Daughters 22 year old boyfriend shes known for 13 days

[Nothappyatwork]

Is going to be spending the weekend sleeping overnight at Ex’s house with my young not teenage yet son.

am I unreasonable to say no ?
daughter is 18 (if that’s relevant). he’s completely lost all control of her.

You really think this is what's going on? I mean come on.

Tell DD to find some self respect and make do with flicking her bean until she's known her potential partner more than 5 minutes.

YANBUatall.

This is absolutely nothing to do with age and everything to do with timing it's only been 13 days he's a complete stranger most teens would have their boyfriends meet the parents first go round for a meal get to know each other before sleepovers became a thing you don't invite random people to stay in family homes is dangerous

Oh my fucking days.

Yep, that's right. What shred of fucking evidence do you have that OP's daughter's boyfriend is a paedophile, you paranoid nutter?

I’ve said YABU because I think realistically there are two other adults in the house as well so I don’t think your son is the biggest concern or highest at risk

your daughter with low self esteem is the issue
I’m not sure of many men at 22 that want to go home with a girl they’ve known less than two weeks
to stay at her dads and hang out with her little brother
that is enough of a red flag for me on the kind of man she’s chosen
could you all request that he doesn’t stay the night but perhaps comes for dinner instead so you can get to know him a bit. That way you’re not saying no to the relationship, if anything you can be super happy for the relationship (to her) but still put a stopper in her/his way

Wait

how old is your son?

Not yet a teenager

I wouldn't want a stranger staying the night with my young child either. Can you keep your son at home?

Apart from the 13 days and the concerns over your ds, surely she's going so that she can spend time with her dad? I would say no and if your ex isn't happy either all he has to do is grow a pair and say no as well. Ridiculous.

She's 18. 13 days is fair game - I have young adult DD's

I would be concerned ab t the maturity of an 18 year old who wants her parents to know he is having sex with someone she has only known for a few days.

there is something else going on here.

no judgement on the sex - she is a young adult and it’s her body. But why does her dad need to know and why does it have to happen in his house? She is trying to push buttons here.

I agree he was lording it over me that apparently she tells him everything and that they’re so close. I was like she tells you everything because she want you to hit the fucking roof and ground her. Show her that you actually give a shit.

I’ve managed to have a conversation with the ex and the ex is not happy either .

Then he needs to shut it down.

His house, his rules.

My first 2 dc are a lot older than my younger 2. Ds1 was 18 when ds4 was born

The rule was always no randoms staying over, I don't think it's far on younger dc never knowing who's in the house

Actually I wouldn't want it myself either so I don't think it's unreasonable to not want someone staying over after 13 days

I am glad to read that your exH and you OP agree on this.

I wouldn't be happy either, but she is an adult at 18. Also it's your ex's house, so his rules apply.

TBH I think I would have let the DC have partners over, (not that they did as they were all at uni at 18, so I didn't know what they were up to), the alternative is that they end up doing it in a car somewhere.
Why do you think that you think he is a sex pest? Do you think that of every man or just men that she is dating?

So in the last breath he’s completely lost control of her, but you’ve since taken the time to ask, and he’s not happy either?

How do you ever get anything sorted out co-parenting when you jump to conclusions like this?!

I don't think that the problem is with their ages, OP. It is the fact that she has only known him for 13 days!!!! I'm 65, and sexual mores were alittl different in my day. Despite having plenty of sex before meeting my OH, it was usually 2/3 months into a relationship when sex happened.

Would your really be okay with someone sleeping overnight at your house who you have never met and who your child has known for less then two weeks?

do people really not mind having strangers in their home?

again, no judgement on sex - but are people really okay with what are practically one night stands coming into your home? I am sorry but I would not and I would be having a talk to my son or daughter about safety.

"The rule was always no randoms staying over, I don't think it's far on younger dc never knowing who's in the house
Actually I wouldn't want it myself either so I don't think it's unreasonable to not want someone staying over after 13 days"

Yep. We had that rule the last time I shared a house as well - nobody staying over without prior notice. Still, one person had one night stands and as I knew would happen, one of them mistakenly came into my room one night. Unless you have a lock, it's inevitable with drunk strangers.

How would preventing the boyfriend staying be "teaching boys to respect women"?

Yes, there a lot of teenagers having sex in cars and places that are not that safe. Their parents achieve nothing from telling them their partners can't stay over.