best too leave childcare of his female children to his wife. He would have been better off going to the cricket. Bit of an own goal for that woman.

This notion of the “bigger picture” is what all safeguarding protocols are based on.
I pity anyone in your care. You’re very dismissive.

You do realise it's the attitudes displayed here that are encouraging businesses to have unisex loos! Saves all the hassle of needs another toilet in case a dad comes in with a daughter. And yes it's an issue for us because dsd is profoundly disabled so needs help from her dad as an adult and as she has periods it needs to be in cubicle with a disposal facility for 1 week in 4, not everywhere has a disabled toilet and we cannot get a radar key anyway due to crazy bureaucracy and the fact she has 3 sets of caregivers and her primary one (social services appointed) has the disabled badge and key! Yes it's annoying, she knows me well but wants her dad to take her to the loo, fair enough (usually with me outside warning women going in!)

Yes, many women do. It's part of being a woman. I am surprised at the amount of women on here who haven't encountered this. Perhaps they haven't used womens toilets as often as I do to come across it.

You can't 'take them home' because if the blood dries, you're basically stuffed, and, you need underwear to put a pad on. And you can't go about knickerless!

Washing bloody pants in a public sink is disgusting. Who thinks this is ok?

@cornishcrusader if it is that much of a safeguarding risk for your young foster children, what happens in a couple of years time, when they are old enough to go into the ladies by themselves when out with your husband, and they come across a man in the ladies toliets? Why is that not also a risk?

I agree with you. I might have not explained myself very well and for that I apologise. I was explaining the social services rules we have to follow, not that I personally agree with them. Everyday I find myself doing things that I would not have done with my own children, or things that I find are nonsensical. But I bite my lip and do them because I love the children and want to continue to care for them. In answer to your exact question social services would probably say that accompany them until they are 30 - but seriously it would depend on their past experiences and when able to be more independent, always encourage them to share any experience that made them feel uncomfortable so we could support them. - but of course that is mere words!

I take it you're a male or have never had a period? It's what womens sinks in womens toilets are there for!

Where @Northbynorthbreast ? We will happily campaign for baby change facilities to be added in the mens toilets or separate areas created. I am baffled as I just have not come across any spaces where the only baby change area is in the womens toilets in the last 12+ years. It's shocking to hear there still are some. It's appalling that your dh feels forced to invade womens spaces to care for your dc.

If I were him, I would be talking to managers at any facility with this set up and voting with my feet and not returning to any I found.

I'd also try to pre-empt the issue - I've changed many nappies on a mat in a laid flat buggy, on a floor etc - obviously not in a cafe or shop. But quiet area of a park etc. I'd choose that or waiting til I got home/wherever rather than use a space I wasn't allowed in other than in poo explosion emergency I think.