Daughters 22 year old boyfriend shes known for 13 days

[Nothappyatwork]

Is going to be spending the weekend sleeping overnight at Ex’s house with my young not teenage yet son.

am I unreasonable to say no ?
daughter is 18 (if that’s relevant). he’s completely lost all control of her.

@KettrickenSmiled Fantasy, what a very odd thing to say.

Me parenting her is utterly out of the question, has been years.
this is a result of eight years of parental alienation on his part so he’s reaping exactly what he’s sowen. she’s the collateral damage what I’m trying to do is protect the little one from becoming the same.

@KettrickenSmiled Er ok 👍

Get some help

Yes, please do. That post was just sick.

I wrote it and then completely forgot all about it, somebody else is cutting and pasting it probably with their cock in their hand.

You really are very poorly.

Yeah probably

Agreed, that's not normal

It’s not normal ?

it was this woman’s reality, we know it’s not normal it’s criminal 🙄

My response was in exasperation to the 57% of people who think I have no place in wanting to protect my younger child. Fairly typical of Mumsnet, none of your business what the ex does with your child when you’re not there.

however who is going to be sorry if something did happen to my son the Mumsnet oh so cool and chilled massive or me ?

you are 18 when you live away and go to university. im not saying its right, but it is not exactly rare for girls to stay at guys places in halls, etc!

i know from experience!

@esoryelneh that is exactly what she is like right now. We had another scenario where long story short older child is at university and was in its room after a night out and somebody else got into bed with them. Older child is obviously distressed and reported it, my younger child blamed the old one said that theyd made it all up, minimised it, not that bad etc. She has quite a screwed up view of right and wrong. Lies, steals. Thats not what this thread is about though.
57% of you think she is in the right. Luckily the only two people whose opinion actually counts do not. But worryingly After a mere 13 days this boys opinion holds more weight with her than everyone within the family.

Not good.

I’ve reported the post and I’ve reported every single one of the cut-and-paste of which there are many. I do think that’s quite strange behaviour to be honest.

he is not a teenager he is a grown man and I don’t want him sleeping in the house with my son. As we’ve ascertained neither does my ex so it’s not happening thank you so much for your input.

'My response was in exasperation to the 57% of people who think I have no place in wanting to protect my younger child.'. What did you expect? That everyone on MN would be on your side? Surely you're not that naive. If you didn't want people to disagree with you you shouldn't have bothered posing the question. You got exactly what you asked for.

👍

What’s strange behaviour?

to quote something you said? Is it not stranger to actually post it in the first place?

No, not normal to be imagining a very specific graphic sexual act and posting about it.

I wouldn't have been allowed to have anyone staying over unless we were married, so this scenario would never have arisen.

Nothing you can do about your sap of an ex allowing your daughter's boyfriend of 13 days (!) to stay over. But I can see why you're concerned for your son.

As for anyone claiming that nothing could happen to the boy whilst he's staying in the same house as his father and sister, cast your mind back 4 years to the what happened to the wee girl on Bute. A full house of adults she was in at the time, surrounded by family.

OP I’m trying to understand the family set up - does your daughter live with her dad? And your son (who lives with you) visits his father and sister at a weekend?

if this is the case then you have no right to demand what she is allowed to do at her family home and as it is her dads house then his rules.

TBH you sound very controlling and I wonder if your ex has agreed to not let your daughter have her boyfriend stop over because you are threatening to stop his access to your son. If I was him I’d seek legal advice re access.

OP maybe you need to see GP/therapy to help you transition from parent of a young child to parent of teenagers and adults.

For what my two cents is worth I think you are being reasonable. If you're daughter wants to stay over with the boyfriend she can go to his home and stay there, you and her dad both have every right to say that this man does not get to stay in your house.
If at 18 your daughter finds that unreasonable remind her that she is an adult and old enough to leave home if she wants.
I'm 28 and would NEVER have had a boyfriend stay at my parents house unless it was a well established relationship and it was a rare occurrence (IE. Staying for Christmas). When I lived at home with my parents I would never have invited a boyfriend to stay over, even if we'd been together 6 months. I can't imagine how mortified I would have been having a boyfriend of two weeks to stay overnight at my parents house.

Glad your ex is unhappy. It would be a firm no from me. Yes your DD is 18 but the fact is this is pretty much a random man that none of you know much about sleeping in the same house as your younger child. Nope.

Your daughter is 18, an adult. If she was away at Uni you would have no idea what she was doing in her social life.
I really don’t see the problem.

If you actually think that your DD is such a bad judge of character that she is seeing someone who will attack your son and that your ex won’t be able to do anything to prevent it then I'm surprised that you aren't more worried about your DD. I also wonder how you will cope when your son is a teenager. You're not going to be able to control his every move and environment then.