to think forgiving cheating is mature?

[youdroppedthis]

Hear me out.
I've been thinking about this for a while. No, not because my husband is cheating on me. But because I find myself thinking. Look at Victoria Beckham. So her husband slept with that silly woman and Victoria Beckam didn't LBT, she carried on and kept having a family with him and had another son the year after.
Now, instead of attending Brooklyn’s wedding to headlines of ‘VB meets estranged husband DB at son’s wedding, tensions high, etc. Etc. Etc.’
She attended with her husband as a family unit.

So, to think this is better? To think that had she left her life would have been worse?

What do you think of forgiving cheating?

Why would her life have been worse? It’s not black or white or mature or immature(?!?!). What a weird position to take.

Her husband slept with that silly woman? Are you for real OP??

This is ridiculous, she may have got lucky and he may have stayed loyal since. Many people who’s partners cheat would end up being destroyed by their repeated cheating, the kids would notice eventually, and the mug who stayed may get left for the other woman/man eventually anyway.

No woman should be defined by a man, their life is not ‘better’ and they are not more ‘mature’ because they forgive a cheating man.

In some marriages forgiveness works I agree, but your point is just stupid. Leaving someone who betrays you and cheats is not immature.

I wouldn't forgive cheating, once a cheat always a cheat. Simple as.

Has the site been invaded by the one that shan't be named?

Supporting abusers and now this?

I wouldn't say it's particularly mature, many people stay because they're afraid on being on their own.

I think asserting your boundaries shows maturity.

It's nothing to do with immaturity. Choosing to end a relationship because you no longer trust or love the person who cheated isn't immature. It's also perfectly possible to remain on amicable enough terms to both attend your son/daughter's wedding without any issues.

No it's not mature, it's naive to think that the cheater wont do it again, they know they can get away with it and have demonstrated that they don't respect you enough not to fuck around with other people.

We have no idea if David actually regretted his decisions and has been monogamous ever since or if he's got better at hiding it and she's got better at not seeing it.

Very much depends on a lot of variables.. you, your partner, the context, history… there’s definitely no blank and white answer. I am of the belief that some people can move beyond cheating. But not all. I think if both sides are committed to a relationship that you can continue and move beyond but it is a hard mountain to climb. Some people are serial cheats or pathological liars and these people are not committed to their partners, not really. Other people are just human and can make terrible mistakes during their lifetime for a whole host of reasons. Some partnerships can recover from trauma, others no. Xo

It suited her to keep the happy family image, just like it suited him. They aren’t like normal couples. I think they lead pretty separate lives.

Why would it have been so terrible for papers to talk about her being divorced? Not everything is about outside appearances and there is nothing wrong with a marriage not working out.

PP has covered my feelings on this but I just wanted to say we don't know whether her life would have been worse had she left David? There's nothing to say she couldn't have had a nice life if she left, maybe she would have been happier if she found a partner she could trust however they aren't a normal couple so maybe it was easier to stay together.

I don't think it's mature or immature to forgive a cheater but there's a lot of different circumstances and background in each relationship.

I suspect theres a big difference between staying with a multi-millionaire cheater who subsidises your fashion line and your common or garden cheater who barely makes enough to pay his share of the mortgage.

No, it's not. The mature thing is not to stick your Willy into another woman's vagina. She chose, for her own reasons, to forgive him, and was able to. Not everyone can. It's not immature to decide you can't figure e your partners betrayal.

”Silly woman”…?

i would think it's less mature. a mature woman or man is not afraid to separate and go through life on their own. the immature partner hangs on.
likewise a mature person would not attend a wedding and cause any scene.

They are/were a brand, it was in their own interests to make it work.

Nothing to do with maturity- in fact you could argue it's the opposite.
A lot of women tend to stay because they are scared of breaking the status quo. They can't project and envision anything past their current life.

Cheating is shit. I guess some women will rationalise it, à la Jane Clarke, by clamouring that despite the cheating they were their husband's true love because at the end of the day he came home to them...

Personally I don't think I could forgive cheating- it's the ultimate lack of respect in my book.

I don't think it's anything to do with maturity. Women stay with cheating men for many reasons

Some are able to forgive and get on with it and some aren't, some women feel they have no choice as they will be disadvantaged by being a single parent

I'm not sure Colleen Rooney as an example of another fw is staying because she's so mature, he's been caught cheating how many times? Although I think she's quite religious from what I've read (not much) so maybe that's the reason

I don't think it's mature to stay with someone who repeatedly treats you with such a lack of respect

Rebecca Loos. A woman who has, in the past, done two very silly things.

Second one being something with an actual pig ?

Why did you refer to Rebecca Loos as that silly woman?
Genuinely don't get it.

Stop me if I’m wrong, but as far as I’m aware the affair wasn’t proven..?

If there was an affair, calling the OW a “silly woman” diminishes David’s willing participation. Better to just focus on whether there was an affair to begin with. If so, leave the OW out of it entirely so the full weight of responsibility can be on him. I’ve seen too many men get off scot-free because some “silly woman” led the poor little lambs astray.

Or he took out an injunction, who knows

I don't consider the Beckhams to be role models.

I admire people with self worth and high self esteem.
Those are mature qualities